It's kinda weird that he's more obsessed with his political opponents than with the men who tried to assassinate him.

Off the people Buy the people Force the people

For those not familiar with imperial measurements; a toe 4/19 of a foot.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gtff... @greenjellosuxx.bsky.social

I've accepted that a.i. is about to take my job. What really makes me angry is that it has taken away the joy of watching animal videos.

I'm just waiting for the news to break that Don Jr owns a hydrogen peroxide plant.

Old man yelling at Claude

@housedemocrats.bsky.social in 2028, please run on 'Make America America Again'.

Since Kash Patel has his own brand of bourbon, Hegseth should have his own brand of Japanese rice wine named "For Pete's Sake"

In his defence he's not taking part in the drill. He's practicing for his next walk-and-turn field sobriety test.

I think we all know why he isn't going to the wedding. He's simply not invited.

Like most passwords, I'm often too simple, too short or too old.

I once took a class in film study and there was a lot of talk about 'subtext'. Then someone told me it's an anagram for 'buttsex' and I had to drop out and now I'm unable to talk intelligently about movies. You're welcome.

... and RFK Jr will read every audiobook on audible

They're not just shiπing on the flag. They're wiping their a$&es with it. TP USA

Now JD Vance has to campaign for Putin and Kim Jung Un

Tiger in the streets, cheats in the sheets.

JD won the Hungary Games

Something for Keith to look into, @bradyharan.bsky.social

Some people are questioning Apple's latest business decisions, but I say let Tim Cook.

or into Sirius (a.k.a the Dog star)

That's not makeup, that's Pam Bondo

I sometimes feel I don't live up to the password requirements. too old too short too simple

Perhaps the Dept of War and the Board of Peace should fight it out.

I can't figure out which sounds more plausible for an #Australian to say: A. Hold my snake, I'm getting another beer. B. Hold my beer, I'm getting another snake.

Very Meta

Ich bin ein Frankfurter

Ok, broomer

Donald Trump - prizeless

We need hats that say MAAA!! Make America America Again

Punctuation is also important: Avril Lavigne singing "Bite", me on the Dick, Clark rocking new year's eve.

It always bothered me that there are 100 cents (as in centimetres) in a Dollar. Somehow I feel like 141 or something similar would be more fitting. "How much for a Snickers bar? "That'll be sixteen thirteenths, please."

Over at FBI, Kash is flying 💸

When I was a kid: "Stop watching tv, we're gonna play a game together" Now with my kids: "Stop playing games, we're gonna watch tv together"

@leahlitman.bsky.social If Vance wins in 28 with Trump as his VP and then steps down, would Trump then become president a third time? (My background is in computer science, so be gentle.)

@funnysnarkyjoke.bsky.social Here's a suggestion for a meme. Setting: Trump during a turkey-pardon. The turkey: "Goebbels, Goebbels Goebbels" Stupid

I … Unicode

My id card has Roman numerals

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPTC... 5/4 baby!

She's so good at covering up, Trump calls her Pam Bondo.

When they go low, we throw rye.

Maybe he'll release the #epsteinfiles if we all start calling them Big Beautiful Trump Files...

The president: new Ballroom #vicepresident: JV Dance

When Dear Leader gets upset he throws a tan-Trump

At least we can be sure Elon isn't mentioned in the #Epstein files. If he were, he'd insist we call it The X-Files...

They're denying the existence of the list AND drawing attention away from its significance. Somehow this triggers the Mandela effect AND the Streisand effect simultaneously... effectively

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