I've got my big brush out x

So pissed off that someone on my local Facebook residents group has spoiled the Race Across the World finale 😤 I knew I should have watched it tonight

Hello four-day weekend 😍

It's the perfect weather for daydrinking in the garden but sadly I've got bills to pay and no one wants to be my sugar daddy 🥲

Work is testing my patience and my sanity today. Don't call me up to moan about something I have no control over, then ignore the solution when I suggest it 🙃

How is it #mcm again already?

The scaries are kicking in after a fabulous weekend. Someone come spoon me? x

I'm saying nothing, other than what a great birthday I had 🫢

Birthday shenanigans have been had x

Level 31 unlocked 🎈🥂

Kicking off Part 1 of the celebrations x

The Gay Powers™ have been restored just in time for this weekend's birthday shenanigans 🫦

It may not be #mcm today but I did just hit 1,000 followers and it happens to be hump day so... 😘

It may not be #mcm today but I did just hit 1,000 followers and it happens to be hump day so... 😘

Just noticed that I'm getting real close to 1K followers and now wondering if I'll hit the milestone before my birthday. I'll have to think of a way to celebrate 😌

2 years into my job, people are still getting me confused with the other (admittedly, same-aged homosexual) guy in my team. I've just had my second email in a week calling me by the wrong name, despite my email address literally being my name 🫠🫠🫠

I'm doing Monday night right. Cheeky glass of rosé and the vinyl player is on 😌

Happy #mcm from me and the bleach I spilled on my jumper earlier x

To celebrate my birthday next weekend my friends baked me a cake and threw me a surprise BBQ 🥹

She's out out again x

My niece was feeling surprisingly un-spicy for a change x

Happy Saturday loves 🍸

It's a lazy sofa Saturday x

Update: I was a good boy and made it home x

I'm about one more whiskey sour from doing something inappropriate at the work drinks x

Got my pale tits out in the garden.

That film served SO much cunt. 💅🏻

I'm off to see Mother tonight and I am perched 👠

There are no elections in my area today and y'all are giving me voting FOMO 😄

At very nearly 90 years old my poor Nan doesn't ask for much. But recently she asked for a budgie and a family friend bought her this gorgeous boy 🥰

Happy Bank Holiday #mcm from me and yet another bath x

Lovely little walk and a bite to eat this afternoon with the amazing @chrispapatango.uk. Thanks lovely! x

I'm sorry to the Jacobs that I smashed along the way. ... Yes, I'm talking about the crisps 🤭

Not to betray my insobriety, but apparently there's something about drinking while submerged in water (in this case a bath), that causes the wine to wine a little harder than usual x

Off to meet friends for a late pizza lunch 🍕 hope you're all having fab Saturdays x

I'm currently the human equivalent of a Drumstick lolly. 🫠

If the expression 'double trouble' had a face (or two!) it would be this 🐶🐶

It's definitely WFG weather today 🌞

This was well deserved today x

How your email finds me on this #mcm

Phase two has been reached 🫧

Takeaway and a bath, followed by a bit of Miranda Priestly? Sunday evening is being done right x

Happy Saturday 😘

Am I seven proseccos deep at 1pm? ... Maybe x

Happy Saturday, lovelies 🥂

Should be asleep already but someone had other ideas 🤭 night all x

Happy Friday you lovely lot 😘 hope all your weekends are as fabulous as you x

Not sure the last time I did one of those but it's always worth it to see all these lovely faces 🥰

These babies are keeping me company today 🥰

What do you mean it's only Wednesday? x