There is a sphincter haunting Europe- the sphincter of fascism.

I have broken the customer's garage door.

This little piggy went to market and this little piggy didn't have a marker pen.

Wherefore art thou Wordle Wankers?

I've come out without a hot cross bun.

Wordle 1,749 2/6 🟩⬜🟨⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Dutch people can't say: the.

Can I run a hdi engine on vegetable oil?

I'm working tomorrow. In a bank holiday, I might add.

Who wants to tell me all about Todd Blanche?

Mrs Mo tells me that she went to see Sooty and Sweep this afternoon. Not even an invite.

If the chip shop is closed tomorrow I'll be very disappointed.

I quite liked Band On The Run but I think he should have stopped after that.

Had a really difficult morning trying to explain to an electrician what a broom is.

They've got hot cross buns in the shops already. Ridiculous.

✌️ Wordle 1,748 2/6 🟩⬜⬜⬜🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Cometh divan cometh the hour.

Who is your main suspect in all this?

Bank holiday on Monday. 😎

I need to fabricate a handrail in a garden that doesn't look like a handrail. Postcrete is acceptable.

I had a dream that I was Adrian Chiles and I resided in a ditch in some overgrown woods and wrote an article for The Guardian regarding correct tyre pressure on wheelbarrows in spring.

What good has everyone come from The Apprentice?

If you need me, I'll be cutting and crimping for the rest of the morning.

Morning. Apparently I'm an AI hater. Oh well, if the cap fits and all that 🙅

News night has gone downhill.

Laaavley

Gonna put a door in 'ere.

I'm demolishing stuff. It's very satisfying.

Wordle 1,746 3/6 🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Llandudno seems a bit far fetched, dunnit?

As would a new gearbox.

For 11 years my job was to make sure my college passed the next OFSTED inspection. It hurts me to admit it but pleasing OFSTED & improving education were rarely the same thing. Not really OFSTED’s fault. We all had to jump through the latest govt hoops which constantly changed. Abolish OFSTED NOW

I have tidied up the beard a little, cleared the area around my chops and shaved the itchy bit from under my chin.

Stop me and buy one!

Who needs Morocco when you have camel stickers?

The postman has come...er, I mean been.

It's only ten past ten, really.

I've lost all track of time!

What happened to The Ghost of Something Or Other? He seemed like a nice chap, not been around for a while.

This time yesterday it was only ten past seven!

As did Tom Holland.