Broke my nail on a pistachio today

I used to like the dentist as a kid. I didn’t have a crazy fancy experience with toys or anything, but I enjoyed them cleaning my teeth. Now when I go to the dentist, they hurt me. The floss through my gums splitting them and I bleed!! I don’t even want to go anymore

I hate when people don’t believe me. Just. Trust. Me. I’m in it only for myself and so are you, DEAL!!!!!

Been hallucinating Minecraft cows getting killed, just the noises.

Zuzu, the dancer whose mom has cancer

It is HOW.

Trapped in a world powered by COFFEE🤤

They need to start making chameleons

Balling my eyes out of spiciness

There is no god no universe no angels

A peak into my lifestyle

It’s hot dog season

I wear socks to bed. Why? Cuz my toenails get stuck on my blanket

Decided to “treat myself” this Monday with a poutine……poutine ended up not being that great………think I’ll be be taking a poutine and social media break

The teeth compliment I received a few weeks ago has come to my brain thank u stranger

What’s your quarrel, Christian Borle?

Time to put up the christmas tree

My demons are joining my tonight like most nights

Why does Babyland General Hospital have to be so far from me😫

I wish everyone showered like I do

Sometimes at work I freak out because I realize my seat belt isn’t on. Then I breathe

Some thing they HATE is that I’ll never go away. Never going away

What’s a song you immediately get your groove on to? It’s okay to say ,”all”😆

You ever fart in back of the taxi?? And open the window too

Your ever give your girl a hug and your hair gets stuck to her lip gloss

You ever give your girl a hug and her hair gets all stuck to your lip gloss

Little birdies always telling me things

Sure, Jim Carey has the Grinch; well, Tom Hanks has the Conductor.

The conductor from the polar express is DEFINITELY the grinch when he’s grown up. Prove me wrong

Who else is fuming with regret

I miss blanking my blank

Life is a two way street, and both lanes are busy.😏

It’s sucks to suck speaking from experience

Sometimes people don’t want to talk about the beauty of humanity and nature with me

Please give me credit if you repost/report!!

I used to watch those videos of soldiers coming home and ball my eyes out. Now, I’m the toughest cookie to crack. Try me

What’s your quarrel Christian Borle?

I wish I could’ve seen Obama audition

Rod Stewart took my DNA today..

Wish I had rocks for hands…

Breaking hearts. They are all my own! I have so many hearts

We will never escape

I hate holden

I’m mad

Being a dad, it’s, well… it’s definitely a journey. And, I’ll say it.. an adventure! There’s no rule book.

Happy Canada day

My farts smell like weed

I’m done clowning around.

I need to go to Canada I belong there

A month from today I’m gonna be thinking back to when I was thinking about a month from today