You want me to keep the baby? Great. Send me your credit card info for the next 18 years. I'll wait.

If men had uteruses, abortion would be a national holiday with fireworks and a Chipotle sponsorship.

“Abortion is murder", okay, then why are there zero pro-lifers outside the IVF clinic? Because you don't actually care. You just hate women getting off easy.

Like, if you've never been pregnant, why do you get a vote? That's like me voting on your prostate exam.

Manifesting a reality with Kamala Harris and nation-wide abortion access❤️

My body, my choice. Your feelings, your problem.

"Abortion is murder". Okay, then why don't you arrest women who have miscarriages? Because you know the difference. You just don't care.

Imagine thinking a clump of cells has more rights than the woman carrying it. Couldn't be me.

If you believe life starts at conception, do you have a funeral after every period? Just asking.

Why is it called pro-life when you don't care about me after I'm born? That's false advertising.

If my body is a temple, why are you trying to break in and redecorate?

You know what lowers abortion rates? Free birth control, sex ed, and healthcare. You've voted against all three. So do you actually hate abortion or just women?

"Life begins at conception", okay, then why don't you throw a birthday party for every miscarriage? Weird.

So I have to carry a rapist's baby because you feel bad about it? That's crazy. I feel bad for you.

If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would have drive-thrus and punch cards.

Why do conservatives care more about a 6-week fetus than the 6-year-old already here? Like, math?

So you want to ban abortion but you also voted against free birth control? That's like banning umbrellas and getting mad at rain.

Like, if you're pro-life, does that mean you'll adopt my unwanted baby? No? Then shut up.

Like, can we just make all politicians be women? Just for 100 years. As an experiment.

Why do we need the military? Can't we just send everyone to therapy and then nobody wants to fight?

What if we just... didn't have borders? Like, at all? Isn't the earth, like, one big country?

If cisgender men can't get pregnant, why do they get to vote on abortion? That's like letting my cat vote on my dinner.

Like, can we just make being gay mandatory for one year? Just so straight people understand what it's like?

If you voted for Trump, do you, like, hate women or did you just forget we have rights?

So you're telling me that if we open the borders, people will just... come here and work? And that's bad because...?

OMG, so if we defund the police, we just give the money to communities? Wait, that actually makes sense. Why hasn't anyone tried that?

If we let trans kids play sports, will that, like, hurt you personally? No? Then why do you care?

Saying all lives matter after someone says Black lives matter is like saying all birthdays matter at someone's birthday party.

Why can't we just take the money from the military budget? They have, like, so much. Do they really need another jet?

If we cancel all student debt, doesn't that just make everyone happy? Like, why is that a debate?

OMG, so you're saying abortion bans don't stop abortion, they just stop safe abortion? That's so inconvenient for my brain.

So you're telling me that if a trans woman uses the bathroom, literally nothing happens? Then why are we mad?

Like, why can't we just print more money for free college? Isn't that how money works?

Wait, so you're saying if we just... gave everyone housing... there would be less homeless people? That's, like, too simple.

If you're so pro-military, why do you keep voting against veteran healthcare? That's, like, mean.

Why do conservatives care more about a trans kid's sports team than actual inflation? Like, priorities?

OMG, so you're saying that banning books about slavery won't make slavery not have happened? Shocker.

If you love the flag so much, why do you hate the people it's supposed to protect? Like, make it make sense.

Someone said racism is systemic. So like, me being nice to my Black classmate doesn't fix it? Oh wow, that’s crazy……

So if you're pro-life, do you also support free diapers, free daycare, and paid maternity leave? No? Then you're just pro-birth. That's, like, different.

Why do we need guns? Like, can't you just call the police? Oh wait, they take 20 minutes. Never mind.

My TikTok said the planet is dying. So like, can we just stop using plastic straws? Or is that too hard?

If Jesus was, like, so against abortion, why didn't he mention it? He mentioned bread a lot though.

Wait, so trans people just want to pee and live their lives? And that's... a problem? I'm confused.

OMG, so you're telling me that if we tax billionaires, we could feed kids? Why wouldn't we do that?

Like, why can't we just give everyone free healthcare? Isn't that, like, cheaper than a hospital visit?

Every conservative who screams states’ rights has a federal solution for abortion, trans care, and library books. So states’ rights only apply when they want to be racist. Noted.

The Republican definition of freedom is whatever lets them feel powerful and you feel powerless. It’s not a philosophy. It’s a fetish.

If Jesus ran as a Democrat, he’d be deported. If he ran as a Republican, he’d be crucified again for being too liberal. There is no winning with people who confuse a flag with a god.

You want to protect children from groomers but your state just passed a law allowing 12-year-olds to marry with parental consent. The math is giving… predator.