uhhhhhhh I have a working meta account? this is where I prefer to joke.

" inventory room feng shui "

just me using "CEO" as a slur

"the way that humans invented profit and then used that concept to drive themselves headlong towards oblivion is actually sassy as fuck" them: "your double baconator meal is $17.76; cash or card?" me: "card"

my love language is acts of violence

my vape is my little emotional support robot... I would never lose it... 😅😅

no you're not weird; a lot of people didnt unemo after 30. also, how is that mood disorder treating you?

if I saw you driving oncoming on a two-lane I would totally kiss cars with you

euros: "it's not 'america' its 'usa' euros: "americans"

finna start putting my feet on food for money. these tattoos arent paying for themselves.

"protons have mass" and other catholic lies

fuck it. im gonna drop the ball right now.

my new years resolution is to stay terrible. y'all dont deserve better behavior. I will stay unhealed and toxic.

actually fuck 2025 too

if you are emo over 30 i have good news. cvs called; your antipsychotics are ready for pickup.

I am the universe experiencing itself crashing out or whatever

just me pronouncing the "anal" in Panama Canal

sometimes I am only alive to flex on the dead 🤘🏻☠️

I FOUND A FB RATMILK POST IN THE WILD

👀🐁🥛🤤

I searched Ratmilk posts and found this.

I put the STFU in dystfuncional

me pronouncing the "steroids" is "asteroids"

me: BIIIGG STREETCH! my proctologist: please stop

not tryna flex or anything but I'm friends with covid on bsky

Han Solo Duck Impeachment

*yawns* oh dang would ya look at the 🔋%

microdosing being president of the united states by shitposting on twitter

how about I spiral into something more comfortable

cant imagine why metallica is trending a whole 24 years after they stopped existing

and to you all a terrific toyotathon 🙏🖤😌

Hello Kitty is devastating to native Hawaiian wildlife, preying on everything from small native forest birds to waterfowl

inside you there are three ghosts

And the McRib™️, which the McLORD had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

y'all better tighten up. christmas is probably only days away

is Carmex made from ethically sourced cars

😠

😌 let this be a warning

um. when I clicked "close all apps" I meant "close everything but spotify" be fr 🙃

brb

hidden valley skin walker ranch

what tarot card tattoo should I get? I'm thinking about the two girls of cup