Reading the Bible can make you Christian. Understanding the Bible will make you Atheist.

Does anyone actually think president Shitler will withdraw the military from Iran because of this war powers resolution?

Reflecting pool? Nah. It's the Strait of Warm Ooze.

Everything trump touches turns to shit. Then Republicans scoop it up and call it ice cream.

No leader who has won a war has ever paid the losing side $300B.

Josh Hokit bears a striking resemblance:

Three months after the Knicks won their last championship, the president of the US resigned in disgrace. Just sayin'.

Happy Obama Appreciation Day.

This just in: Jacob Misiorowski is not human.

Ever notice how MAGA needs no evidence to believe a lie, but endless amounts of evidence to believe the truth?

Considering it was spurs that saved him from Vietnam, why isn't trump rooting for them instead of the Knicks?

If Senile Satan is willing to attend the Knicks game tonight - while being surrounded on all sides by people who despise him - then he obviously doesn't need a billion dollar "ballroom" at all.

"Bad, Bad Leroy Brown"

In this day and age, peace and religion can never co-exist. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Will it be paid in $250 bills?

Senile Satan can stage as many assassinations as he wants. We're still not paying a penny for his "bawlroom".

Tulsi Gabbard has been recalled to the "Motherland". Putin will choose her replacement in due time.

A stopped clock is correct twice a day. Whereas, Donald Trump is correct twice in his lifetime: "Smart people don't like me." "I don't think about Americans' financial situation."

Trump just now: "I don't think about Americans’ financial situation." Yes, he literally said those exact words. Pass that on to everyone you know. Every Democrat should put it in their midterm advertisement. If that isn't the final nail in the Republicans coffin for midterms, I don't know what is

Facts. 💯

8+6+4+7 = 25 (th Amendment)

More people have seen the Epstein files than the Melania movie.

Multiple MAGA accounts tweeted simultaneously, demanding a bawlroom. How about we create ballrooms for each innocent kid that was gunned down in classrooms, churches and the like? That would actually be money well spent.

Melania Trump got her hooker panties in a twist this morning, when an obvious ghost writer using her Twitter account accused Jimmy Kimmel of "violent rhetoric" meant to"divide our country". Repeat after me - every accusation is a confession with this administration.

Nearly every weekend he golfs on a huge, wide open course. But he needs to build a ballroom for his "safety". That's security success for you.

Republicans clutching their pearls over Virginia and California conveniently always forget -

Since trump says that pic depicting him as Jesus Christ was actually him as a "doctor", here he is cosplaying as a plumber. ⬇️

After watching today's Budapest celebrations, I think we all need to invite JD Vance to visit all swing States here in the US before midterms, so hopefully his magic will work on us as well. 😁

Hungary is proof positive these lying dictatorship-loving assholes' days in power are numbered, and that people worldwide are sick of authoritarianism. Poor little baby trump soiled his Depends today, as his glass ego shattered in pieces. 7 months from now, the blue tsunami arrives. 🌊🌊

Trump's cognition includes automatically registering young men for the draft - something he dodged FIVE times, thanks to daddy. Oh, the irony.

Iran negotiations: Trump: Open the Strait of Hormuz, or we'll bomb you back to the Stone Age! Iran: How about we give you a 10-point plan in which you give us everything we want, plus the Strait? Trump: Deal! See America, this is why I'm the greatest negotiator ever! Where's my Nobel Peace Prize?

Great way to summarize trump.

Christians have been warning everyone about the antichrist for years and years - and when he finally shows up, they support him. Without reservation. Happy Easter.

Let us pray.

Lindsey Graham's new favorite sport.

No Kings ❌👑

I'll be using my black Sharpie and will cover it on every bill.

It's not the SAVE Act. It's not the SAVE America Act. It's the Save My Orange Ass Act.

My all-time favorite No Kings protest sign.

Congratulations to Emily Gregory and Brian Nathan for flipping two congressional state seats in the heart of ruby red Florida to blue tonight. 🔵🔵 Best of all, one of them took place right in trump's own backyard. Yes folks, even his own neighbors are sick of him. Keep the blue tsunami coming. 🌊🌊🌊

We actually live in a world where Iran's media is considered more reliable than the POTUS' social media. Thanks, trump.

This Robert Mueller tweet is EXACTLY what the world will be saying when it's this asshole's time.

This Robert Mueller tweet is EXACTLY what the world will be saying when it's this asshole's time.

A 5-time draft dodger just called NATO "cowards" for not wanting to help clean up his mess in the war he started. Every accusation is a confession.

0.00196% of athletes are transgender. 0.0000001% of votes come from undocumented immigrants. This is what MAGA obsesses over. Fuck the voter suppressing SAVE Act.

At this point, the war in Iran has gotten so bad for trump, he should consider releasing the entirety of the Epstein files to distract from it.

Bottom line: If Republicans were at all confident they could win the midterms, the SAVE America Act would not exist. Prove me wrong.

Bottom line: If Republicans were at all confident they could win the midterms, the SAVE America Act would not exist. Prove me wrong.

Replacing Kristi Noem with Markwayne Mullin is like shitting your pants, then running home to change your shirt.