Wizards goofed up, which means we goofed up. Please accept our apologies by reading the article below:

"I saw one of a guy in a Chris Pronger sweater stomping on a guy's leg over and over, and come to find out that wasn't even about Pokémon and it was actually just game footage of Chris Pronger."

"Are you a good helper? Would you like to help check which Fascist Busytown families are following the rules? Start with your neighbors and escalate quickly, so that Sam and Dudley’s detective agency and the courts will have trouble keeping up."

"I just don't think a company would force their own OC into a profitable system like this. It seems like, extra risky, and shareholders hate risk. So like, doesn't it make a lot more sense if it's, like, from a novella that both us have never heard of?"

"When I heard the news, I couldn't believe it," wrote TJToeJam on r/mtgfeet. "Finally, some new flavor for my Big Stompies deck." Other users quickly chimed in, equally fawning over the selection of goodies. "Footbottoms, tonight we FEAST!!!" replied HotInToePekah. His post received 3 upvotes.

"They're taking the water right out of our land, our country, and now our decks. If it wasn't for the tax incentives given to wealthy people in town that I so desperately want to be, I'd have half a mind to tear that damn data center down."

DHS Warns Any Action By Americans Will Be Treated As Domestic Terrorism

"It's not about us wanting a Sol Ring that looks like it was drawn by Picasso, or a new set of mechanically unique planeswalker cards based on the cast of Friends, though we'd gladly pay for them. We just want to be sure our favorite cardboard-printing company is feeling alright."

This hasn't stopped others from exploring their trade options. Earlier this weekend, a deal that would have dealt the card for two future first-round draft picks was shot down by league officials, saying it would be an unfair advantage at Wednesday Night Cube.

No satire here, this is just genuinely pleasant.

For those of you looking to net deck your personality, we've assembled some resolutions to help you briefly improve before going back to your usual vices in a few weeks.

"I often try to assign the Communist Manifesto to my students, which is supposed to be the layman's version, but they can't even handle that. So when they start turning in essays on the political history of Shandalar, I just shrug and let it happen. At least they're listening to SOMEONE."

this is what I'm running for those of you asking. probably Aether Syphon should be replaced by a couple more bounce spells -- if you get Hope out, play Riverchurn on T3, and then play a T4 Space-Time Anomaly, you're probably very close to closing the deal.

Remember, even your favorite indie folk band loves mill; it's inescapable.

"I've purchased a few concert poster Secret Lairs to act as my exam charts. My elderly customers are a little confused by them, but that's only because they're used to reading Revised cards."

We put out at least one awesome article last year, so let's look back at the Best Of Commander's Herald 2025! Peer deep into the veils of the past and witness: commandersherald.com/wizards-of-t...

Today is the last day that you can repost this image

It's the quiet comfort of knowing that nothing is ever truly gone. And, if we're honest, it's the sometimes problematic enjoyment of watching our friends squirm. Don't worry, I'm not here to shame you.

We put out at least two wonderful articles this year, so let's look back at the Best Of Commander's Herald 2025! For your viewing pleasure may I present: commandersherald.com/due-to-fcc-r...

We put out at least three spectacular articles this year, so let's look back at the Best Of Commander's Herald 2025! Let's continue the countdown with: commandersherald.com/report-wizar...

We put out at least four amazing articles this year, so let's look back at the Best Of Commander's Herald 2025! Next up is: commandersherald.com/magic-the-ga...

We put out at least five great articles this year, so let's look back at the Best Of Commander's Herald 2025! We'll start with: commandersherald.com/taylor-swift...

have been following this account since the old days and this is the best one I’ve ever seen. My God. “You’re about to extend your style to your hairstyle” is like a fortune teller roasting his client

"My God, man, it's bad enough I have to deal with your destitute nonsense on the clock, only to have to face you once again when I come to this gaming parlor! Do you know what it took for me to get this deck together?"

"These decks, containing the same cards but with different names, will definitely appeal to those that love the holidays and do not like diversity."

The press release comes hot on the heels of the release of the second season of Amazon's Fallout streaming show, which would've been a great time to release reprints of the Universes Beyond: Fallout set.

"I mean, it just makes sense, right? All the heroes have to do is get him more and more angry. We've been having Mark Ruffalo get into character by stepping on Lego bricks all morning."

"Battling product fatigue for so long really took it out of him. A few years back, some other kid in his ward used their Make-A-Wish to ask them to make more Magic cards. Should've known it'd be a monkey's paw situation."

Here's a great way to save some money this holiday season, you filthy animals!

"I use some extra draft chaff to see into people's personal lives and glean what I can using my gift of Foresight. The problem is whatever I do, all I see is people throwing their money into a fire or spending $250 on a pauper deck."

"Pete was just bad at the game. Like, every time he scored a hit, he'd guess the exact same square again the next turn. Which was odd because he also cheated constantly, leaning over to my side to peek."

While cuffing is typically a term reserved for romantic couplings, experts say this type of pop-culture coupling during the winter season is increasingly common. Other examples include re-downloading Final Fantasy XIV or binge-watching critically acclaimed sitcoms from the 1970s.

"Mere hours after releasing their planned second chapter for Lorwyn Eclipsed, a multiversal sized shadow was cast over the set's moment when the first round of Marvel Super Heroes were spoiled."

"The WOTC fix is in. This was always going to happen when Universes Beyond was allowed to go unchecked. I haven't been happy since 1996."

WE ARE ALSO LOOKING FOR PHOTOSHOP-LITERATE PEOPLE on top of the new crop of great writers we just signed on. If you're interested, fill out the form below and indicate your image-altering prowess and we'll contact you soon!

"If you think about it, the King James Bible was the first errata. I see your Geralf's Messenger has undying, just like a certain friend of mine. Oh, Parallel Lives multiplies your Food tokens? Hmm, reminds me of some loaves and fishes."

"Its rules are taken nearly verbatim from an older card game, known as Euchre, made for a subset of a standard deck of playing cards. This revelation was brought forward after Aunt Eileen offered to teach us the original game following Thanksgiving dinner."

While it remains unclear how they mechanically fit into the new set's theme, there's no doubt Bullshit fits nicely with the overall direction of Standard.

Perfect juxtaposition

They gotta at least drag it over to the skate park at the UN plaza so people can replicate the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater SF level.

"I wiped the dust off of the dilapidated cardboard deckbox and caressed the dog-eared Dragon Shields I sleeved the precon with all the way back in 2012. I could tell they were excited to be out again, I just wish it wasn't for the last time."

"Mhmm, yes, I am single legendary creature," Rograkh said while stumbling around in comically oversized sleeves. "Am a Goblin with many keyboards, just like Dockside."

"I've seen some things in my day. Loyal dogs trampled by giants, and beloved heroes reanimated from their graves. But there was just something evil about the glee in his eyes when he tapped for one red."

This Black Friday weekend, try and find as many sales as you can on this incredibly under-rated card, you (and I) won't be disappointed!

Satire makes the world go 'round

"At first I thought I said something that might be upsetting to Brett. On the contrary, Brett's face lit up and became quite animated as he began talking, most of which I didn't understand."

"The pony kicked him right in the ass, and he fell straight into the rest of the cake. Went right through the folding table WWE style. Everyone was laughing at this tiny, cute thing terrorizing him. Poor guy told the pony 'I yield! I yield!' I wanted to help, but I was just laughing too hard."

"Nobody wants to buy anything except for rare cards, because they're starting to realize that Monopoly has never been fun to play and that the new generation of My Little Pony isn't as good as that other one. You know, the one with Rainbow Dash?"

"He believes that if he buys something cool someone else made and claims it's his, people will like him since that worked a few times in the past. But man, it's hard to claim you made a deck while we're literally watching you take the cellophane off the cards."