Just been reminded of this heartwarming picture of a rabbit and an eagle. Morning all

So love wobbegongs. Everything is good about the wobbegong. Its name. Its flattened Oscar the Grouch face. Its frondy bits. Its lazy life as a hungry rug. And it’s a shark. Outstanding animal 10/10

This reminds me of the Stephen Wright gag: "I wanted my first word as a baby to be 'quote' so my last word could be 'unquote' and then my whole life was in parentheses."

Waiters, in this day and age, when I ask for the bill, bring the bill AND the card machine so I can pay it and leave. Don't dump the bill on the table and then wander off

This is Kaia. She takes road safety very seriously. Encourages you to do the same. 13/10 please buckle pup (TW: lyss121 & leleleems)

Not speaking to Green party policies per se, but legalising drugs is not a bad idea and anyone arguing it means "selling them outside schools" is plainly disingenuous. Prohibition doesn't work. Regulating, and taxing, them like cigs and alcohol means better safeguards, and more money for treatment.

Who has made this 🤣

I feel compelled to write a review thread 🧵 for The Liz Truss Show because in the madness of the content, other aspects - vital aspects - are being missed. 1. The Aesthetics Unless they were aiming for "Harley Street urologist waiting room circa 1992" this interview area is just unacceptable. 1/

choo choo, motherfucker

My dad abhors any negative comments about immigrants. Asked him recently why he’s so strong on it: ‘Because we’re always happy to take the rich and clever ones. Which means it’s not about disliking immigrants. It’s about disliking the poor and vulnerable. And that’s a bad human instinct.’

“So your new carol is just eight verses of you demanding figgy pudding with increasing hostility.” “That’s right.” “And it’s called We Wish You A Merry Christmas?” “Yes” “Buts it not really about Christmas is it? It’s mostly about figgy—“ “—figgy pudding yeah.”

I’ve never seen the two of them together in the same room before. Just say’n.

Fuck you of you think trans rights should be sacrificed "for the good of democracy". The anti democracy machine is the anti-trans machine. Get that through your skulls.

Best drinking it straight from the can, if you put it in glasses it's unrecognisable.

“And what is the charge? Eating a seal? A succulent Chinese seal? GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS!”

I refuse to believe this is a real guy. No one’s *that* Australian

the two Christmas moods #SaturdayKitchen

But still doesn’t beat the fact that Cleopatra is closer to us in time than she was to the building of the Great Pyramid.

Many libraries work with Borrow Box and your library card allows you to download audiobooks, kids titles too. All paid for by your taxes, wonderful stuff. www.borrowbox.com

Mere words are not enough to convey how ecstatic this makes me feel

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD USE HYPHENS

Leicester Square suggests tourist trap. He should just reopen Fifteen, which actually had a good reputation and wasn't loss making iirc, just dragged down with the Titanic

A great year’s listening! @herring1967.bsky.social @originstorypodcast.bsky.social @alwaysbecomedy.bsky.social @mrjamesob.bsky.social

And have you noticed a big uptick in “benefits” stories at the moment? Probably completely unrelated(🤔) to the fact we’ve had the longest run with no small boat crossings for 2 years, and the latest immigration stats are down at pre-pandemic levels… They’ve gotta find a scapegoat somewhere🙄 9/9

In a surprise to absolutely no one, the mum she’s describing is not claiming benefits as a “lifestyle choice”. This paywalled article is full of “in my grandparents day, blah blah blah” and nasty sneery comments about latest iPhones for spoilt children🙄 🧵 1/9

The one good billionaire being the lady who got divorced tells us so much about everything really

HBOMax has started showing a 'remastered' 4K Mad Men and they’ve messed things up so during Roger’s oyster vomit scene you can now see the crew men with the vomit hose on the right

Trump’s falling asleep while waiting for an update on the Batman problem

who decided to call it Secret Santa when Nondisclosure Claus was right there

Considering shirts still require ironing as soon as they come out of the packet, there is absolutely no need for the excess packing clips and plastic strips and paper. Absolute waste of time

9th Jan

The Pope has a word with the man in 27E who is listening to an action movie on his iPad's speakers.

“We need an image to go alongside the gig promo” “Oh, just get AI to do it” “Alright, how’s this” “Looks fine to me” (This was ACTUALLY used on a Facebook post)

A snow (or sleet) shower approaching Upper Loch Torridon from the north west about an hour ago.

“Youse on my patch now. You play nice, you get Vatican City. You disrespect me, it’s BATican City… understood?”

Watching Peter, from the sea shore, she became inspired to sell sea shells. Above, a red lorry and and yellow lorry drove past. And in the distance, trying to hide from view, a plucker of pheasants started his work.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper, oblivious to the fact that he was about to make tongue twister history.

Every case study like this should be balanced by one such as a 15-year-old with suicidal ideation unable to receive any help because CAMHS has been cut to virtual non-existence.

“Get out of my fucking seat.”

Imagine posing for a photographer friend who sells your image to iStock and a year later, you see this is what The Washington Post has done with the image of you walking on a beautiful fall day

There's something mesmerising about Badenoch's combination of supreme intellectual confidence and "Jesus? Didn't he play for Real Madrid?" command of detail. It's like somebody spliced the certainty of Margaret Thatcher with the work ethic of Boris Johnson.

Fascinating that the cash ISA limit is the most unpopular item in the budget. I would have thought it would be unpopular but not more so than e.g. freezing tax thresholds.

Biggest laugh of the day, over and over again.

If divorced dads whose kids don't see them could go back to dressing up in superhero outfits and climbing up buildings instead of ushering in fascism I think we'd all be better off quite frankly.

Weird the way the entire world went mad and only the creator of the IT Crowd was unaffected.

They’re escargont

Investigators think that they are being sold through a shell company

Did they leave a trail?

Wife told me not to defrost the freezer with a screwdriver and a hammer. I knew better. £500 later and we have the exact same one as before but newer. She cant believe the job ive done "cleaning it". Broken one is now in next door's garage until I figure out how to get rid. Help