Development on the mobile fortress line of transportation is going swimmingly. Paying customers will soon be able to take a ride from London to Oxford in roughly one hour in splendid luxury.

Any opinions expressed on this account do not represent the views of the Kensington Rail Corporation and associated subsidiaries, i.e. the Molentary Express.

Is everybody on this app besides me a homosexual?

My 100th follower will receive an exclusive 5% discount on a ticket! Now don’t let anyone tell you I’m not generous.

There are many words I would like to use to describe my incompetent nephew, but the papers would never let me hear the end of it if I were to say them. Cancel culture has gone rampant in our great nation. You can't do anything, or else a horde of protesters block the tracks. Run them over, I say!

Where is Samuel? Am I on the wrong website?

Ah, hello! My name is Fredrich Beluga, you may know me as the owner of the famous Molentary Express, the "Cruise Ship On Rails", and as a generous philanthropist. Please feel free to follow this account, as I need to prove a point to my idiot nephew.