Having a hard time caring about my art, gamedev project, fitness. Not sure if I care that I don't care. 😓

We should start talking about the impermanence of acquired knowledge. We are in a time of fragmenting information. How can science persist if hard won discoveries are continually forgotten? How does our logic stand if every generation loses part of the graph? What if we lose the axioms?

I'm in a really weird place. Fourth night in a row where an odd sense prevades: that the veil of the fabric of reality has been lifted and I can almost see the absurd unreality of it all. Like that time I saw behind the puppet show when I was very young. I'm drifting away? (I'm sober)

I had no idea Saturn games were so beautiful.

Genuinely interested if other people feel this happening. You know that hollow feeling when you become aware that a video game is an empty, artificial world? And it starts to feel uncanny? That's the way reality feels lately.

Identities for the Jacobi elliptic functions go on and on. Interesting note: the Jacobi functions sit between the circular sines and cosines and the hyperbolic functions. A limit in either direction reduces to those. This is going to serve as the basis for my indie game quantum system.

Okay guys, I have time to deeply study one (graduate level) subject this summer: Quantum mechanics or Elliptic functions? What do you think?

Wow all that guitar practice is paying off. I'm starting to identify positions as notes instead of fret numbers. I'm not even trying to do it. Weird.

Ever feel like today's choice is no longer whether to study science, but whether to preserve knowledge for the times after the fall?

Found the old undergrad physics labs I want to use as test cases for my science research station project. Compton scattering was such a teeny tiny dataset! It's so very cute with its 4096 data points. But yeah we can bring this into modern times.

I'm having some scientific awakening. I keep thinking about this modular research station. I keep thinking that the most rebellious thing I can do is open real science to the next generation. Make it something close, something personal, something even mundane.

I'll need to write new plotting routines for scientific data. My previous library was written on immediate mode OpenGL. People keep telling me not to write my own for some reason. Experts need expert stuff, people don't understand that my plotting needs are not covered by excel level plotslop.

To make a home science station, all I really need is to program up a common interface for sensors and a data pipe. I think I can develop it around a muon detector and maybe that one of the simple quantum labs from undergrad physics. Then I can try out a particle physics sandbox.

I wanna make this thing. Research station from Starfield. Everybody needs a science station at home. There's no good reason that computers need to be tailored just for doomscrolling. This ain't even an advanced system!

So my hypothetical moon can't support photosynthesis. But could there be a form of life that absorbs x-rays and re-emits UV light into it's cell structure, enabling it to grow like a plant?

Now my muon sensing creature has speciation. Some of the caverns are tight so its going to need little legs and a longer, narrower flexible ribcage. Kinda like an axolotl. Easy for species to be cut off from one another in the web of caverns beneath the ice sheet.

I need a recommendation for a grad school level encyclopedia of astrophysical objects. All my knowledge of stars is over 25 years old.

I recommend creature design to any artist. I'm having a blast evolving this muon-sensing turtle whale thing. The scintillation chambers are giant eyes evolved to look within themselves for light flashes indicating a muon decay event. Echolocation is used to navigate dark tunnels.

Obssessed with this idea of a creature swimming through a subterranean ocean on a moon orbiting a radiation-bathed planet near the galactic nucleus. It peacefully swims through tunnels it only knows because of the dim scintillation of muon decay inside its mucus-filled brain.

Why in the hell am I not making a science homelab server set up with scrapped computers? I can almost replicate every physics experiment from undergrad lab class. Everybody should have a modular physics research station at home.

Thinking about the creature that could sense muon decay as a sense organ and it's kinda gross. Like it would have big mucous filled sacks as dense as muscle tissue with eyes inside and optic nerves running into its brain. Or the brain would be in a mucous sack. With eyes looking at its brain.

On some planet somewhere there's a creature that lives in a deep cave system. It evolved to sense muon decay and uses it as way to see the surrounding cave system through all the rock. Muon-vision. It's probably gecko like and has big pouches on its back. I'ma try to draw it.

With all the things that my phone con do, the fact that it does not have a muon detector is unacceptable.

So now I'm seeing ads for why data centers are good and don't use water. Everything is a stupid and obvious lie.

Just ran across the comic page I started about a month ago that I forgot I had drawn. And damn, it's really good. I like when I look at something I made and think "wait, who drew this?"

Texas is so bad at official paperwork stuff wtf.

Oh nice. The post office sent me a recruitment advertisement for postal service law enforcement hiring push. This is not a bad sign for the US police state ahead of the midterms, right?

All this talk of age verified operating system makes me wonder: how much could I actually get done with just a potato? Or even just loosely integrated microprocessor boards?

This is a Gerber Scale. It's a stretchy ruler for measuring on physical paper graphs. It works better than most slop software and it works on almost any graph. Software companies let us down. Emabrace the old style. We can fix this world.

To this day, I always read FTW as "fuck the world" and it kinda still makes sense when people use it.

I need physics friends.

After decades of system admin stuff I can say now that I hate this. In my day our internet was made out of wood and we ate it without complaining about updates. Seriously tho, nothing actually works right.

I love the point in writing stories when a concepts evolves and theme emerges. When you realize the story you started telling was about something less superficial, and you see the characters react as yours and their subconscious takes over.

Guys, I was serious about starting a scientific social network explicitly designed to facilitate solving the faster than light travel problem. I really just need people to dream and believe. And clap.

So I've often wondered, if we got 100,000 people around the world focused on one specific problem, could we solve faster-than-light travel? Could we crowdfund science and just cut out the corrupt middlemen?

Remember, those who don't use AI and instead learn and master things are the only ones who will be able to do anything after the AI software push fails.

I want to start making my own sunday comics page. Like every week I could draw five different comic strips and print them out on paper. Leave them around the coffee shop or something.

I need to recapture the unrepentant elation I used to experience when I was able to print out a low res skull and crossbones on a dot matrix printer using Print Shop in 1990. Why are computers so boring now?

After seeing the Mario Galaxy movie I came away really starting to dislike Mario. Not a review of the movie itself. I just don't like Mario anymore and think they should kill off the character.

In 2020 I had an idea for an anime where the elite decide to simply stop taking care of the public and just treat people "outside the walls" as feral livestock. They lived within in tech and wealth. I wonder sometimes if art is prophetic. I feel this is happening now with fucking shit face.

What if we send two Jedi knights to the Strait of Hormuz to negotiate the blockade?

Having given it a little time (roughly two decades) I can confidently say I hate typing on a touch screen.

Setting up servers for collaboration is stupid. Computers are stupid. Animation needs to be done on paper in a big room in the forest with ramen cooking.

Dammit I wanna go to the moon.

This whole "new AI model threatens the banks" thing reeks of actually being "we need to keep the bubble floating so lets frighten the government's into funding a defense AI contract."

Starting to realize my art vibe is always going to be weird to most people because my style sits too far out of the algorithm.

Getting back to my indie game and I don't know if I want to stick with the 2D pixel look I was prototyping or switch to a low poly 3D. The game world is bigger and more dynamic now that I'm adding the quantum physics system and 2D might be suffocating the design now.

Here's what I'm thinking for my cozy detective gamedev. 1. A custom pseudo random in game quantum physics system that affects in game events. 2. The player "studies" the physics through quantum inspired pinball mini games around town. 3. Quantum physics affects detective skill tree progression.

Somewhere along the way I stopped being who I was and was washed downstream by the flood. But I was always some weird scientist. And as such, I am approaching game design and art from what I consider the fundamentals. Coming back to this book, for starters. (Please encourage me. I'm unstable.)

Why does the iran "deal" feel like a way to fix the oil markets to benefit the elite at the expense of the rest of us? Don't worry, I know why.