That fart alone caused global warming. youtube.com/shorts/pFarx...

My cat usually waits till around 5:00 before he starts this shit. youtube.com/shorts/bU-nh...

It must be kind of awkward, having to meet with another world leader who undoubtedly knows that you fucked kids.

Republicans who were once outraged at Biden's inflation numbers are now saying, "Hey, that's life" to Trump's numbers. Just like Trump, they dont care if you're suffering. They got plenty of money. If you dont, that's your problem.

I found 2 of the fucking Sankara stones in my own backyard.

Last year I collected 20 full bags of food for the annual food drive. This year I collected 4. Out of the 565 households I deliver to, 4 of them participated.

The reason why hockey is the only sport to watch, as far as I’m concerned, is that it’s constant action, and you don’t see a bunch of douchebag players, wearing all sorts of bling, and giving it up for Jesus every time they score a goal.

I was introduced to Banana Ball today. It’s like baseball, only it’s a league of goofy Harlem-Globe-Trotter-like teams that do goofy stuff. The scoring is different too. I’ll be honest tho, I thought it was kinda dumb. I guess it’s more entertaining than baseball, but that’s not saying much.

When you're mostly white, but you have to roll in the dirt because you're also an idiot.

Wild beat Colorado 5 to 1 in game 3!

Pentagon says the war cost 25 billion so far, so you know it's at least twice that, and that's not even figuring in the Venezuela operation, or the drug boat stuff, or Kid Rock's Apache attack helicopter joyride.

Funny how Tucker Carlson, who once worshipped Trump, is now calling him the Antichrist. From my perspective, he's always been the same guy, a self-absorbed, megalomaniac, corrupt, fascist, dickhead, rapist, pedophile con man. If you're just now having voter's remorse, I laugh at your pain.

😂 youtube.com/shorts/efLWV...

The BlueSky app for Apple? Works great. Couldn’t be happier. The BlueSky app for Android? Slower than a three legged turtle walking backwards through molasses in January. Almost unusable.

Holy shit. My mom has to have surgery on the roof of her mouth. A two hour surgery is going to cost 7500 dollars, all out of pocket because they dont take Medicare for some reason. You could buy a decent used car for that.

Caturdays are for sleeping late.

Man, if theres anything better than sitting around a fire, getting high, and listening to Zeppelin, I dont know what it is.

Go Wild! On to round 2!

The way this SCOTUS is going, it's only a matter of time before we have Jim Crow laws again, and people are being tried for witchcraft and heresy. Dont call Republicans racist though. They get pissy about it.

Pete Hegseth gave Kid Rock a joyride in an Apache attack helicopter and then let him speak at The Pentagon. So thats where we’re at now. The U.S. military, which is paid for by the people, is now being run by a frat house, and they don’t give a shit how much it costs you.

Trump fucked children and the religious right is okay with that. They refuse to investigate this any further because it clashes with their narrative that he was appointed by God to bring back coal jobs for the end times.

I’m really surprised the mentalist who hosted the WHCD wasn’t able to foresee the shooting.

They just don’t make shows like this anymore. youtu.be/3jDh4wQmsg0?...

Never, even in my most drunken, drug induced state, would I ever think to cut the penis off a road killed raccoon that I came across. That shit is whack, yo.

Trying to re-rope the boy's cat tower and he's not helping.

Lolz 😂 Everyone else is on the floor, but this guy gives zero fucks. youtube.com/shorts/ubXm0...

I didn’t know that there was another version of this song. youtu.be/5n041M5FnqA?...

The Republican Party is so pro-life that, not only do they support the death penalty, but they also want to bring back firing squads so we can get to killing people faster. Because Jesus and The Bible and family values and such.

If I had multiple assassination attempts against me, I would stop making public appearances.

Leave it to a Republican to try and get a USA chant going after an assassination attempt. Leave it to a Republican administration to smile and laugh about almost getting killed. Have mass shootings just become so commonplace in this country that we laugh and joke about it? Nobody is shocked anymore.

Katie Miller, the woman who is married to Stephen Miller, Trump's Propaganda Minister who spray paints his bald head, says that Liberal men are childless because they're unattractive. If only I looked more like that bald headed freak, I could have kids too.

The more defensive Trump (a supposedly innocent man who has nothing to hide) gets, such as in the recent 60 Minutes interview, the more I am firmly convinced this guy fucked kids and probably even helped disappear a few of them. Trump is mafia.

WHCD shooter seems fishy to me. Trump’s response too. 🤔

It’s like the demon inside her is hurting itself by having to utter “The Lord.” youtube.com/shorts/Sht4E...

Insanely thin skinned Donald Trump cancelled an 11 million dollar contract with Catholic Charities to help house undocumented migrant children because The Pope made him mad. So Christ-like. What a petulant child. Speaking of children, did you hear Trump fucks them?

Happy 4/20 to all the cool people.

Seems like theres an awful lot of religious, conservative, Trump fans out there who are siding with Trump over The Pope, choosing Party over God. They're more pissed at people who are making fun of Trump for portraying Himself as Jesus, than they are at Trump for portraying Himself as Jesus.

He just chillin.

Democrats have been cleaning up after glory-seeking Republicans for decades, but given the mess that is being created this time, I dont know if I would even want the job. Republicans seem to really be banking on The Rapture, which I'll be honest, I hope it happens sooner than later.

If Trump gets his Nazi Arch built, I hope that thing is defaced on the regular. They're going to have to post guards to keep people from pissing on it.

I'm all about them smoothies now. You can store frozen fruit indefinitely and not have to deal with it going bad. This one here is blueberry/pineapple and it's delicious AF.

Good thing we’re raking in all that tariff money so Glorious Leader can build a Nazi Arch. Meanwhile, everything is still getting (unnecessarily) more and more expensive and people are losing critical services due to cuts. Are we great again yet?

This guy right here. 😂 They just keep getting crazier and crazier. Trump has the best people. I’m guessing he’s just frequently black out drunk and doesn’t remember how he got the Waffle House. www.esquire.com/news-politic...

Now Trump is bashing the Pope and posting memes of himself as Jesus. As if Jesus was a super rich real estate developer with mob ties and a penchant for fucking children.

Boy, YouTube REALLY wants me to buy a hyperbaric chamber lately. I don’t understand why. I have literally never searched for hyperbaric chambers.

Melanie’s sudden out of the blue presser about how she never hung out Epstein makes me think of that time her husband fucked children.

Something tells me the crew of Artemis will NOT be invited to the White House for McDonalds. youtube.com/shorts/LEf2y...

The only First Lady we’ve ever had who can be seen fully naked and engaged in girl on girl stuff by anyone claims she knew nothing about Epstein. Sorry, you don’t suddenly realize that your longtime friend is a baby eating, satanist pedophile. Birds of a feather. youtu.be/TEHVvBCWEfA?...

Hockey used to be so much more hard core back in the day, and probably nobody was more hard core than Terry Sawchuck. youtu.be/_dlX0vY_2nU?...

Bath night, because this dingbat had to roll in the dirt.