14 meetings today. 14 meetings tomorrow. This is turning into one of those saturated weeks.

Ooh, my 2nd CD purchased in what ... 15+ years? arrives today. A few weeks ago I had to buy a CD of Costello Music by the Fratellis: Apple Music has removed multiple tracks in Australia (I'd previously purchased the full album back in the iMusic days -- well before streaming). Then, somehow, I […]

[bedroom shenanigans] Well my bedroom shenanigans while my husband is away has started with an early 20s guy who needed to be blown. He must have really needed it because he had me keep going after shooting – twice, giving me three loads over the course of 20 minutes. Ah, the advantages of youth!

I can't say how much I love this album. I don't know how I discovered it last year but it became my top-played album for the year. There's something serene and ethereal about it, and when I'm feeling overloaded from bouncing between sometimes a dozen or more work meetings in a day, finding time […]

My husband goes away for a week starting today, and I got into my office a little after 3am this morning to a going-away note that he wrote overnight for me. Amongst other details, he's told me to make sure I spare some time from work for debauched bedroom shenanigans while he's away […]

If the Pilates class only has four people in it and two are bears, does that make it a bearlates class? I think so.

Used my last royalty cheque for something different. I definitely like the weight of this!

My offsite is over, so I get to go back to regularly scheduled crazy hours. Ordinarily I'd say that I'm going to use some time on the weekend after an offsite to catch up – but I've worked most weekends since the start of the year and my husband is going away next week, starting Sunday afternoon […]

Hah: anniversary day. 8 months since my last drink. Joyous that I've not missed it once.

Heading up to 3am and trying to build some energy for the final remote offsite day. Non-stop meetings from 3am to ~11am/12pm have a particular intensity. So kicking of the day with the raw energy of Gin Wigmore. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmh0Qf-SSow

If you want to learn more about #hypnokink and #erotichypnosis at #Darklands, there are several Masterclasses to choose from this year! Mine are on Wednesday at 18:30 (https://darklands.be/masterclasses/erotic-hypnosis/) and Sunday at 11:00 ( […]

Waiting to be served at our butcher and a tattooed, dreadlocked tradie ends up in line behind us. When we get to the car: Husband: “Was he all right behind us?” Me: “Yeah he could have had a starring role in a production of Dreadilocks and The Two Bears if he’d wanted.”

Cold, cloudy and windy day out (my kind of preferred weather), which now that the sun has finally risen I'm getting to see from my home office window. The olive tree is swaying in the breeze in the front yard and birds are hunting around in the lawn for grubs and other interesting things. Peaceful.

I've been reflecting much on a recent read, "The Philosophy of Shame" by Frédéric Gros. The title might suggest otherwise, but it was a breakthrough for me on being able to better embrace my fetishes. Why/how? It covers many areas where shame is important, personally & societally. But it helps […]

Offsite: "Good news everybody! We've decided to start it at 8am PST tomorrow instead of 9am PST." Me: <sighs in changing-alarm-from-3am-to-2.30am> Look, I'll probably be up anyway, but it's still an ouch-level change 😂

Offsite: everyone going through their personality types. Three cheers for all the introverts who do jobs where they're doing 5, 10, 15 meetings a day. (I'm in this photo.)

Suddenly Monday and a new week again. This will feel like a long week – a 3 day leadership offsite I'm doing remotely, which means Tue-Thu I'm doing 4am and midday in non-stop meetings (and I'll still have other stuff to do each day as well). But! I'm going into the week still feeling on cloud […]

Well, after a few yeras without it, I'm back to a mohawk. Short (less than a cm) for now, but it feels good to have it back again. For reference, this was my mohawk in 2018 – about 6 months before my wedding. (I used to love going into customer meetings over huge deals with a fully done up mohawk.)

Saturday afterevening listening. Such a great cover of Creep. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZoHuoFQyrI

[Fetish exploration, hypnosis] 1/ The second intense and completely new experience for me yesterday was having a hypnosis session with Master David (@HairyHypnotist ). Despite being very interested in hypno for over a decade, I hadn’t felt comfortable doing it until I recently “came out” to my […]

[intense sexual descriptions (multi-post)] 1/ About 2 months ago, my husband had a hookup with one of the most remarkably sexy men I’d ever seen. And by his accounts, the session was a joyously physical encounter. Then about a month ago, I managed to meet the man and have the same experience […]

Work day weirdness: have back to back meetings running from 4.30am to 9.30am this morning which is why at 3am I'm just about to head out for my morning walk so I get some movement in before it all starts.

[chastity] The new chastity cage has arrived. While the previous one was a lovely weighty metal, this one is 3D printed so significantly lighter – which I guess has benefits in itself, but I had grown to like the weight of the other. With a backwards flaring base ring this one seems to fit & […]

[Selfie] Had to do a camera-on 1:1 intro meeting today so I actually took the time out to use my beard straightener so I took a quick snap for beard length review. Oh, and I realised my office curtain is a good backdrop for selfies!

Blast from the past: hunting around for something different to listen to this morning before my first meeting. Before I really thought about it, I'd put on "Beggars and Saints" by "Jai Uttal and the Pagan Love Orchestra". It's funny how life is about memories, asnd for me, music often channels […]

First meeting not until 7.30am this morning (wow, what's going on?). So set my alarm for 3.30am instead of the usual 3. Normally I'd get up any time I wake up after 2am. This morning I tried a technique of "giving myself permission" to go back to sleep when I woke briefly a bit before 2am. Must […]

Random lessons: "Being in chastity is a great way of learning which of your shorts/pants are too tight."

Had to do a Jung personality test today for a work "fun facts about yourself" session next week. Going to replace the generated claptrap with "Chaotic Good" as my personality type.

Working on chastity sparks interesting thoughts in terms of where I'd love hypnosis to take me. The cage I'm using currently doesn't fit all the time & I don't even see chastity as a permanent thing anyway. But even when I don't have the cage on I find I still think along those lines. Likewise […]

Awww. My husband gave me this hand-made card when he got up this morning.

[sex, chastity] I had my first in-chastity hookup this week. It was a remarkably intense experience - a BJ, but the guy was very much into me being caged and having a guy tapping his hard cock on my cage created a very nice dom/sub encounter feeling. He got into it enough that he even called me […]

As a hairy man who has had a bunch of ECG cables connected to him a number of times over the past 18 months, today I had the best experience at a cardiologist – whatever stickers they used were designed for very temporary attaching and so came off without any yelping or swearing on my part. Nice!

Oh yeah, it's time for that yearly oops when I realise it's valentine's day tomorrow and we have nothing planned. Well, that marks 30 years of it, so at least I'm consistent! 😂

There are days I could really use some self-trigger option where tapping myself in the middle of the forehead is a signal for me to dump stress and do some deep breathing for a couple of minutes.

In a rare turn of events my first meeting this morning isn't until 6.30am, so I let myself sleep in. Normally my alarm is set for 3am and I end up waking/getting up anywhere as early as 2am. Set the alarm for 3.30am and didn't get up until a few minutes before that. I'm counting that as a […]

Most of my meetings are pretty convivial even when there are passionate different takes on what should/shouldn't be done. So it's always a surprise when I land in meeting when people are being outright prickly. Did not need this in a 4am first meeting of the day.

[Thankfully not in a work chat.] Autocorrect just changed "nice and relaxing" to "nice and releasing" in a text I sent someone. Like, I guess that's relaxing, but it wasn't quite the message I was trying to send.

What I love about deciding to fully embrace my sub side this year is that just generally talking to a dom guy – or hearing/seeing "good boy" from them instantly makes me feel happier and more relaxed.

If you could smell the woodsmoke beard oil you’d probably say “grrr”. 😂

Random Saturday morning thoughts after sleeping in until 3.30am and relaxing over a few coffees for a couple of hours: I’m always incredibly impressed by people who can wink using either eye. (I can only wink my right eye.)

Sure sex is good but what about the feeling you get when your multi-hour 4am Saturday morning gets cancelled?

Me: "Please don't set that meeting to 4pm, I'll have been working since 3.30am that day." Them: "OK." <sets meeting to 4.30pm>

Sheer joy.

Into the "brain is weird" bucket: - Yes, definitely have multi-sensory aphantasia - Yes, definitely have dyscalculia Neither bothered me. But as it seems increasingly obvious that I also have some level of SDAM ... that's the bit that's annoying me. More "how to compensate for weird brain" […]

Technically on a Monday morning I can never have an early morning call because it's still US Sunday, but for consistency I still get up at the same time. So that's why I'm sitting in my office having a coffee/still being a sleepy boy before it's even 3am on Monday morning.

"Dear user, this is a coin operated abyss. To blink into the abyss, please insert any copper coin. To look briefly into the abyss, please insert a dollar coin. Staring into the abyss is charged at $2 per minute. Staring into the abyss for more than 30 minutes may result in a hypnotic trance.."

I mean, what’s the problem? I don’t object. #gaybear

Sundays are special days because the coffee is all for me and not about frantically trying to wake up for a 3am (or similar) meeting. Sure, I’ve still been awake since 3am, but it’s a waaaay different feeling.

[Selfie] Decided after 18+ months of just winging it myself at home to go and get a barber’s attention on my beard. Which always makes me uncomfortable because I feel I should be using my time for more important things given my normal stress levels. But here we are.

When you have to argue to get an 8.30am Saturday meeting moved to 5.30am so it doesn’t get in the way of actual weekend activities…