Just walked about a mile and a half to get my car from the shop and now I'm acting like I should be standing on a podium about to get a medal placed around my neck. Moral of the story: I need to walk more.

@eelaware.bsky.social this is shaping up to be one of the worst NBA finals ever. I want every team left to lose. lol So since I have zero dogs in this fight good luck to you and your *gulp* Knicks.

Had a post go a little "viral" today and I realized that it upsets me. Lol I'm on social media but I don't like attention but the entire point of social media is to get attention. I make no sense.

For the record: if music sounds good to your ears then it's good music. Stop letting people tell you otherwise.

I can't not think of Norm Macdonald talking about being a guest on Comics Unleashed: Oh, you couldn't be more leashed.

It's odd that the subcompact car doesn't exist anymore. Ford Fiesta, Honda Fit, Chevy Sonic, etc. I read recently that there is now no such thing as a new car under $20,000. That seems effed up to me.

Btw, don't expect me to cheer for these MAGA cultists who have apparently seen the light. If it took you over 10 years to see who that fuckface really was then I don't know what to say. Being a 3 time Trump Chump should be a secret shame, like watching American Idol.

I hate when my only interest in the NBA playoffs is wanting one team to lose. "Vengeance is not enough."

OMG I don't care about what some random journalists think about Bluesky. I came here to get away from the endless stream of dunk posts and circle jerks. If you're spending your time on a social media platform arguing about the social media platform then maybe you need a break from the platform.

Okay, I just saw a Paranormal Activity stage play is coming to Boston in July and I think I might have to go. 👀

Still don't think Zohran Mamdani is a monster? Sources are reporting that Jeff Bezos had to switch to single ply toilet paper on his $500 million yacht.

Everyone involved in shutting down USAID should be charged with committing genocide.

I am a fierce defender of the first three Paranormal Activity movies. After those you can say whatever you want.

His job has never stopped him from going on golf weekends, but spending time with his son? Blecch!

I wouldn't say I'm a fan of steampunk, but it is the healthiest way to prepare punk.

Was at a concert and pulled out my lighter during the ballad and everyone turned their phones around and recorded me instead and called me an idiot.

I unironically love Bryan Adams' songs. Judge away...

Whenever I attempt a trying on clothes montage the store clerk yells at me to turn down the goddamn music.

Dang, I thought the Cavs were gonna steal one in NY.

How come I'm not excited about the new Steven Spielberg movie? Is something wrong with me?

Trump endorsed candidates are winning Republican primaries, in case you wondering if he still inexplicably has a stranglehold on the party.

You think zombies get pissed when the living people end up being the real monsters?

If all these Never Trump Republicans are genuinely wondering how they lost their party, maybe it was trying to paint (moderate Republican) Barack Obama as a reverse racist secret Muslim commie for 8 years. You radicalized your dumb voters into leaving you.

Okay @eelaware.bsky.social the universe has righted itself. I’m a giant Cleveland Cavaliers fan for the foreseeable future. Sorry.

If you were nodding your head and saying, "You know what? 'Groceries' IS an old fashioned term," then you were in a cult.

Yes I want the Democrats to win back the House and Senate in November, but I’m also fully braced for them to be profoundly disappointing when they do.

Watched episode two of The Devil in Silver. I’m into it, and it’s so much fun watching Judith Light chewing the scenery.

Every day the name of her show becomes more and more honest.

Starting to think I'm never getting my Trump phone. 😭

70 pages into Shirley Jackson's The Sundial and so far I'm loving it. The characters are all wonderfully awful people. Wasn't expecting so much humor.

I was right! A few weeks ago I went to the movies and the trailers were the usual upcoming summer garbage but the only one that looked even remotely interesting was The Sheep Detectives. And it's getting great reviews and I actually kinda wanna see it now.

“Best” and “favorite” aren’t always the same. For instance, The Departed probably isn’t Scorsese’s best film but I think it’s my favorite.

Was offered the role of James Bond but I had to turn it down because I'm working that weekend. Oh well, maybe next time.

I can't believe I'm having to defend Sydney Sweeney but here we are. News outlets are running with the story that people are outraged because her character on a TV show said a slur. Let me repeat that: her CHARACTER on a TV SHOW.

The next James Bond should be why don't we try creating new and original characters.

Wild to me that the Miranda rights weren't a thing until 1966. And also wild that the SCOTUS ruling barely passed 5-4. Apparently 4 Justices thought a person's rights were foolish.

Was recently singing the praises of the movie In Bruges, I love it so much, so I decided to look up Martin McDonagh's filmography and *gasp* in 2022 he teamed Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell up again in The Banshees of Inisherin?? Somehow I completely missed it! Will be watching it this weekend.

To paraphrase a Norm Macdonald joke: Critics are calling it everything from 'shit' to 'fucking shit.'

I don't speak about politics on social media much anymore because I know all of my opinions and beliefs are correct so what's left to say.

Loud obnoxious people seem genuinely surprised when you don't find them irresistably charming.

BREAKING: RFK Jr. giving hantavirus victims a steady dose of ketamine and ground horse penis.

I think my interest in social media is waning because I'm constantly exasperated by people irl so why on earth would I come here and be exasperated by people I'll never meet?

Just unfollowed a famous person because they don’t allow replies to their posts. Fuck off.

I tell people I’m a 7th Amendment advocate because it makes me sound smart and most people don’t care enough to actually look it up.

Slightly increase a band Foo Warriors

Checking myself for ticks after mowing the lawn like a terrorist secretly planted a bomb on me.

Watched the first episode of The Devil in Silver and it has a lot of promise. Read the Victor LaValle novel it’s based on years and years ago.

When are we going to call this what it is - elder abuse.

I never understood dip. I just like chips and crackers.

If the Democrats really want to win back control of the House and Senate they need to tell voters Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries will be demoted to the janitorial staff.