i desperately need current anti-vaping campaigns to understand that vapes are not only extremely small, but also totally portable, and that their whole message falls flat and stupid because of this fact

can i interest you in a perfect little muffin man?

pumpking of my heart

i am "i own a 'nice' pair of crocs, separate from my other crocs" years old

do you accept his offering?

we got cowboy bebop. we got one piece. where’s my live action yuyu hakusho?

once every few years jason snaps a photo of me that i really like. looking forward to 2026 when it happens again maybe!

why are the pumpkins and ghosts so much better than reese’s cups? what is the science?!?

unresolved mysteries be like, “join us for coverage of a very sad, real life murder, followed by the story of a nevada couple who says the ghost of a revolutionary war general is living in their teenage son’s ass”

unresolved mysteries be like, “join us for coverage of a very sad, real life murder, followed by the story of a nevada couple who says the ghost of a revolutionary war general is living in their teenage son’s ass”

jump scare under my desk

practicing the violin and thinking i’m alone only to open the door so my dog and husband can tumble inside like a couple of cartoon sidekicks

where are all the caramel apples? i don’t want candy apples! fuck candy apples!

pretty sure they could use the soundtrack from “reptile” to torture political prisoners

me, every time i see my dog: “i see you!”

fartin pooper’s 95 feces

is it a sign of depression creep that i’m thinking of trying to log into my old neopets account?

fuck you, netflix. i’m still upset about lockwood & co.

hubie turned hu-three today!

hubie turned hu-three today!

i’m at whatever stage of my thirties where i am about to, with full confidence, start wearing sunscreen as a fragrance because i like the smell so much

adhd is wild. i just voluntarily spent 1.5 hours steaming a rug, but the unmedicated effort to do tackle one night’s worth of dishes feels like attempting a marathon.

what if a dog was also a bat and a cat and a pig and it sat like a weird little goblin and made noise like a leaky balloon? what if?

oh hell yeah

what if a dog was also a bat and a cat and a pig and it sat like a weird little goblin and made noise like a leaky balloon? what if?

once again, my time* has come *the part of the year when mcdonalds releases special happy meal pokémon cards, and i flirt with death via sodium poisoning

might fuck around and actually attend our next hoa meeting just so i can make an impassioned defense against relocating the neighborhood beaver

mud monster

so the premise of “love is blind” is just dumping a bunch of conventionally attractive people behind walls and acting like it’s somehow a gamble?

jump scare under my desk

almost every time we go for a walk, hubie has a little pee on the wheel of our cop neighbor’s charger. and for that I salute him

if ken animal crossing doesn’t leave my island soon— *heavy sigh* i’m gonna keep waiting for him to leave my island

please witness me attempting to explain to my husband that i saw an excavator move side to side like a crab today and was very excited about it

lemme just say, as a grown up shonen jump kid, i am having the fuckin’ best time watching live action one piece

happy disenchantment day to those who celebrate! just the workday until i can watch

portrait of a man who is not spoiled at all

*singing a little song, doing a little dance* pumpkin cream cold brew pumpkin cream cold brew pumpkin cream cold brew

fondly reminiscing about the time i had to explain to an attorney i work for that saying they “had a train run on them” in court does not, in fact, mean the same thing as “got railroaded” like they thought it did

irritated consternated mad about no spaghetti

i liked the live action cowboy bebop. that's right. you people are no fun.

*beleaguered nerd voice* the pokémon proportions in detective pikachu are mostly wrong

i have no scream and i must mouth

goddammit, people. it's "choked." c h o k e d. "chocked" is a completely different fucking word - and almost nobody is using that one correctly either.

no physical edition of baldur's gate in the us? fuckin' seriously?

zz top implies the existence of zz bottom. possibly zz switch.

anyone else consistently failing captchas despite being a human because you’re not sure if the partial handlebar and shadow of a bike still counts as a bike?

the neopets RP to ya author pipeline

i’ve basically never not been in my webcomic era, but i’m feeling extra webcomic-y having recently gotten totally obsessed with golden shrike

we dna tested the boy. he contains multitudes.

*speaking into dictaphone* idea for a dublin sex club - o’rifices