New Substack up. A civics reminder that politicians are meant to be treated like sausages in bread... consumed with mild scepticism and absolutely no emotional attachment. Worshipping them is deeply un-Australian and will probably give you the shits. open.substack.com/pub/snarkygh...

It’s time we had a proper look at the real game being played. Forget Monopoly... this is Australian Property Grift Edition: where negative gearing is a religion, land banking wins the day, and migrants cop the blame while a million homes sit empty. open.substack.com/pub/snarkygh...

If the RBA lifts rates on Tuesday, you already know who’ll be screaming the loudest... the parties who spent years voting for tax cuts for the rich, blocking housing, and propping mega-profits. I’ve put together a pre-emptive fact-check on the Libs and One Nation: open.substack.com/pub/snarkygh...

My thoughts on Australia Day tomorrow...

No, One Nation is not replacing the Nationals. One Nation does not want their role or their responsibilities. One Nation feeds on volatility and grievance. The Nationals require stability, incumbency, and negotiated relevance. open.substack.com/pub/snarkygh...

Absolute Aussie legend Colin Hay... immigrant and co-writer of Down Under, has told March For Australia to rack off. The song’s about multiculturalism, unity, and joy. Not for weaponising by galahs in flag capes yelling about “real Aussies”. “Go write your own song. Leave mine alone.”

Remember... the same media apparatus gaslighting you into believing One Nation is “surging”… …also spent half the year flogging the fantasy that Peter Dutton was on track to be our next Prime Minister, during the lead up to the last election, only to serve up the worst defeat since Federation.

Another day, another ‘Pauline for PM’ fantasy built on vibes, screenshots, and a heroic misunderstanding of polling. Here’s what the latest numbers actually say... and why One Nation’s ‘surge’ is just noise in a shrinking echo chamber. open.substack.com/pub/snarkygh...

Greenland and the vanishing Art of the Deal. open.substack.com/pub/snarkygh...

A deeper look at Trump, Venezuela, and the Nixon logic MAGA supporters don't want to admit is back in fashion. Really keen for feedback as I fumble through this new platform... if there’s appetite, I’ll keep making more. open.substack.com/pub/snarkygh...

Thanks for the love. From an MP to minds sharper than mine... your support is strength. I’ve made my case to FB; they’re “looking into it.” But maybe this was meant to be. The shove I needed to diversify. To build something broader. Harder to kill. Onward.

Snarky Gherkin was unpublished by Facebook for “impersonation.” Apparently being a cartoon pickle with opinions is too much for the algorithm. Appeal lodged. Updates soon. #FreeTheGherkin #SatireIsNotImpersonation #Zucc’d

Cookers claiming vaccines change your baby’s ethnicity because of “foreign DNA” from “baby parts.” If your kid pops out looking different, it’s not Jerry Springer time... it’s Pfizer, apparently. Cooked beyond repair.

The organiser of 'Put Australia First' - anti-migration rallies, Monica Smit has discovered what an echo-chamber is.

I've been tagged this more times than I can count. Upon further inspection, it appears they're based on VAERS database which are just self reported with no verification.

Getting ready for tomorrow’s 'March for Australia 2.0' which I expect to be underwhelming and a stirring celebration of unwashed, baffling signage, and a bloke in a Guy Fawkes mask shouting at a tram. For now... just a few beers, and a comforting glow of not being brain-dead. Cheers pickles.

Judith from Mosman is spending $500k to stop four-storey apartments near public transport. Not to fix the housing crisis, just to keep it out of her postcode. The problem isn’t migrants. It’s people like Judith deciding who gets to live near a train and who gets to commute for two hours.

Immigration isn’t the cause of the housing crisis. Dwellings have grown faster than population. The issue isn’t how many people we have... it’s that housing is treated as an asset, not shelter. Blame the system, not the people moving in.

Slurping my Thursday morning coffee, a thought occurred... The people marching this Sunday are the same ones who, not long ago, were swallowing livestock medication to fend off a virus they screamed didn’t exist. Same logic, reheated leftovers, different weekend.

New platform, same Gherkin. Let’s test the immunity of this place.