I had a nightmare last night that I was living in a tent and a man with a knife was trying to break in. I woke Mom up by screaming in my sleep, “I’m gonna fucking kill you.” An exciting way to start the day.

Music is a magical thing. Listened to Hellogoodbye and was suddenly 17 again, in my old room, AC unit on blast, hiding from the world. 18 years ago rushed right back to me like that boy never disappeared, like I can reach back behind me and hold his hand and tell him he’s okay.

Mom was telling me about how when she was little she had to go to a special after school class for a while to help with her learning disability and she would spend the whole time crying because she had to miss Scooby Doo. 🥺 that broke my heart.

Found out tonight that main reason we got evicted is because abusive ex stepdad threatened our landlord with violence and fire. I want Frago him into a wood chipper.

Apparently I napped through a tornado today.

Sorry to keep resharing this but I’m trying it keep my disabled mother and I as safe as possible while we rebuild our lives and get out of homelessness. Things are tough currently. Anything helps and is greatly appreciated.

Importing heterofatalism into gay culture is so gross and corrosive. If you don’t like men as people and can’t be friends with them, you don’t need to be dating them.That’s abuser behavior. Delete the apps and download Better Help.

Considering the gods I honor, this is my equivalent of seeing the Virgin Mary in toast.

Sciatica, vertigo, overheated, anxious — jumping Jehoshaphat, my body needs to pick ONE.

Finally, after months of emails and phone calls, we heard back from mom’s old company. They’re not going to let her back. Despite the claims against her being proven lies by a judge. She is devastated.

Worrying constantly about basic human survival sucks. I wanna worry about something fun for a change, like parade planning or candy.

@althaeasebastiani.bsky.social I wanted to say thank you, friend. 💙

My grandmother used to work at Burger King in the early 90s as the kids birthday party planner, then my dad managed one for years. When I was small and would go to the doctor, BK was my special treat restaurant. Needless to say, I have a deep ancestral resonance with the Burger Monarchy.

A very ghoulish haunted object short story I wrote awhile back. open.substack.com/pub/owlsligh...

Sorry to keep resharing this but I’m trying it keep my disabled mother and I as safe as possible while we rebuild our lives and get out of homelessness. Things are tough currently. Anything helps and is greatly appreciated.

Was up late last night with mom as she sobbed. My heart breaks. It’s so easy to feel helpless. All I want is to fix this for her.

Hearing Donna Summer’s ‘I Feel Love’ in a gay leather bar in the 70s for the first time must’ve been transcendent.

I hate begging for money all the time. It breaks my soul and I just feel bleak and defeated. I don’t want to be homeless anymore.

Had to choose between buying food, my meds, or rent. The same spiral ensues.

Had a dream last night that I was sleeping at my grandmother’s house and a ghost kept snuggling me and trying to massage my feet. Like thank you, sir, but this is my grandma’s house and I’m trying to sleep.

“I consider myself a cinephile.” Okay, but have you seen Pin? It’s got a spooky incest mannequin in it.

Apparently, I am presently responsible for introducing the term ‘political anhedonia’ to a bunch of people on instagram. This will be my legacy: being very annoyed with performative joylessness.

I’ve heard through the grapevine that Jem is truly outrageous, but I have my doubts.

Googie architecture is one of my favorite American aesthetic movements. I want to live like the Jettsons.

Stay Tuned is on Tubi. Oh, John Ritter, my sweet prince.

Sharing this again. I’m trying not to get kicked out of my hotel room, I have nowhere else to go. I know these posts can make people uncomfortable and I apologize, but I have no other option at this time.

Seeing a food ad when your hungry and broke is the worse. Just about licked the screen seeing that Domino’s ad.

My brother who got angry and disowned me over needing help because me and our mother are homeless, has been sharing progressive tiktoks on Facebook. Maybe if I spin her homelessness and abuse as American imperialism or some such thing he’d care about his mother, too.

Social worker: “so what all do you guys need help with at this time?” Mom: “money, mostly. For food and to keep the room until we can get back on our feet.” Social worker: “Well, we’re gonna mail you an application for a life coach instead.” Mom: “😑”

Sharing again. I’m in a really tough spot and I’m trying to stay positive.

Was thinking about how my family doesn’t check on me and how some of them straight disowned me for being homeless, then I remembered all of my friends who’ve been kind and supportive to me and mom and I started crying. Anyway, good morning.

There are grown adults on twitter who for the past 24+ hours have been bullying a little boy for liking lip balm and lotion. This is a child, this a boy younger than 11. Homophobic, braindead, poison spewed at a child because grown adults need someone small to punch.

There’s a significant lack of big soft pretzels and hot cheese goo in my life right now. 😔

My mom, yelling into Siri: “rescue inhaler… RES-CUE IN-HAY-LURR… No! Not ‘lesbian videos’!”

“I’m midwestern.” Okay, but are you so midwestern that your parents once took you to all-day event grand opening of a newly remodeled Kroger store where your brother’s proto-emo band played and a man dressed as a cow read a grocery-themed storybook to kids? Because I am.

Movie beatniks are cooler to me than the real ones. Like the kind they’d joke about on Andy Griffith, or Ann-Margret in Kitten With A Whip. Just art school weirdos in turtlenecks saying jazzy nonsense.

Abusive ex stepdad told mom he’d help us out with rent and food. I didn’t believe him. Mom waited and waited. He lied to her. I don’t hate people but I do hate him.

There is a significant lack of positional awareness and mutual respect among a lot of LGBT ppl now, especially the GenZs. There’s this idea that bc you identify as something other than het, cis, etc., that you’re an automatic expert on all things lumped under the rainbow. Like no, no you’re not.

Mom’s old company turned her down again. “Judging by our review of our documents, your termination will remain.” Your documents are wrong, Bob! That’s the whole fucking problem. They lied about her and it was proven by a judge!

If someone could please come fix my life for me? I’ll be your best friend.

Saw a video of a woman complaining how neurotypical people lie more than neurodivergent people. I’ve yapped about this before, but good gods, does this stuff make my skin crawl. “Neurodivergent” is a political label. That’s it. You are not an X-men. You’re not magic or more moral for having ADHD.

We were finally given another higher up at mom’s old job to contact. If he can’t help us or turns us away again I told mom we should just sue. Watching her struggle all these months and cry herself to sleep at night has made me vicious in ways I never knew I could be.

Depression is getting to me tonight. Please Gods get me out of this. Please make me wealthy enough I never have to endure this again. Please make me wealthy enough to get other people out of this, too.

I’ve said it before but I would genuinely love a Varsity Blues style drama about color guard/a flag girl squad. Not making fun of them but centering them. They’re a part of American high school sports cultural that gets relegated to the background. Hell, even marching band had Drumline.

Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode.

“Hershey’s tastes like sick.” Hey! You leave my delicious Pennsylvanian puke chocolate alone! Get back with me when Cadbury makes adorable little kisses and doesn’t cost 5 bucks a bar.

You guys! There’s an owl on instagram who got to go to the aquarium and look at all the fish!! 🥹

Day two of migraine. Send icees.

The worst thing about Saint Patrick’s Day is the annual “is Irish-American a real thing?” discourse. Spoiler: it is. Historically, culturally, presently, it is. As far as Euro-American ethnic immigrant cultures go, Irish-American is a fairly disseminated one. People are just too lazy to look for it.

Trying not to get disheartened with today’s email. Mom had a long cry about it. We’re gonna try again with a higher-up.