got asked about the dead pigeon on the roof outside my office window today. reacted too nonchalantly I fear

how do we get panda express to put dr pepper zero in the soda fountain

so embarrassing to grow up fat and only learn about all your other unattractive features after 25

Going off piste skiing at American Dream Ski bullshit, catch me carving down the escalator in front of the Mr Beast Burger

this is the most inspired hairstyle ever. real genius

haven’t been the same since I fell asleep in the sauna

toes squeezed intoski boots British lady that sounds like the queen Everything is romantic

an unbelievable display of confidence that this restaurant made these tots from scratch, in such a special, delicious, and unique manner that dignify them as “house”

Steve from SATC reading you your Miranda Rights

they’re just reading reddit posts on the radio now

naming my kid Amos after Famous Amos

suicide by milk if I keep eating these leftovers

girl from the talk tuah podcast at the thanksgiving parade smearing her damn lipstick

crazy things happening on the radio, going from Bed Chem to Break Your Heart (Taio Cruz and Ludacris) during commute hour