@mamaspinkytoe.bsky.social
📤 220
📥 300
📝 4601
A wish is a dream is a smile Jesus Christ who writes this crap.
pinned post!
10 months ago
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Peace Corps? I thought you said the Pizza Corps. No, I don't want any.
about 9 hours ago
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I'm going estate shopping for not- prince Andrew. So far I've narrowed it down to Belmarsh, Frankland, Full Sutton, Cardiff, Stoke Heath, Brixton, Pentonville, Stafford, Shepton Mallet, Holloway, Wandsworth, or Wormwood Scrubs.
about 21 hours ago
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Donald Trump is our rapiest president.
about 21 hours ago
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All my cats should be famous.
about 21 hours ago
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If you can go to bed drunk and wake up sober, why can't you go to bed guilty and wake up forgiven?
about 21 hours ago
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The word of the day is . . .
about 21 hours ago
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Trump is the only president whose death will be reported with an exclamation point - TRUMP DEAD!
2 days ago
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Gold is the highest. Gold is the best. If Donald Trump is surrounded by gold, it means he is not a poopy pants.
2 days ago
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You can't have a gun without a note from your mother. If your mother's dead, tough titty.
2 days ago
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The word of the day is . . .
3 days ago
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There is no safe amount of egg nog.
3 days ago
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- I'm, like, hella smart. - I believe you. You sound hella smart.
4 days ago
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The word of the day is . . .
4 days ago
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- I think I'll go into the arts. - Anything in particular? - I don't know. Something rich people will pay for.
5 days ago
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Jennifer Lawrence has sex. Jennifer Lawrence dances drunk. Jennifer Lawrence has a mystical encounter with a horse. Jennifer Lawrence says "fuck yeah." This Jennifer Lawrence movie has it all.
5 days ago
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Ninety percent of the people in Oregon are just lost.
5 days ago
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Tuxedos come in three sizes - large, small, and chimp. If you order a small and it hangs loose, you probably should move down to chimp.
5 days ago
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Life is mostly doing the same things in different places.
5 days ago
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If the Beatles had been from Paris, we'd all be speaking French now.
5 days ago
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Outside shoes, inside shoes. We're Japanese now.
5 days ago
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Bugs, Heat, and Loose Women - the official motto of Texas
5 days ago
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American flag board shorts. Whiter than white.
5 days ago
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If I had a class of first graders, I would turn them into an AC/DC cover band.
5 days ago
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Agenda 1. Golf 2. Enshittify the White House
5 days ago
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I like the little hat, I like the little belt, I like the little Geschwaderstock he carries like a lovie, and I LOVE the color. The other people hanging around ruin the picture a little bit, though.
5 days ago
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The word of the day is . . .
5 days ago
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The difference between Laika and a lab animal is the publicness of the cruelty.
5 days ago
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This is MY Jewish space laser.
5 days ago
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Laika, Cricket, Peanut, Harambe.
5 days ago
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They have a space laser. You might want to be nice to them.
5 days ago
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The difference between the movies and Fox News is that in the movies Nazis are usually portrayed in an unfavorable light.
5 days ago
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No more beardos. No more dudes in dresses. - Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth
5 days ago
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If I say "Nazi trillionaire," everybody knows who I'm talking about.
6 days ago
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Rami Malek looks like Michael Shannon's ventriloquist's dummy. They really shouldn't be in the same movie together.
6 days ago
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The fat guy is Russell Crowe!
6 days ago
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Whenever Rami Malek first appears in a movie, I am compelled to spend the next ten minutes working out Rami Malek anagrams. I'm a malerk.
6 days ago
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1. Fortune cookies 2. Huggy Bear 3. Old copies of Collier's 4. The Rajneeshee Rumor Hotline
6 days ago
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All the boys in old yearbooks look like serial killers, and all the girls look like their victims.
6 days ago
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The word of the day is . . .
6 days ago
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It's an A.I. smoothie. It's got a million different ingredients and nobody know where any of them came from. Bottoms up!
7 days ago
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A ladybug looks like a crawly bug but it's really a flying bug.
7 days ago
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Of all the gin joints in all the world, you had to get herpes in mine.
7 days ago
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They lured me out with food.
7 days ago
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No forties or machetes. You're good. - ticket taker after checking my bag. Everybody's a comedian.
7 days ago
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At last a candidate who's not afraid to tell you where he stands, or where he will sit once elected to the bench.
7 days ago
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Feeble old man. - MTG whispering in the ear of DJT
7 days ago
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Jackalopes cannot reproduce sexually. They must RECRUIT.
7 days ago
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The word of the day is . . .
7 days ago
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The Oval Office corrupted (6, 2, 5)
8 days ago
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You could be eaten by a dog. You could be melted in a microwave. You could be exploded by a firecracker. If you were a G.I. Joe, you had it rough.
8 days ago
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