My life is nothing but a Pepe greentext.

The man who murdered my family would probably only get 1 star for that in GTA, so I've decided to forgive him.

My film teatcher just assigned a 2 hour movie in black and white...

Attention spans are so bad that it's now considered "boring" to wait in line at the DMV or spend 45 years in prison... 🤨

This is Paint's dad, logging on here to share some sad news: Last night, as my son was driving home from work, there was a deadly car accident which unfortunately didn't involve him at all. Everyone please pray for my son's early and gruesome demise! 💐

Same energy.

Sean "Diddy" Combs will voice Baby Yoshi and sing a song in the Super Mario Galaxy Movie. Source: Nintendo

I suspect my penny collection will be worth millions very soon.

This is my first Halloween as a Catholic, so tonight I'm handing out the Body of Christ. Just gave one to a trick-or-treater and somehow he INSTANTLY knew what it was. 😂 Based kid.

NYC's mayoral election is already suppressing voters. 🙃 I kept up with every debate and poll only to find out I can't vote. All because I've never actually been to America.

Just overheard a fat guy talking about food. You can't make this stuff up. 😂

BREAKING: Donald Trump makes his first public appearance in days, cryptically instructing Americans to "hold the mayonnaise." 😨

As a Midwesterner, I never realized how weird our slang is until I moved to NYC... Whenever I bump into someone, I instinctively go "Oops!" Everyone always gets SO confused! 😂

I invented an image called "Pepe Gillis." It combines Pepe and Shane Gillis.

NEVER give money to the homeless—they'll just waste it on something cheap.

I just realized why nobody criticizes Mr. Beast: 424 million subscribers. That's a thousand shooters on every block in America. Fuck with his operation and you're chalked.

In a display of great strength and bravery, President Trump just announced he will spend all night inside a haunted castle! 🔥

Fuck no. We want Shane Gillis and Sydney Sweeney! 🇺🇸

My Deltarune theory is that it takes place in an Undertale universe corrupted by worse writing and overly self-indulgent humor, which often comes at the expense of immersion. 😲

I'm so sick of everyone online being afraid to criticize this guy.

Lowe's just linked up with Mr. Beast, which makes sense as he is the world's biggest tool. #RoastBeast

Arthur meme I made to cheer myself up after losing a patient.

I hope this doesn't sound mean but I kind of think everyone stupid enough to be manipulated by this video should be banished to an Antarctic research facility and experimented on for the rest of eternity.

Coworkers are mad I used the break room microwave to heat up some poop. ☹️

16 YEARS of studying and nobody will hire us... It really makes me regret all those sleepless nights I spent cramming in elementary school.

The Minions are savage barbarians and Gru was right to enslave them.

My Dad remarried 2 times—wait, FUCK! You didn't want that! Wait, no! I'm sorry! Damn it, I fucked it all up! I always fuck EVERYTHING UP! NO!!! NO! NO! NO! GOD DAMN IT! FUCK MY LIFE! I RUIN FUCKING EVERYTHING! NO! GOD DAMN IT! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! OH MY GOD, FUCK EVERYTHING!

I feel betrayed. Jet Set Radio taught me everything I know about making disgusting terrible artwork.

Apparently this theory is Pixar's darkest secret. 🤔

In 2008 all you had to do to become a YouTuber was rap about The Legend of Zelda but now you're expected to do English homework and write essays.

My concept art for if Sesame Street made an episode about scorpions.

iDubbbz said the next Content Cop is on the SpongeBob episode "House Fancy" for torturing Squidward. 👀

How I feel lately as a Mizayaki (Studio Ghibili) fanboy who knows how to ChatGPT. 😢

This ChatGPT update is INSANE... Imagine telling someone 10 years ago that you can ask a computer to draw a picture and in mere seconds, it can generate a highly-detailed apology about why it "can't" make images of "Super Mario in the style of naked."

I'm taking a stupid person's idea of a smart person's poop on the potty rn... 👀 💯

Same energy. #NoOnesSafe #RoastingEverybody

Unethical animal experiments have been LEGALIZED! 👀🔥‼️ Experiments could roam the Earth by 2026. 🌎

Same energy.

> Charisma (famous YouTuber) > Leadership (years of running a social media empire) > Influence (popularized music for an entire generation) > Honesty and civility (gave Not Like Us a 0 for its use of personal attacks) Now say it with me: "President Anthony Fantano." #Fantano2028

Eminem + Dr. Seuss!? Somebody pinch me!!! 🙌

Just tried to explain Dan Hentschel to a female on Hinge... but to do that I had to explain Dril, The Onion, 2016 Internet, the "black and chinese" guy and even a bit of 4chan lore. Came off as a total MK Ultra CIA psyop schizo lol... she ended up unmatching. 😂 Dudes rock.

Dear Mango Mussolini (Trump), "Gulf of America" will NEVER happen! And guess what? Every high school textbook in America still says the same thing: "Gulf of—" never mind, I just checked and the entire map is covered by a doodle of a big giant enormous sexy penis. 😐

Imagine trying to explain this Kanye Twitter crashout to a normie or a coworker... 😭

Okay but why does hittin' licks, hustlin' that gas, trappin' out the bandos, and snuffin' out the opps actually look kind of... FUN???? 😭

That's it. I'm officially BEEFING with Ye. Now, I know what you're thinking: "What does a substitute teacher know about beef?" I beefed with an annoying kid named Kyle for 12 years. I spread so many rumors... Everyone ended up hating him because of me and now he's homeless! 😂

Just saying... I'm a substitute teacher and if I said what Kanye is saying, I'd be fired! I won't rest until justice is served and Kanye West's teaching license is SUSPENDED. Who's with me? ✊

It's a really scary time to travel by plane. What if I board a flight and the TVs are set to the Sonic Movie?

All this over some chocolates is crazy. 😭 (This is the example I was talking about. Thank you for your patience.)

SpongeBob fish used to crash out like the dickens 😭 (Please stay tuned; I will share an example.)

Seven members of Anonymous were at the inauguration and the media has said nothing. It's all a distraction. All of it.