I think I should be allowed to go outside naked and let myself be grabbed and groped by whoever wants me

Felt cute from the waist down today :3 #nudes #transnsfw #enbynsfw

Idk if I'll sound like an insane person for saying this, but having a hairless bootyhole really enhances the experience of using a bidet

My girlfriend does not like it when I have Skittles and a monster for breakfast

It never occurred to me until now, but I never actually found out if it was the bite of '87

FELIZ ANIVERSÁRIO VAGINA BONES

In the past, my manager has told me that I should not be working 12 hour shifts because some things can wait until tomorrow however, she never said a thing about 11 hours

Remember to verify the address before shipping your petrified statues!

John Harvey Kellogg was dumb as hell, eating granola just makes me want to jerk off more

Can science explain why it feels so good to lie in bed naked

I'm trying to learn about fighting games but every time someone says "wake up DP" I get so horny I pass out

If lesbian kissing is so good then how come there's no- holy shit

I can already tell the sleepy jerk off is gonna be good when I get home in the morning

Starting a list of things that are not meant to be erotic but definitely and inexplicably are. So far I have voice synthesizers breaking, operating a bolt action rifle, and most slow motion video.

30 minutes into watching Wanted (2008) and somehow curving bullets has been the most sensible thing I've seen on screen so far

Sometimes you wipe your ass and sometimes your ass wipes you. That's just how life works these days.

furry women's big penises. you agree. reblong

Just found out the block button just stops people from seeing or interacting with me and doesn't throw a physical cube at them

Having a certified Girl Penis™ moment rn

Is sleep deprivation fetish a thing? Have I conditioned myself by jerking off after long overnight shifts while I can barely keep my eyes open?

My favorite part of watching new players try monster hunter is seeing them realize you can customize your cat then meticulously recreating their pets. I sadly did not do that because Niko has been hunting with me longer than I've had my real cat who has no survival instincts and is scared of wind

I wonder how many people have jerked off to the Japanese google translate text to speech, because I am certain the number is not zero.

The fact that native Americans are/were called Indians really makes you wonder how long it took for Columbus to realize he wasn't in India

Today is national eggs Benedict day, national get to know your customers day, national orchid day, and national banana day. I think as a society, we should have higher standards for what constitutes a holiday.

Has scratching an itch ever in the history of humanity actually made the itch go away?

Still one of the funniest bits in the entire game imo

turtle neck? oh you mean a neck? just a glimpse at how uncircumcised my mind has become

You see... MOO! 🐄❤️

Kinky middle manager: I put the P in KPI

An unbelievably Cute, Lovely and Beautiful Transsexual Woman. 16 Hours of Video

I want to be thrown through a breakaway glass window. And before you ask, yes in a sexual way, but also in an action movie way. Both at the same time if a second pane of glass is outside the budget.

I think dueling should be legal. I don't think people should do it, or that is almost ever justified. But on an ethical level I do believe in consensual violence.

Can someone Bridget 6H me then convert to a tod? I think that might fix me

1 like and I post hole

Video games be like "we need to go through the sewer"

Any heinous villains in need of a henchperson? I can't do much, but I can probably stall for time as an early game mini boss or something. Maybe put me in the prologue to make sure the hero just barely fails to prevent an inciting incident?

This isn't just a footjob to me, it's a foot way of life

What moral framework is most applicable to flipping off animals because you think it's funny. Like, it's a rude gesture, but they don't know so no harm is done. Also I do not mean it in an insulting way so does that negate the fact that I know it's rude?

I can accept that people use the word "literally" figuratively to exaggerate, but I would like a word that I can use to literally mean literal without the risk of being mistaken for saying the opposite of what I'm trying to say.

Repost if you love round tummy #irl #belly

There are few things in life that have zero downsides, but owning a bidet is one of them

Douglas Adams and xkcd are really similar in the fact that they both come off as smart and funny in their writing, but if I met someone who actually acted like that it'd be unbearable

Tetris is objectively the most attractive game to be good at

playing strip poker and I'm one bad hand away from getting a call from my parole officer about the status of my ankle monitor

I bought this hair removal cream and I used it instead of shaving yesterday and now I can't stop just touching my body all over it feels so smooth

I used to say "it's not x it's y" all the time, because contrast is useful for providing center and clarifying details. I don't say it anymore, and I'll never forgive ai for taking that away from me.