If I actually wanted to spend my time partying with concubines, it would be trivial for me to do so without the help of a creepy loser like Lü Buwei and I would still have 99% of my mind available to think about other things. But I don’t.

Ah, it's a *long*-life potion. It's the ultimate long life potion. And I think it puts everybody in a really good position, especially as it pertains to security & mercury & everything else. How long? Ah... infinite. There is no time limit. It's forever. You ever hear of a 仙? It exists forever...

And all we’re asking for is to get Ba-Shu, including right title and ownership, because you need the ownership to defend it. You can’t defend it on a lease. Legally, it’s not defensible that way. Totally.

Building the Great Wall, it's going to just by its very nature... going to be defending Yan. Yan gets a lot of freebies from us, by the way. They should be grateful also, but they're not. I watched your Crown Prince yesterday. He wasn't so grateful...

A very sad thing has befallen Great Qin. Han Fei, a tortured & struggling, but once brilliant thinker of Legalist thought, has passed away in one of E'Pang's dungeons, reportedly due to the anger he provoked in others through his massive, unyielding & incurable affliction...

Truly, it is the beneficent & virtuous empire that ensures that it's magnanimous police actions are all properly framed & shot for convenient video distribution! Auspicious!!

MANY GREAT LEGAL SCHOLARS AGREE THAT THE CONFUCIAN TRAITORS THAT TOLD THE MILITARY TO DISOEY MY ORDERS, AS DIVINE-THEARCH OF ALL UNDER HEAVEN, HAVE COMMITTED A CRIME OF GRAVE PROPORTION! THE HANJIAN THAT TOLD THE MILITARY TO DISOEY MY ORDERS SHOULD BE ENSLAVED AT THE WALL RIGHT NOW...

I don't care when the Court passes the Secretariat's Bill, whether tonight, or at some other time in the near future, I just don't want Legalists to take their eyes off all of the Victories that we've had, including THE GREAT BIG BEAUTIFUL WALL, Closed Borders No Men in the Inner Court

Sima Qian is suffering from an incurable case of Qin Derangement Syndrome (QDS). He was viewed last night in an uncontrollable rage, likely due to the fact that his "historical annals" is a Ratings DISASTER. Aside from everything else, Sima has no testicles, and he should be buried IMMEDIATELY!

Lightweight Prisoner Transport Officer Liu Bong (Because you'd have to be smoking Green Grass from your BONG to like this guy!), betrayed the entire Qin Empire when he turned Confucian, performed poorly on his trip to Mt. Li, and became the LION that we all know he always was...

Now that the Confucians are using the Xu Fu Hoax, involving Confucians, not Legalists, to try and deflect from their disastrous WRONGTHINK, and all of their other failures, I will be asking Chancellor Zhao Gao, and the Ministry of Justice...

While mercury prices have dropped substantially, the price of Great Wall construction has gone up - therefore, you know that something is "fishy." We will get to the bottom of it very quickly, if there is criminality, those people responsible will pay a steep price!

If Confucian Candidate Liu Bei win the Succession for Sovereign of the Empire, it is highly unlikely that I will be contributing Ancestral Blessings, other than the very minimum as required, to my beloved first home...

REMAIN IN SINGLE FILE! DO NOT STEP OUT OF LINE! YOU WILL EACH GET YOUR TURN!

AUSPICIOUS!! Be sure to send enough nubile virgins!

THE CONFUCIAN SECRET POLICE PLACED 274 BARBARIANS INTO THE CROWD AT THE DAZEXIANG UPRISING. If this is so, which it is, a lot of very good officials will be owed big posthumous apologies. What a SCAM - DO SOMETHING!!! Emperor QSH

Based on the Statement just issued by Modu Chanyu, I believe they are ready for a lasting PEACE. Xiongnu must immediately stop the raiding of Tuntian colonies, so that we can get the Huaxia out safely and quickly!

THE CONFUCIANS WANT TO GIVE YOUR MERCURY TO ILLEGAL BARBARIANS AND OPEN OUR BORDERS TO THE BANDITS OF THE STEPPES.

After getting to know and fully understand the Ba/Shu Military and Economic situation and, after seeing the Economic trouble it is causing Shu, I think Ba, with the support of Chu, is in a position to fight and WIN all of Ba back in its original form. ...

There are parts of the world that don't take immortality elixirs. There's a rumor, and I don't know if it's so or not, that Nan Yue, they don't have mercury because they don't have the money for mercury, and they have virtually no autism. Okay? Tell me about that one!

And they have to move quickly. When the alternative is that nothing bad can happen, let's do it not. I was just saying to Zhao Gao & the group, "Let's do it now." Nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen.

"NO CLEAR ANSWERS ON WHETHER QIN SHI HUANG SEAL-STAMPED THE ORDER TO BURN BOOKS & BURY SCHOLARS"! TOTAL & COMPLETE EXONERATION!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

More than 15 Trillion jin of bronze will be given as tribute to Qin, a RECORD. Much of this investment is because of Mandateof Heaven. If a Radical Ruist Court is allowed to terminate this Mandate, almost all of this tribute, and much more, will be immediately cancelled!

NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE. Also, XIANYANG IS A CRIME FREE ZONE! Emperor QSH

A Statement from Ying (Zhao) Zheng, Supreme Temporal Lord & Divine Thearch of the Qin Dynasty of the Huaxia Civilization: Iron & salt will not be Tariffed!

Zhao Gao, a registered Legalist, has the "HOTTEST" ad out there. It's for Imperial Castration, & the cocks are "flying off the groins." Go get 'em, Zhao! On the other side of the ledger, Confucianism did a stupid, & seriously FILIAL moral remonstration, THAT IS A TOTAL DISASTER!

After many yrs Goguryeo has agreed to accept Qin Sorghum! For a long time, & even though we are great friends, they actually banned our Grain. Now, we are going to sell so much to Goguryeo because this is undeniable & irrefutable Proof that Qin Grain is the Safest & Best in 天下!

My statement on the Steppe Fearsome Slaves has totally blown up, but only in a very positive way. I may put a restriction on them that if they don't change the name back to the original "Donghu," and get rid of the ridiculous monker, "Xiongnu," I won't let them pay Tribute.

The Northern Steppe "Whatever's" should IMMEDIATELY change their name back to the Steppe Eastern Hu Barbarian Confederation. There is a big clamoring for this. Likewise, Yue, one of the original regions of Chu, with a storied past.

What’s going on with my “男s” &, in some cases, “太监s?” They’re all going after Grand Chancellor Zhao Gao, who is doing a FANTASTIC JOB! We’re on one Team, MQGA, & I don’t like what’s happening.

I am saddened to watch Chen Sheng & Wu Guang go completely "off the rails," essentially becoming REBELS over the past five weeks. They even want to start a New Dynasty, despite the fact that they have never succeeded in the Empire - the System seems not designed for them.

As Immortal Divine-Sovereign of Great Qin, I'm not going to let this Confucian Lunatic destroy Yan. Rest assured, I hold all the mercury, and I have all the pottery warriors. I'll save Yanjing, and make it "Hot" and "Legalist" again, just like I did with Good Ol' Qin!

We have just been informed that Xiongnu, a very difficult Tribe to TRADE with, including the fact that they have raided our Tiantian farmers as much as 400%, for years, on Sorghum Products, has just announced that they are putting a Plunder Tax on our Qin Wallbuilders...

THE BA AND THE SHU HAVE BEEN FIGHTING SO LONG THAT THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE DOING ANYMORE, THEY NEED TO CALM DOWN!!

CHU is not going to attack Yue. All cavalry will turn around and head home, while doing a friendly "Pony Wave" to Yue. Nobody will be hurt, the Tranquility is in effect! Thank you for your attention to this matter! YING ZHENG, DIVINE-SOVEREIGN OF GREAT QIN

XIONGNU. DO NOT RAID THOSE FRONTIER AGRICULTURAL TUNTIAN HAMLETS. IF YOU DO IT IS A MAJOR VIOLATION. BRING YOUR HORSE-ARCHERS HOME, NOW! YING ZHENG, DIVINE-SOVEREIGN OF GREAT QIN

It's not politically correct to use the term "Lost the Mandate of Heaven," but if the current Zhou regime is unable to MAKE HUAXIA GREAT AGAIN, why wouldn't Heaven have revoked its Mandate??? MHXGA!!!

We have completed our very successful attack on the three sites in Zhao, including Anyang, Ye, & Liaoyang. All cavalry are now outside of Zhao borders. A full payload of arrows was dropped on the primary site, Anyang. All horses are safely on their way home. ...

I don’t think there’s a single serious Taoist who says mercury elixirs are not useful? The concerns I see are about blood toxicity, worker suffering, environmental effects, or necromantic curses. But that’s all predicated on the idea that it *does* work, often too well for people to manage…

We know exactly where the so-called "King of Chu" is hiding. He is an easy target, but is safe there - We are not going to take him out (kill!), at least not for now. But we don't want arrows shot at peasants, or Qin soldiers. Our grace is wearing thin. Thank you for your attention to this matter!

UNCONDITIONAL CASTRATION!!!

I have not reached out to Qi for “Peace Talks” in any way, shape, or form. This is just more HIGHLY FORGED, FAKE EDICTS! If they want to talk, they know how to reach me. They should have taken the deal - Would have saved a lot of lives!!!

Our great 农民 and people at the 商民 have been stating that our very aggressive policy on barbarian resettlement is taking very good, long time bondservants away from them, with those slaves being almost impossible to replace.

OUR DEAL WITH XIONGNÜ IS DONE, SUBJECT TO FINAL APPROVAL WITH MODU CHANYU AND ME. FULL CINNABAR, AND ANY NECESSARY RARE ALCHEMICAL REAGENTS, WILL BE SUPPLIED, UP FRONT, BY TRIBUTE MISSION. LIKEWISE, WE WILL PROVIDE TO XIONGNÜ WHAT WAS AGREED TO…

A once great Huaxia City, Ji, has been invaded and occupied by Illegal Barbarians and Bandits. Now violent, insurrectionist mobs are swarming and attacking our Imperial Agents to try and stop our deportation operations - But these lawless riots only strengthen our resolve.

The easiest way to save money in our Budget, Billions and Billions of Cash-Strings, is to terminate Xu Fu’s Family, Subordinates and Contacts! I was always surprised that King Zhuangxiang didn’t do it!

Xu Fu was “wearing thin,” I asked him to leave, I took away his Boat Mandate that forced everyone to buy Seafaring Ships that nobody else wanted (that he knew for months I was going to do!), and he just went CRAZY & sailed off with my virgins!

No matter who you put it in, all shall serve the State. #PrideMonth

I see that Highly Overrated Xu Fu goes to a Foreign Immortal Island to speak badly about the Divine Sovereign of Great Qin. Never liked him, never liked his boats, or his Radical 5,000 Virgins and, importantly, he’s not a talented guy — just a pushy, obnoxious JERK…

Has anyone noticed that, since I said “I HATE SIMA QIAN,” he’s no longer “HOT?”