It’s been a rough week here in America, but in case it helps, my cat has become endlessly fascinated with my very-much-amateurish yo-yo tricks. He particularly loves my Yomega Fireballs, Duncan Butterfly, and Duncan Bumblebee moves. I need these, too, right now. Perhaps we all need such relief.

Weird question, but did @wired.com get hacked? I was trying to manage my subscription online right about an hour ago, and I just got a notice from @lifelock-identity.bsky.social that my Wired-related info was leaked to the dark web. I love Wired--just want to be safe here...

For the first time ever (for me), I saw a Southern flying squirrel in the wild tonight. It glided across a road into a tree, which it then climbed around to hide from my flashlight. It’s not much, I know, and they’re pretty common, but I’ll take any good news I can get right now.

Anti-war march in NYC, organized overnight. Happening right now, 8th Ave. People care.

So we go after Maduro because he presides over a narco-state, but former president Hernandez of Honduras gets a pardon for convicted drug trafficking??

It’s only the seventh day of Christmas, y’all—we’re just now at the swans—so let’s slow down on the undecorating. We’ve got five days and many more bizarre gifts from our true loves to go.

What if Hemingway’s famous six-word story was just an advertisement from a company that manufactured baby shoes? 🤔 Anyway, Happy New Year!

I cannot WAIT to go to bed early tonight. #nye

Well, well, well. It’s lotion season in North Georgia.

So now he wants to remove Kennedy’s name from the Center for the Performing Arts?? Can somebody please wake me up? This dream is NOT pleasant…

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the Avid Writers’ Collective is having to move. That’s the bad news. The good news is that we’re moving into a space that’s haunted. 👻 More to come soon!

Dystopian sci fi in which an actual person delivers your food to your table, answers your call, rings your doorbell. Yeah, that’d be nice. Maybe that’s just for rich people.

Now are the days whose names no longer matter, that listless week, the time of sweatpants and napping, of random leftovers, of reading and of football, of newly gifted socks. This is our own little Upside Down, a spirit realm which visits us but once a year. Welcome, friends, to the Void.

Mouse got a new kitty tunnel for Christmas, and I’m starting to think it might be a portal to another dimension.

Three ghosts visited me last night, but I don’t really remember what all they said or showed me. Must not have been that important

Next year, my Christmas list is going to include just one item: coal. Your move, Santa. Check and mate.

Not a creature was stirring, except for this Mouse.

Maybe the Grinch is the end result of Frankenstein's monster. He never meant to terrorize Whoville. He just wanted someone to love him back.

We need more carols about Santa Claus slamming Red Bulls in order to enter a state of "beast mode" before engaging the reindeers' hyperdrives to shatter all known laws of physics and B&E every single house on Earth in a single 24-hour period on Christmas Eve.

I'm too tired to jingle ALL the way.

This children’s production of ‘The Nutcracker’ that my nieces are in has metal detectors at the door and a clear bag requirement.

Not enough parents are naming their babies "Ebenezer" these days.

Am I alone in maintaining a drawer at my office desk referred to as “The Abyss”? It houses various hot sauces, spreads, antacids, napkins, utensils, soy sauce, oyster crackers, ramen noodles, sports drinks, packaged cheeses, assorted nuts, pork rinds, and somehow, video equipment. I have needs.

I actually enjoy hunkering. And not always down!

I don't like it when the days keep getting shorter and/or longer. We need to settle on a laid-back middle ground.

I just received a text saying that my car has a manufacturing defect that can cause the wheels to “pop off at random” and “fly in all directions simultaneously.” Given that I’d rather that not happen while I’m driving, I’m about to call the dealership to confirm and see what the next steps will be.

My goal for today is to use the word "prestidigitation" in a conversation.

The more I learn about literary "shadow daddies," the more confused I am about them.

Heaven, for me, just might involve a cold winter night outside, a cozy room with an old rug, me reading a good book, and my cat lying warmly across my feet.

“People who are harder to love pose a challenge, and the challenge makes them easier to love.” ~Rachel Kushner, ‘The Flamethrowers’ #SundaySentence

What’s up, lords?! I’m going out a-leaping later, in case any of y’all would like to join me.

Well, according to my chocolate advent calendar, it's just two days until Christmas.

I don't like that we're now using "compute" as a noun.

"Nap Time" is wasted on the young.

It's giving...Tuesday.

Somebody just wished me a “meh chridmuss” and I’m not sure how to feel about it.

Are you there, God? It’s me, Chewbacca.

My dad: Want to come to Publix with me for some post-Thanksgiving grocery shopping? Me: Hmm, no thanks. My dad: They have free cups of ice in the deli. Me: Okay, I’m in.

Out in the yard, pardoning all the Thanksgiving crows and squirrels.

I did it! I finally did it! My phone is so proud of me right now.

I keep watching those cautionary videos from fire departments about what can happen when you deep fry a turkey incorrectly, and while I know you're not supposed to do it that way, they always make it look like it'd be fun.

"Your Honor, I'd like to Phone-a-Friend."

The Grinch sets unrealistic standards for eyebrow-raising while smiling mischievously.

Dance Dance Revolution but it’s me trying awkwardly to pass somebody walking toward me on the sidewalk.

Love it when my Apple Watch scolds me for not having slept well.

I just saw an ad for a new prescription drug called “Bimzelx,” and y’all, I think we’re running out of names for these things.

It’s like ten more days until Thanksgiving, and already I’m excited for the deviled eggs.

I just got a an email from my veterinarian offering promotional deals for my cat for Veteran's Day, and it makes me think they don't know that my cat never served in the military.

There are too many apps.

Funny because it’s true.