Looking at old pics of myself and wow I can’t believe how fat I used to be and I was completely fucking blind to it like how?!!?

cw vomit // ive been wondering why I’ve been smelling vomit recently and I just remembered I got some splashback in my hair a few days ago 😷

i went to hot topic yesterday and tried on some clothes that were on clearance. i was so shocked to find the L sizes I picked up fit perfectly. this is coming from a former 2x-3x wearer so i thought no way this would fit and it did!

im always so snacky the week before my period...damn luteal phase

I shouldn’t have bought these I already ate 10 (700 cals) 😖

My family is coming in two weeks and we’re all staying in an Airbnb. I’m so stressed and anxious about it To start, there’s ALWAYS drama, especially with my older brother who I haven’t seen in two years Apparently he’s gone through rehab and is better now but idk if i believe it :/

not losing weight after averaging 500 cals for the past several days 😞

my gw is whatever weight I need to be to fit into jfashion clothes

I feel silly still struggling with SH and EDs at this age…will it ever end?

Had a crash out this morning over absolutely nothing and now I’m questioning my entire existence

my hubby said I’m getting too skinny..like bro I still have 50 pounds I need to lose ? 😭

gonna be more active on here now that I’m settled in my home and finally locked in

Finally back to the weight I was in September before I gained and got stuck in maintenance 😮‍💨 This is my LW as an adult, I still have a long way to go before getting back to my LW ever, when i first developed my ED as a teenager.. but at least November is off to a great start :)

did a dolly look for Halloween 🎀

weigh day tomorrow let’s see if I manage to lose anything ..

between b/ping, laxatives and cramping my stomach is going through a lot of pain rn >~<

finally got a hold of my eating and back to restricting 😮‍💨 now to lose the 6lbs I gained (and an extra 20 before the year ends 🤞)

only one week left for me to finish packing and cleaning. im moving into a small room in my MILs house and have to somehow donwsize from a 2-story 4 bedroom home..I have to get rid of most of my shit to do so and its stressing me tf out

hi im still alive ive just been stuck in a binge cycle for a month and i finally gave up this week and started purging again 🥲

I desperately need to fast, I’m so bloated and gained like 6 pounds in one week ;;

This is embarrassing to share but wow The difference in my face between my HW and my CW is insane…I look like a completely different person

Ugh I’m so bloated after a day of horrible binging. Seeing my stomach like that triggered me so bad - reminded me of being obese. I can’t go back to that, I have to stop binging…it’s been a week of nonstop food and I already gained two pounds. I don’t want to gain more..

I’m back to playing animal crossing all day everyday. Great food distraction and im nearly done with my island! I’ve been working on it on/off for yeaaaars I’m so excited but also a little sad to be done with it soon 😢

Why can I not lose weight eating 600-800 cals a day but the moment I eat 1200 I actually drop

I used to NEVER get sick but ever since I moved to Florida I get sick once every few months With vaccine mandates being revoked and the lack of women’s healthcare I’m seriously considering moving out…

I caught a stomach bug and it kicked in during day 2 of HHN 😭 at least I got to go through two houses but gonna have to end the night early ;; My hubby had this bug for a week and lost six pounds so I’m hoping I lose the same lmao

It’s a weird feeling being at the SW that triggered my ED in the first place as a child.. yea I’m taller and older so the weight doesn’t sit the same but it feels the same nonetheless

Nothing like looking at photos of myself at my HW to start the day 🥴

Okay so we spoke about this and he says he genuinely did not see the word crossed out under hungry 😭 BUT even after I pointed it out he didn’t see anything wrong with it so naturally that led to an argument…

Whenever my emotions are this intense I just want to B/P all day until my body and brain is numb. I haven’t purged in a month and I already feel the urge building up.

Ugh I’m so upset I just want to run into a bathroom and cry but I’m stuck in line for a haunted house that’s about to open. This was supposed to be a great day and of course it’s ruined. I’m just trying to stuff my emotions down for now but I’m not fucking happy and that’s not going to change.

My husband posted this on his insta and he says I’m overreacting to be upset about it?? What do you guys think

Heading off to Halloween Horror Nights! Had to show off my dress 🩸 🔪 👻

Clothing sizes are so fkn annoying Size 12 jeans from most stores are too big on me and yet i have a size 17 shorts from 2015 that fit perfectly (much to my dismay 🫩) Vanity sizing is so weird now. Like im over here jumping in joy at being an M in most stores just to realize that’s a Y2K XXL💀

Happy that I’ve lost so much and finally fitting in as “average” (after a lifetime of being obese) Sad that I’m still fat AF and no where near skinny 🥲

on day 2 of no food 😘✌️ will i make it to 3 days (so I can be pretty)?.. we'll see idk why its easier to fast when i dont have an upcoming event that I need to lose weight for 🫠

Dropping 2 lbs after a massive 💩

Also another reason we’re moving out is because my husband got SUED from a debt collector and we owe $14,000 😀 We went through a debt resolution program so they’re handling the lawsuit but our payments are going up from $800 a month to $1300 and…yea we cannot fucking afford that with our rent

I should reach GW2 by the beginning of October and my OG UGW by December just with a 1200 cal intake and some light exercise…this is so doable I cannot fuck this up

I’m trying a new thing where I JUST SAY NO to food Calories cannot enter my body without consent and I need to stop giving in so willingly 🥲

Hubby and I made the decision to break our lease early and move in with his parents. They have a 3 bedroom and his two adult siblings already live there but we offered to pay whoever lets us take their room since we have a toddler and four dogs and really need the space.

Back from my work trip! Despite all the food we ate I managed to lose 1 pound 😳 Probably due to all the walking we did My coworkers are super fit and active so it was a little hard keeping up with them. My legs and ankles hurt sooo mf bad. But they inspired me to take fitness more seriously

All my coworkers are SO skinny im going to be the biggest one there and they’re going to be just as repulsed by my body as I am

Hate myself so much How is it that I only lost like 3 pounds this month I should’ve lost at least 10 easily Should’ve just kept purging Now Im stuck being a fat ugly fuck And I have my trip tomorrow Everyone’s going to be subjected to my ugliness I’m such a fucking disappointment

My grandma keeps mailing me 1X clothes and I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m an M now 😭

I love watching myself get prettier with each pound lost

Ugh I need this fat to come off NOWWW I have so much potential

Finally made it through day 1 💀

My doggie turns 10 today! I made some pupcakes for him and the other pups to share 💕

11 bmi points away from my hw 11 bmi points away from my gw