That's about all I can be arsed with.

No one can be arsed to cook.

Not a massive amount of gratuitous violence today, apart from being twatted with this.

Wouldn't it be great if he passed away on new year's eve.

Yay, someone was celebrating ten past six on a Wednesday with a rocket.

I was trying to show the granddaughter how to do a Dalek impersonation using a plunger but she whacked me over the head with it and I've had to put it away.

Wordle 1,656 2/6 🟩⬜🟨⬜🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Unless something major happens tomorrow, the highlight of the year for me was talking to Stewart Lee about swans.

We're watching Bluey and I haven't been ambushed for over an hour.

Wordle 1,655 4/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 🟨🟨🟨⬜⬜ 🟨🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

I'm going to try and be more positive tomorrow and write a song about how my kids think I'm a cunt.

My latest hack is a short dry cough.

So R kid is now basically a carer. His partner has an incurable bone infection and can barely walk. He manages to do a day or two of work a week and is very much looking forward to his pension starting in the spring. Life can change very quickly and with very little notice.

I don't know whether to become a harbinger of doom for 2026 or a baked bean ramekin.

R kid has been round for a cuppa.

Wordle 1,654 5/6 ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜⬜🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Very poor.

We have the granddaughter for two days over new year. It'll be like a forty eight hour version of Kill Bill one and two, with Play doh and colouring in with felt pens as an aside.

Having a bit of Steely Dan.

Could you all get your Christmas BlueSky timesheets in for tomorrow evening. Thank you.

Less traditional roast this evening but the par boil is on.

The Christmas lights in Bishop’s Castle, Shropshire, are simple, sweet and beautiful

I mean it

I will only be performing Elvis numbers for the foreseeable future.

Wankers!

I had a baked Camembert for my tea. I had some sugar snap peas with it to undercut the unhealthiness

Briedom of speech ! I have a right to be cheesy.

With home made MUNCE meat.

Alpine fondue. It's probably got bits of Christmas tree in it.

Fire number two.

Better.

Sitting on the sofa with my coat on. I need to get logs from outside but it's far too cold to go outside.

I've noticed a packet of spuds in the fridge that commemorate the dolphin wars.

Watched Jaws last night. Didn't realise how funny it is.

If I was prime minister I'd.ake it law that everyone had to eat pudding straight away after dinner.

I'm having to wait for pudding so here's a picture of a camel while we wait.

Trifle for pudding.

Nordic Noir.

Ronnie and Reggie are in da house.

Off out for some bubble and squeak and mor alcohol.

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, we'll not have to...... put on the red light 🎶

Erm... I'm not sure,seems to be the right answer and I've won a bottle of wine.

Anyone got any jokes about going to the doctor's with a mince pie stuck up their arse?

I'm fucking stuffed.

I could eat a scabby dog!

They don't have a problem with the cats arse being stuck to the work surfaces. What do you say?

I'm fucking starving.

The lid fell off the salt and the spuds are well seasoned.

No par boil today.