“don’t call me that. my name is nolan.”

“you’re twisting my words.” no, she isn’t.

“i’m not lying.” that got under his skin, despite it being true that he is lying about it.

“they’re funny and stuff. just your average mates.”

“yeah, well, i’m not like that and i’m not you. i have friends.”

“well i obviously have friends.” a defensive tone is quick to be heard. “i’m not some freak.”

he has no response. she doesn’t even realise that she’s caught him in a lie about friends and he’s too proud to admit he barely has any.

he shrugs once again. “yeah. mine too.”

“i suppose they are.” if he creates them in his head ? they are. but he tries not to do that too much. hurts more when he’s back in reality. “are yours?”

oh. . oh, yeah. his 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬, or more so lack thereof. he shrugs. “they’re alright.”

he looks up at her. brows furrowing as though he didn’t fully understand her question. “my group?”

“everything. the classes, the professors. everyone just seems to be happy here.” his grip slightly tightens on the book. “so many rules. all of these stupid groups of friends.”

he shrugs. staring at the book. “just do.”

“i hate this place.” no idea why he’s even telling her such a thing.

𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐀𝐅𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄? 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞. ————

“are you often a hypocrite?”

he looks at the book and then watches kahl. “then why do they have it? seems a bit stupid if you ask me.”

he looks back at her and then the books. just grabbing one so he didn’t look so clueless. moving to sit away from her.

“just a book. can you please stop talking and just let me look?”

no comment on what he did. he is infact just glancing at the titles. not really knowing what he’s looking for. “a book.”

“and i want to read one too. so. . you can’t question me for the same.” he shrugs and walks. looking at the books.

“i’m not looking for anything. i’m just. . wandering.” he mumbles. “why are 𝙮𝙤𝙪 here?”

he finally gets in, proud of himself— sneaking in before he sees kahl. really? her again?

it seems to be a harder task than he anticipated, that’s for sure. he’s even trying alohomora.

trying to get into the restricted section of the library.

“no thanks. i don’t want to talk to you.” he does. he doesn’t speak to many. she seems very helpful. still, he’s putting his hood up and walking.

“nah.” that’s all he has to say.

he stops to let her walk ahead. an unconscious decision. he trails behind her. “you seemed pretty gryffindor to me with that speech back there.”

he can only mumble as he keeps his distance. “gryffindors.”

he can hear her footsteps aswell as his own. he turns his head a little to glance over his shoulder as he walks.

he is just walking. that’s easier than standing here with all this emotions that could so easily spill out to her in the end. he’s more sensitive than he seems. she’s right about everything. he is a child. that’s all he is. a 𝘣𝘰𝘺.

nolan rolls his eyes with irritation. irritation that he’s being called out. “i’m fine without your approval. thanks though.” he’s not fine. he really needs something. it’s not pride that keeping him back, it’s fear. fear of things he doesn’t understand.

“well-adjusted to stay even though you don’t care. eh, disappointing really.”

“i don’t have to explain myself to you. you people always do that. pretend to know me. you don’t.” less explosive behaviour, still just as dangerous if he really allowed himself to not feel fear for consequence.

“bravo for you.” said sarcastically with a lazy shrug, even if his shoulders carry a tense feeling he can’t shake. “why are you here talking to me then? bit strange, honestly.” he won’t admit that he enjoys the company. his attitude is a practise defence.

nolan folds his arms across his chest, his frustration leaking through. “you don’t survive by being decent—.” he looks away, breathing heavily and trying to keep his emotions under wraps. “it’s defective. weak.” said more as a whisper or a mumble. to himself.

“it implies kindness when it’s granted. kindness is a choice and at times a weakness.“ even the words sounds bitter in his mouth. he sounds like his father. maybe that’s fate? who knows. maybe this is the start. oh no. is it?

“i could use it on you, but i’m not.” ah yes, because that makes it better. that really just forgives his actions— in his mind, holding back on such a urge makes him good. not that he’s evil, but he’s dangerous in a sense. what if he had used crucio on a person with that curiosity?

nolan didn’t like being called that, the glare on his sweet youthful face expresses that. “see, it’s fine.” despite how cold he sounds, he is quite relieved. “and don’t call me a fool. you don’t know me.” he had the urge to just reach for his wand and teach her a lesson for —

he didn’t like how that feels . . to put into words -? it feels like you’re a ragdoll. he makes a face before his voice raises more than it did when he had demanded to be put down. he’s never had this happen to him and to be frank? he’s scared. what if she hurts him the way he had hurt that —

struggling is useless, he’s not really in control. but he can be stubborn too— that’s why he’s still attempting. he looks at her, still not responding to her question. if he lies, he’d look evil, if he said he didn’t know? he looks naive. he is 𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘷𝘦, that much is obvious but nolan —

he was running, and then nolan is feeling light, not really in control. he looks down. realising his feet are no longer on the sturdy ground. he then realises what is happening. more panic, one that he can no longer mask. “put me down now!” ah, there it is. his voice. “i demand it!” —

before he knew it , the boy was going flying a few feet. hitting the ground, leaves sticking to his robes a little. there’s the sound a thud. he sat up and then heard the voice, nolan looks over with slightly widened eyes and parted lips—- maybe because he was caught and assumed he’s going —

he’s walking , pulling the hood of his robe down, assume he’s alone here to try out this spell. he sees a rabbit and dark hazel hues watch the small thing just minding his own business. not much expression on his freckled face. that is before a small smile pushes at his lips at the sight —

and here is where innocence meets a world open to dark spells, because he has no idea what crucio means, nor what it can do. all he knows is—- 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐥𝐥. if he knew what it genuinely did? he would not be looking for a target.

he needs silence. . and a target. perhaps an animal?

he’s learnt a new spell . hm. he should try it out.