Noooooooo don't make me go to work I'm too sexy and my boner's too hard!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

Y'all ever hear a fagcent so perfect it makes you wanna risk it all?

Breeder business as usual

Made a new friend and it immediately paid off in a trade

Making stern eye contact while you both return your grocery carts to the front of the store is a body btw

Refilling my cabinets with shit from Costco and all I could think while I was there was "dollar fifty meat rocket is what they used to call me in college"

"What if I beat you up Mikey?" "I want you to! You got the entire day to do it knock yourself out! Knock ME out!!" "Okay well I wanna knock you out a different way..." "Okay well I want you to keep going when you do knock me out babygirl." And suddenly she's got a puddle between her legs.

Sorry but there's no way you're not pregnant after that lmfao

I finish paying off my car in three weeks

Sometimes you gotta wrangle him with a bit of force to calm him down

Oomf teased me too hard and I bred this cunt when I didn't mean to 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

I respect women enough to not hurt their vaginas that's why my penis is only 5 inches

No offense bro but this is a pretty strange spot for you to wanna be waking up in ain't it? 🤨🤨

Want some penis dude?

Eternal struggle

Porn aggregate accounts reposting my vids without credit or a link and then bitches in the comments tagging grok asking who I am like it knows or gives a motherfuck. I have a bomb strapped to my chest btw.

I miss my FFXIV catboy so bad bro that's my boi till the day I fawking die

Battling with how engagement fucking sucks on this site. I can post a thirst trap selfie on twit and get 50 retweets before I get home from work. I post that same thirst trap here and I'm lucky to get 10 reposts in a week 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

I swear he instinctively knows it's hump day before my own brain does

Feels real nice to be reconnecting with confidence I've lost the last several months, I was terrified of the work it'd take but everyone's making it so easy I was a dumb motherfucker before cuz I couldn't cope but!! I figured it out bitch what's good 💪💪

Your dad had some time to kill after his smoke break so why not?

It should be no surprise that watching pregnant women getting their cunts wrecked is my favorite porn genre

My mutual I've been giving bate advice to finally hit his own face with a single rope and it's like damn he really had to waste two days of his life stroking and holding the load to be able to achieve what I can do in half an hour

Throwback load that I threw forward pretty hard

Yup, you guessed it, more stamina training 💯💯💯

Oh no bro, my penis slipped out of my pants while I was sleeping!! So......... are you just gonna sit there and stare at it? 😅😅

Just some stamina training

When your breeder genes are your favorite quality and also your biggest curse (figuratively and literally)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Not exactly a softie but a fine Saturday nonetheless

Do any of my friends here, especially the ones that work out, have tips on gut health remedies? I've been in shambles all week with constant cramping and nausea and I'm just perplexed about what's going on more than anything cuz those are my only two symptoms

Call me Warhammer the way I got 40K 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

I'm this close to DoorDashing on the side for prince albert funds swear to god with my right hand on the bible

Y'all actually have zero clue how much I'm struggling to hold back making a gender fluid joke in one of my video captions

Thinking about how I thought I was straight the entirety of high school till I started fuckin around with this one twink who wouldn't leave me alone. I had a full beard and full chest of hair before I even made it into high school and it's crazy he wanted a daddy so bad he turned me into one

What's good lil gay folks in my phone

Heimlich maneuver as a sex act on a cub 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Don't think I've opened as many packs of one set before this one and they were all for my son who is also literally me 💯💯💯💯💯💯

Probably a good sign when your physical therapist walks back in from his lunch break and his right knee pops louder than you ever thought a bone could right? Also FUCK THAT HURT.

I've blocked so many conservative gays following me the past two weeks 🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩🫩 AND WHY ARE THEY ALL TWINKS???????????????

A gay guy's hag being much older than him is so fierce I love that shit

Those 5am sessions before work go crazy sometimes

It's truly always a fun time to meet a guy on one of the gay apps and hitting it off really strong then he immediately tries to fleece you for $50 on telegram

Unshredded plastic pussy and new cock rings just arrived today 😩😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

Chat they said I'm a ram but my dick is the goat how do I lean into this

Don't eat the white snow. Or do. I'm not your fuckin dad. Wait... ain't I tho?

I fucking love that the dolls love me so much I love making a hot girl's hung cock pathetically squirt their tiny loads with nothing but my curve splitting them wide open and fucking a hole through her prostate

He always wants to wake up just as I'm going to sleep 😴😴😴

Your Penis "Accidentally" Made You A Niche Internet Microcelebrity? Here's How to Deal With the Consequences by: Michael Onlyrams

Sexual desperation aside at least I look handsome this morning