I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did. Sir Terry Pratchett

"What're them fat saggy things on that shield?" "Those are the royal hippos of Ankh," said the man proudly. "Reminders of our noble heritage." 𝒢𝓊𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈! 𝒢𝓊𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓈!

Susan was very strict about eating in class and took the view that, if there were rules, then they applied to everyone, even her. Otherwise they were merely tyranny. But rules were there to make you think before you broke them. Thief of Time

"And he goes around killing people?" said Mort. He shook his head. "There's no justice." Death sighed. NO, he said,... THERE'S JUST ME. 𝑀𝑜𝓇𝓉

He’s going to have to learn the hard way. And the trouble with the hard way is, you only get one lesson. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩

A flash of inspiration struck him with all the force and brilliance that ideas have when they’re traveling through beer. The Last Continent

There would be a price. And Granny knew enough about wizardry to be certain that it would be a high one. But if you were worried about the price, then why were you in the shop? 𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘙𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴

The crowds were still outside. Religion had ruled in the Old Kingdom for the best part of seven thousand years. Behind the eyes of every priest present was a graphic image of what would happen if the people ever thought, for one moment, that it ruled no more. 𝒫𝓎𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒾𝒹𝓈

The Empire's got something worse than whips, all right. It's got obedience. Whips in the soul. They obey anyone who tells them what to do. Interesting Times

Putting up a statue to someone who tried to stop a war is not very, um, statuesque. Of course, if you had butchered five hundred of your own men out of arrogant carelessness, we'd be melting the bronze already. Jingo

"It could be worse," he said by way of farewell. "It could be me." 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄

No one remembers the singer. The song remains. 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝐿𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝐻𝑒𝓇𝑜

He believed in coincidence a lot more than he did in magic. 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑻𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒔

Musicians were often short of money; it was one definition of a musician. 𝒮𝑜𝓊𝓁 𝑀𝓊𝓈𝒾𝒸

"I suppose there's not some kind of magic you don't know about?" "If there is, we don't know about it." 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝓅𝑒𝓇 𝑀𝒶𝓃

"'Tis not right, a woman going into such places by herself." Granny nodded. She thoroughly approved of such sentiments so long as there was, of course, no suggestion that they applied to her. Wyrd Sisters

The entire priesthood was sitting around it and watching it carefully, in case it did anything amusing or religious. 𝑬𝒓𝒊𝒄

"We’ve always been privileged, you see. Privilege just means ‘private law.’ That’s exactly what it means." 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩

Freedom just means being told what to do by someone different. Interesting Times

He'd looked at its ramshackle organisation, such as it was, with the eye of a lifelong salesman. There seemed nowhere in it for him, but this wasn't a problem. There was always room at the top. 𝑀𝑜𝓋𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒫𝒾𝒸𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒𝓈

"You mean you don't know it's true?" said Brutha. "I think it might be," said Didactylos. "I could be wrong. Not being certain is what being a philosopher is all about." 𝘚𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘎𝘰𝘥𝘴

Time and space were, from Death's point of view, merely things that he'd heard described. When it came to Death, they ticked the box marked Not Applicable. It might help to think of the universe as a rubber sheet, or perhaps not. 𝘏𝘰𝘨𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳

"I've never seen Death actually at work." "Not many have," said Albert. "Not twice, at any rate." 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒕

The soup of the afternoon. Yes. In which may well be found the croutons of teatime. 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘺

In Ghat they believe in vampire watermelons, although folklore is silent about what they believe about vampire watermelons. Possibly they suck back. Terry Pratchett

All this was logical. It just wasn't very comforting. 𝒥𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑜

Questions don't have to make sense, Vincent... But answers do. 𝒯𝒽𝒾𝑒𝒻 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒

"But I don't believe in reincarnation!" he protested. SQUEAK. And this, Mr. Pounder understood with absolute rodent clarity, meant: Reincarnation believes in you. 𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒆

I reckon that Stonehege was build by the contemporary equivalent of Microsoft, whereas Avebury was definitely an Apple circle. Terry Pratchett

He lay back and smiled. It was never too late to have a good life. 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘳 𝘔𝘢𝘯

The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out. 𝓦𝔂𝓻𝓭 𝓢𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼

In short, Mort was one of those people who are more dangerous than a bag full of rattlesnakes. He was determined to discover the underlying logic behind the universe... which was going to be hard, because there wasn't one. 𝑀𝑜𝓇𝓉

The only reason for walking into the jaws of Death is so's you can steal his gold teeth. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘔𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘤

"You're a musician, ain't you?" said Glod. "What do you think you do?" "I hits ‘em with the hammers," said Lias, one of Nature's drummers. Soul Music

"You know I’ve always wanted a paperless office—" "Yes, Archchancellor, that’s why you hide it all in cupboards and throw it out of the window at night." The Truth

Knowing how stories work is almost all the battle. 𝒲𝒾𝓉𝒸𝒽𝑒𝓈 𝒜𝒷𝓇𝑜𝒶𝒹

"I can't hear anything," said Nijel loudly. Nijel was one of those people who, if you say "don't look now", would immediately swivel his head like an owl on a turntable. Sourcery

"'Tis not right, a woman going into such places by herself." Granny nodded. She thoroughly approved of such sentiments so long as there was, of course, no suggestion that they applied to her. 𝓦𝔂𝓻𝓭 𝓢𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓼

It wasn’t that they didn’t take an interest in the world around them. On the contrary, they had a deep, personal and passionate involvement in it, but instead of asking "why are we here?" they asked "is it going to rain before the harvest?" 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓹𝓮 𝓙𝓾𝓰𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓶

I do note with interest that old women in my books become young women on the covers... this is discrimination against the chronologically gifted. Sir Terry Pratchett

"In all, I've had seventeen demands for your badge. Some want parts of your body attached. Why did you have to upset everybody?" 𝓕𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝔂

It wouldn't make a lot of difference, evidence never did once you were in the deep levels where accusation had the status of proof, but at least it might leave one or two inquisitors feeling that they might just have been wrong. 𝒮𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝒢𝑜𝒹𝓈

It was said that life was cheap in Ankh-Morpork. This was, of course, completely wrong. Life was often very expensive; you could get death for free. 𝑷𝒚𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒅𝒔

A month went by quickly. It didn't want to hang around. 𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘗𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘴

The path to wisdom does, in fact, begin with a single step. Where people go wrong is in ignoring all the thousands of other steps that come after it. 𝘏𝘰𝘨𝘧𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳

A key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs. Wyrd Sisters

LORD, WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT FOR THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN? Reaper Man

You scrimped and saved to send them to the best schools, and then they went and paid you back by getting educated. 𝒫𝓎𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒾𝒹𝓈

"I know that type," said Didactylos. "All holy piety in public, and all peeled grapes and self-indulgence in private." 𝑺𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝑮𝒐𝒅𝒔

Gentlemen, no fighting please. This is, after all, a council of war. 𝒥𝒾𝓃𝑔𝑜