The same people saying we should go to Iran because they are shooting protesters are defending ICE agents for shooting protesters.

Why does Trump want Greenland so badly? We haven't seen him care this much about an Island since his good friend Jeffrey Epstein invited him to one.

Love how JD Vance described Democrat Rep. Jasmine Crockett as a “street girl” but didn’t thank Niki Minaj for complementing him as an “assassin” when she sat down with Erika Kirk.

Trump started the trade war with Canada so they would take more American products. It worked. They loved that episode of 60 Minutes.

Costco, Sabrina Carpenter, and the Pope all came out this week to criticize Trump's policies. But sure, you're gonna win the midterms biggly.

I think we all know how Stranger Things ends. Trump will just pardon Vecna.

Marjorie Taylor Greene appears to be out, and Zohran Mamdani is in. MAGA is gonna lose their little minds…and their healthcare, social security, and SNAP benefits, but who cares? This is good press for Dear Leader.

A three judge pannel struck down Texas redistricting, the house voted to release the Epstein files and Bitcoin erased its gains for the year or, consequences have reentered this reality.

From now on, any text I receive from the Democrats asking for money to fight Trump will be answered with a promise to donate in the future.

Mamdani was elected mayor of New York City. Democratic Mikie Sherrill was elected Governor of New Jersey. Democrat Abigail Spanberger was elected Governor of Virginia. Two states elected their first female governors, and the city of New York elected a Muslim Socialist. I finally see some hope.

Trump is naming his new $300 million ballroom, Prince Andrew.

The United States of America started as a protest against a king. Protesting is as American as paying undocumented workers under the table, insider trading among politicians of every party and covering up a president’s failing health.

Maybe Salesforce owner Marc Benioff is right. Bring the National Guard into San Francisco. They can round up all the techbro's wearing convention lanyards and keep them contained at the convention center so the lines at burrito shops in the Mission don't get long.

San Francisco is warning people to be careful this Halloween season. Apparently, they have found candy in some of the drugs people are handing out.

ANTIFA is a term. Not an organization. The government can arrest people, but like all the fascists in history, they will find out you cannot arrest an idea.

The Vatican is against surrogacy calling it a "grave violation of the dignity of the woman and the child.” Isn’t that how Jesus was born?

I have bad news for Pete Hegseth. If you don’t pay troops they might start growing beards to save money on razors.

The right-wing is praising Trump for telling the FBI to release all files they have about Amelia Earhart. I hope it turns out that she crash landed on Epstein’s island.

What if Bad Bunny performs at the Super Bowl halftime show dressed as the old man in the Cracker Barrel logo? Will that stop the MAGA tears?

Apparently, Trump and Hegseth were a little disappointed by the quiet reception the generals gave them today, but it was still better than the crowd reaction to Theo Von’s Netflix special taping.

Another shooting. Another tragedy. Let's not rush to judgment about the shooter's motives yet. The FBI hasn't even found shell casings with messages on them yet.

Trump Demands Congress Subpoena UN Escalator and Teleprompter for Hearings. The Escalator and Teleprompter Have “No Comment.”

The Epstein Files cause Autism. That's why they can't be released, America.

If you make any comments about Charlie Kirk, censorship, guns and the right-wings fervent belief that they are not responsible for any politically motivated violence in this country, expect to get a lot of comments that start with "Bro..."

Disney won five Emmys for Andor, a show about resisting fascism, and then suspended Jimmy Kimmel for resisting fascism.

Just a reminder, America. If MAGA had already succeeded in removing every single "illegal" from the country because they're dangerous, Charlie Kirk would still have been shot.

Trump is planning to rename the Department of Defense, The Depart of War. However, changing signs, plaques, stationary and emblems would cost a few hundred million dollars. I am suggesting we use the already made new, but quickly discarded, Cracker Barrel logo.

The same people who will tell you we must ban books to keep children safe will also tell you there is nothing we can do about guns.

RFK Jr. blames the latest shooting on medications. Conservatives claim it was a result of the shooter being transgender. I think it's the guns, idiots.

My girlfriend showed me her collection of individual socks who lost their partners. It made me sad. I’m going to start a dating app for solo socks.

Last week I saw The Spin Doctors, Gin Bloosoms and Blues Traveler at The Mountain Winery. The merch table could have made a fortune selling IcyHot.

I miss the good old days when Republicans were offended by drag queens reading to children.

I just asked ChatGPT to write a documentary about my life. It was poignant, painful, beautiful, and sincere. None of it was true, but boy, the AI's really think I've lived a life worth living!

Ghislaine Maxwell has been approved for work release. That is insane. Her last job was trafficking children. What possible “job” could she be suitable for?

If you’re getting laughs on left leaning jokes in front of crowd you were told are conservative, you are a standup. If you are getting cheers and pumped fists from right-wing audiences while reciting hacky stereotypes about marginalized groups, you aren’t a comedian. You are leading a rally.

Wednesday, Trump administration members got together to discuss the Epstein situation. Friday, ICE announced it is ending age restrictions for new recruits.

Hey, remember about a year and a half ago when everyone was so divided over pickleball and tennis? Man, those were some good times.

The people who hid Anne Frank were breaking the law. The people who turned her in were following it. I think about this comment every time I see news about another "illegal" who was arrested by masked men and deported.

I was just at my weekend cafe because it is the Juneteenth holiday. An old white guy was complaining about it not being a real holiday, that it was a D.E.I. holiday. I just told him, "All holidays matter." Nothing like the laughter of a cafe to put a bully in his place.

Instead of bombing Iran, how about we have SpaceX relocate to Tehran? That should strike fear into anyone about massive explosions.

You can't be a crappy stand-up and have crappy political views. Choose one of them to be crappy at.

A friend asked me what I’m doing for men’s mental health awareness month. Ignoring it.

ICE is just the Gestapo on the rocks.

Sure, Trump can make the Iranians surrender the same way he made Mexico pay for the wall and how he ended Russia’s war against Ukraine on his first day in the White House.

I have a friend who grew up in Culver City, CA. She tells me that the flower lady, an elderly woman who had sold flowers near a gas station for as long as she could remember, was picked up by ICE last week. Not a rapist. Not a drug smuggler. Not a murder. The flower lady.

Like a lot of people who go to LA, the Marines will be home in six months with stories about how they could have made it, but too many people got in their way.

NEW: Everything wrong in America is because of the ultra-wealthy. My latest: www.muellershewrote.com/p/its-the-ol...

Working with incompetent people is exhausting. Talking to the people whose job it is to defend them is insulting. But hey, it has become the popular way to govern, manage, lead, and control.

If Bruce Springsteen, the Pope, and the stock market are against you, it's you.

They're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats, they're eating the tariffs.