The word of the day is . . .

Sauvage. Because who doesn't want to smell like Johnny Depp.

Fig Newtons, the Hokey Pokey--now that's a party.

The word of the day is . . .

The word of the day is . . .

Baseball been berry berry good to me.

Fingerbang me, Corey.

My dream job? Sports editor of the Rajneeshee Rumor Hotline.

¿Dónde está la biblioteca? ¡¿DÓNDE ESTÁ LA BIBLIOTECA?! - Jack Ryan teaches Spanish

If you can play a theremin with your foot, you can get on Britain's Got Talent.

My ringtone is Melania saying "Faster, pussycat! Kill! Kill!"

Taco Bell has the most vulval menu. #SponsorablePost

Don't be fooled. Soylent Green Helper is just repackaged Hamburger Heloer.

In horse talk horse every horse other horse word horse is horse.

Would I suck your cock? Sir, I would be positively delighted to suck your cock. - Pam Bondi, Attorney General of the United States

The word of the day is . . .

Klibanesque? I think it's a compliment.

If your profile photo is booty shorts, I am probably not following you back.

I have never known anybody who moved to or from Tuscon, Arizona.

The word of the day is . . .

True Thing My niece bought the local Hells Angels bar AND KICKED THE ANGELS OUT.

- Like Ron Johnson's obtuseness, 13 letters. - Preternatural. - Thank you, dear.

I wonder if you could make a living checking out library books and then not returning them.

The word of the day is . . .

Pam Bondi is the greatest Real Housewife who ever lived.

One way to beat your opponents in biathlon is to shoot them.

- I'd really like to track down my relatives. - To get back in touch? - In case there's a bounty.

Beautiful art and amazing history here. - Melania

Melania has extremely white teeth.

If Melania says "moose and squirrel," I will pay her ten dollars.

When I listen to Melania talk, I feel like I'm learning English.

The long tables are all in the brocade.

"Melania" is magical. That could be the gummy talking.

James Van Der Beek died. It means you're old now.

The word of the day is . . .

You just know "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" has been played at funerals in Australia.

I just had an idea I gave three exclamation points. I'm on a roll.

Little old ladies slipping on the ice in Chicago. There's an Olympic sport right there.

Not now. I'm working on my masterpiece.

The kid characters are especially bad. "Small Wonder" bad.

Knut sells knishes at the Knesset.

Nora Ephron writes snappy lines. She does not write good characters.

"Sleepless in Seattle" mildly sucks.

The most curious couple in the media today are Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway. She's a genuine truth teller, and he's an absolute bullshit artist.

The most curious couple in the media today are Kara Swisher and Scott Galloway. She's a genuine truth teller, and he's an absolute bullshit artist.

Blonde lady says he's not racist. Case closed!

The word of the day is . . .

Influence your followers with an attractive personality.

The Shield of the Republic is the only Bulwark podcast that begins with a discussion of the weather. #Bulwark, #TheBulwark

Patriots fans today are more deflated than Tom Brady's balls.