how much cocaine was Mick Fleetwood on when he agreed to this?

some days you're the exocomp. some days you're the thing the exocomp refuses to fix. other days you're just trying to fit as many exocomps into the post as you can. exocomp.

We live in a world where if I take my pants off and poop in a public place, I will go to jail. Yet if I don't take my pants off first, that's fine I guess?

when people tell me I need to step outside of my liberal echo chamber

never trust a fart after coffee bang bang

remember when you could judge someone based solely on their cd collection?

The fact I can buy a dildo shaped like Garrus Vakarian's penis but not one shaped like echo poppa 607 is irrefutable proof that capitalism has failed us.

I still can't believe Riker turned down the captain's seat on the USS Lollipop.

sunday night vs. monday morning

What happened to all those MILFs in my area that wanted to meet?

Two million Americans file for bankruptcy each year, sixty-six percent of whom do so because of crippling medical debt, but Tom Holland and Zendaya are engaged so, ya know, we got that going for us.

After nearly thirty years of cohabitation, my wife saw me shake my penis after urinating for the first time and things are changed between us.

The best part of farmers markets is how cutting out the middle man makes fruit more expensive.

Can you boof sudafed?

I learned today that mushrooms are neither animal or plant, but have characteristics of both and now I'm slightly uneasy.

I wish Star Trek: Insurrection was a better movie because people are using that word a lot today and it feels like getting flicked in the balls twice every time.

Is it still procrastination if you never actually do the thing?

Turned on the news this morning for the first time in a couple of months. It went off again ten minutes later after his name came up no fewer than a dozen times. I suppose the anniversary of the day he tried to overthrow the government was not the best day for this experiment.