Reading up on the history of food riots for no reason.

Becoming Amish but for any newly invented acronyms. I will not be participating in any acronyms that did not exist before 2026.

The question isn’t Will I get Happy Mothers Day-ed?, rather How many times will I get Happy Mothers Day-ed?

Signing all legal documents with “Have a great summer!”

Kinda feeling like the whole Met Gala red carpet isn’t helping arts education. Feels a lot like going to the moon while everyone’s waiting until their next paycheck to fix their car.

Rom com idea- Frankly Frankenstein I’ll work out the details later

Would I feel bad about my neck if I hadn’t read Nora Ephron? Is this a chicken and (diminishing) egg situation?

Royal Tenenbaums feels culturally pre-9/11.

Riz Ahmed as Hamlet is excellent.

Go see The Drama Or Go see Riz Ahmed as Hamlet…

“Houston and Integrity? Not usually two words you hear in the same sentance.” -someone from Dallas probably

More like Hardemis 2 the way they’re comin in HARD

Really love this Marcie/cap saga

I love a good plastic tub.

Reading the word “moon” in Sampson’s voice for the rest of my life.

Gettin that ‘Guette (baguette).

Mi scusi?

Slipknot masks for dogs

Still losing my shit over hearing Rainbows by Dennis Wilson in Project Hail Mary.

Doing the “watch Hamnet for the first time on the first day of my period challenge”

People should have to report for grocery store duty for two weeks a year.

Fuck Jose Sa

In love with Jessie Buckley’s dress (and all of her really).

Did they not get the gold cables for Matt Berry?

Do the “we’re sorry we sucked but not anymore!” commercials actually work?

Showing up to the Mayan Temple themed escape room with a yellow helmet, elbow and knee pads, and a purple shirt with a parrot on it.

The universe wants me to do an escape room?

Yelling “Bless You!” in the same volume and tone as the sneeze.

Gonna see The Bride tonight and I’m gonna lose my shit Chicken Jockey-style when Bale says “till death do us part”.

Got a new gadget and I’ll be making it my whole personality for the rest of the month.

You don’t see “cigarette pants” these days and I think we might’ve gone too far.

(Me getting into betting on the color of Gatorade that gets dumped on coaches) I think people should be dumping Gatorade at more events…

Peaking out of the dressing room wearing a dress my mom insisted I try on

“I wish people would stop telling me to step right up” -Marge Simpson

Someone referred to 2010 as the early 00’s and I just don’t know anything anymore.

Telling me to tell a story faster will result in me never telling a story again until I forget the whole interaction in 10 days and then we repeat the process.

That thing where you put a new air freshener in your car but you forget and every time you get in your car you get hit with that scent and you’re like OHHH YEEEAAAHHHH BAYBEEEEE

I loved the jazz intro to Knight of the Seven Kingdoms so much. The Sixteen Tons ending was good an all but that 30 seconds of jazz that hangs awkwardly then abruptly stops right when the melody is starting to get more interesting was so great and funny in a NPR listener kinda way.

Texas Biathlon where you’re skiing and shooting pistols at the same time the entire time

Thinking about Bone Temple again.

My Octopus DJ

The most important questions in reporting- Hoobastank Whatbastank Whenbastank Wherebastank Whybastank Howbastank

I really liked Wuthering Heights.

Here at ONspring we are always listening to our users and you have overwhelmingly informed us that the magnetic capabilities of ONspring babies have created negative experiences with cutlery and utensils. We are pleased to announce that a new update will make that magnetic feature optional.

The place: Spaghetti O’Malley’s The food: pasta in pint glasses

It’s Salsa week in America.

Really thinking about instituting a “Chump of the week” at work

Thoroughly enjoying the Humble Offering newsletter from @eliyudin.com to the point where I let out an “oh yay!” when I see it in my inbox on Mondays. www.humbleoffering.com/i-am-a-snow-...

Surprised Mountain Dew doesn’t have a dating app called Dew-gether.