BREAKING: My White House insider tells me Donald Trump has EVERY SINGLE LETTUCE, grown or imported in the US, delivered to him and WIPES HIS GIANT ORANGE ARSE all over them because he HATES AMERICANS and wants them to EAT HIS SHIT before HE DIES!

So an article in the Guardian says that Ann Widdecombe's murder is directly attributable to her own, and Nigel Farage's, own use of dehumanising language. I agree. Never, ever turn your back on dribbling Brexitwats.

"Paedophile Donald Trump and his crime family..." is better.

Mark Carney and Andy Burnham illustrate why it’s accurate to say centrists are in a death cult. Both pretend to care about their citizens and both are destroying the lives of everyone on earth. Both are disgusting humans who deserve to be in prison for their crimes against humanity.

Burnham brings hope. He hopes we all burn. The hamfaced sack.

The far-right all over free speech like flies on dogshit

Deeply irresponsible. We're in a climate crisis. This is such a terrible start. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Out for the daily constitutional and almost got splattered by a beamer tearing along. Luckily my legendary cat like reflexes kicked in and I licked my own ring-piece. What is it with BMW drivers doing 50 on a 30 road?

You'd think they'd be more grateful. Give him a proper send off. A blaze of glory. A live action remake of The Wicker Man would do nicely.

I have this recurring dream that's always different

I started to write a joke about Jason but then I got fleeced

Thread (1/2) Huge amounts of foreign money are being deployed to undermine our democracy ...

Funny how Liz Truss at CPAC GB says Lucy Connolly's prison sentence was for "free speech" but always neglects to mention that what she said was tweeted whilst migrant internment camps were being attacked and set on fire by masked fascists incited by, amongst others, Nigel Farage. #FarageRiots

Screaming "Not noobing whilst Gold, ye Gods ye cunts" is perfectly healthy Saturday morning behaviour. If you're 9.

The conciliatory hand Bitten rabidly Passionate burning Of self humanity Plantery dimensions My hate endures Unreasonable Unfathomable All yours Morning love, gonna be a scorcher

Yawns rolling in. Shall I take a double kip?

Waaaay better than Fly The Flag. Way. Way. Way.

21 degrees 10 mph NW breeze Cloud covered sky Oh My youtu.be/G-S9mtYowPY

I just griefed, well attempted, in RDO based solely on their plucking a chicken I shot and on looking at their pfp saw it was Monsieur Candy from Tarantino's Django. I'm so fucking judgy. Judge not lest ye also get your arse handed to ye because they're a 100+ ranked higher.

✨Deludoramus✨

Cheeky light of dawn Peaking overcast sky Can of breakfast tuna Digested enough Coffee #NotAHighKoo

Adverts are the eternally reincarnating fly in your homemade, perfectly seasoned, wonky veg soup, with extra croutons. Also I've no idea why hair replacement products keep appearing.

It's cool, overcast and early as fuck.

FML "wearing too many Tory clothes" this 'Labour' incorporated the fucking tailor.

Did you know that Michael Caine is a method actor &, before backing & becoming Brexitwat, whilst filming the Victorian era set anti-war Zulu (1964) contracted veneral disease to "...better know the life of soldiers..." in that period? #ClamydiaCaine #FilmHistory

Fess up tub of twat did you nap? Fuck you, it's called a siesta.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. The difference is the Green Party will actually do it. Rent controls. Wealth tax. Climate action. Join.greenparty.org.uk

so many new ‘fell for it again’ awards gonna be needed in about 6 months if andy burnham represented real change the media would be tearing him to bits. instead it’s one vague puff piece after the other the gravy train is set to continue and the ruling class know he’s on their team and not ours

Ann Widdecombe's track record dehumanised her. The rest of us just recognised that. Laughing at homophobes, racists and grasping Tory cunts rotting in hell I will never feel guilty about. Fuck her. And fuck anybody pretending she was worthy of respect.

BREAKING (not even vaguely): Nigel Farage of the Conservative Party 2.0 Reform UK, who lied about security and his £5 million Crypto Cunt Crim Coin Cash for Brexitwat which was a lie, lies about security he didn't get but is really shockingly lying because he actually got it. #FarageIsALyingCunt

I cannot stop laughing at this. They were so close to cracking lmao #InfoWars #MAJA

My CPAC UK insider reliably informs me today's toilet genital monitor is former failed British Prime Minister Liz Muff. And that conference attendance has been so laughably low and dismal that tickets are now free to all bitter, deluded gammons. So, in effect, anybody and everybody that wants to go.

The creator of Roger Rabbit (who is 85 years old by the way) is a good sort Crossposted with @openvibe.social

BREAKING: Derek TRUMP RELEASES video EVIDENCE of CHINA stealing elections!

Today I shall mostly be procrastinat

Overcast skies, the weather app lies!, which blessedly cool things down a todget but today (hopefully) is the last day of this our third heatwave this year and temp's expected to remain in the low 20s for a week or so...

Up while it's still dark again and no hint of dawn, I'm beginning to think there might be a link between this happening and my post afternoon tea cat naps. Must investigate further.

Rent controls. Now. www.bigissue.com/news/housing...

My CPAC UK insider tells me Nigel Farage was on toilet access genital monitoring duty today, he's such a cunt sniffing cock licker.

Not me like. I'm so alert I could be a watchdog. Well, with a couple more legs and a wetter nose.

In Spain they have siestas. In England we nap, because we're cunts. Wet cunts.

Your party have taken away trans people’s hard won rights . And you know this, that’s why you turned off replys you absolute coward #nolabouratpride

The Falklands ARE Argentine.

If a Gov can nationalise steel it can do it with all the rip-off utilities and (fully) rail. It can introduce rent controls and price controls on food. It can embark on a serious affordable house building plan. This Gov could but doesn't give AF about us. #VoteGreen

Got a morning walk in, it's melting hot out there.

Banksters, remember them? That's right the super wealthy that crashed the economy to make money for themselves in 2008 & then we bailed out so we could have successive Govs inflict austerity which directly contributed to thick AF monkeys voting Brexitwat. Thank the gods the banksters are "relieved".

Andy, why do you hate football so much? I was bitten by one in childhood. You were bitten by a football? Yea, four legs, furry said "Woof". That's a dog not a football. Are you certain? 100%. Enngggeeerrrlaaaannnd! Come on lads, do it for the Falklands. They already lost. Crying Shame that.

Lads, lads, lads has it come home yet?

We don't know what the cabinet will be yet, but the mood music is becoming really ominous. A Labour Party subservient to the City of London and harking back to the Blair years would be catastrophic for this country. People simply won't stand for Rip Off Britain any more.

If the UK were in the EU Starmer could have used the extra £104 billion a year it costs us to bribe Trump and the England team would still be in the running for a World Cup win. So thanks for everything Nigel Farage and fucking moron Brexitwats.