Coming in to land today and I hear ATC talk to an aircraft taxiing: “I have not cleared you to enter that taxi way. It is deliberately closed for bomb disposal. Please vacate as quick as possible” Was not expecting that!

365 days straight of learning Dutch. That’s a whole year! May I have citizenship now please? #dutch #netherlands #language #learning #learningdutch

I’m cooking dinner today. Can confirm the smoke alarm still works.

Coming to a show near you soon

Things I have learnt today

Nope, no idea. Answers on a postcard please.

The UK is actually going ahead with Trumps second state visit? I am so ashamed of this country at times.

I’ve been away for a week - what have I missed?

Very excited to announce I’ll be back in Amsterdam in two weeks and will be a guest at the sensational Amsterdam Magic Show @amsterdammagic on 9 July Tickets available now from www.amsterdam-magic.com

Wow - what a night! A packed house at the Museum Of Comedy. Huge thank you to everyone that came. Massive thank you to the always brilliant Ian Rowland for being the perfect opening act and, of course, to Michelle who does so much to keep me on the rails. And now to rest as I’m knackered!

This is happening TOMORROW! Still some tickets available, grab yours now and come and have a super fun evening with me and my special guest, the brilliant Ian Rowland Show starts 8.30pm at the wonderful @museum_of_comedy in London Tickets available from museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Don’t delay, get your tickets now. You won’t regret it, promise! museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

THIS SATURDAY - PLEASE COME! At Museum Of Comedy. also the fab Ian Rowland, great venue, memorabilia from great names in comedy & a bar! Everything you need - laughs, gasps & a low ticket price. Come, bring friends, tell friends, please! Tickets: museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Come see me at the fabulous @museumofcomedy.bsky.social , it’ll be fun, promise! Tickets: museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Super low price tickets: museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Have you got your tickets yet? museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Cartman is not wrong, it’s going to be great! Me, special guest Ian Rowland, there’s a bar and the tickets are a super low price. What’s not to like? Please come, we promise you’ll have a great evening. Tickets available now from museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

One off show at the wonderful Museum Of Comedy on 21 June with special guest Ian Rowland - both of us for the super low price of just £12. Please come, it’ll be fun, promise! Tickets from: museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Two more dresses now with pockets. A magicians (needle) work is never done.

In case you missed it, I’m doing a one off show on 21 June at Museum Of Comedy. It’ll be fun, promise. Please come! Tickets: museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/... I’ll also be joined by Ian Rowland who will wow you with his own special brand of magic. Two great acts, just £12 - book now!

Listening to the political reporting following yesterday’s elections and I am genuinely worried for the future.

In case you weren’t aware, I’m doing a one off show at the wonderful Museum Of Comedy on 21 June. Please come, I promise it’ll be fun! museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Very excited to announce a one off public show! Come see me on Saturday 21 June at the iconic Museum Of Comedy in the heart of London. Tickets are just £12 (plus fees I’m sure). Don’t delay, grab a ticket now from museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/...

Happy Easter

This is how amazing my wife is - I have been learning Dutch for nearly a year. Today I found out she has also been secretly learning Dutch so I can practice conversation. How amazing is that?

I’m hoping there’s a Jack Bauer type character working like crazy behind the scenes and any moment now the Orange Idiot is going to be arrested and the world saved.

I am honoured to be the guest on this weeks The Magic Word Podcast. If you want to listen to me chatting for an hour you can get it from@wherever you get podcasts or direct from www.themagicwordpodcast.com Huge thanks to Scott Wells for asking me.

Just got back online after a few days with no signal to find my International Women’s Day post mansplained to me. Sometime irony can be too ironic for its own good.

For International Women’s Day I present this annual post

Just seen the Trump / Zelensky meeting. Oh my god. That was utterly disgusting behaviour. Proving once and for all that he is nothing but a classless bully that hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing. Absolutely appalling. Every American should be thoroughly ashamed

It’s a posh one tonight! Headlining Comedy At The Griffioen in Amsterdam. Lovely way to end this little trip. #comedyatthegriffioen #amsterdam #comedy #magic

Oh my crikey, what an amazing night! Three utterly brilliant acts and me, a beautiful venue and an incredible audience. We are all on cloud nine. Thank you to everyone that made tonight so special. #comedy #standup #livecomedy #entertainment #comedyshow #mondaynightlaughs #comedyinamsterdam

The only time the incredible efficiency of the Netherlands public transport is an issue is when you’re on the wrong damn platform!

Has anyone considered that Trump has just got confused and actually mixed up Zalensky and Putin? Surely there’s no other sensible explanation?

Right, how do we train the algorithm here? Threads was just starting to come together before we moved over to here. My timeline here is odd, irrelevant madness. How do I train it?

Oh my crikey! Please let this be true

February is finally here! Not long ‘til I’m back in the Netherlands. Can’t wait! 22 - ImproAmsterdam impro-amsterdam.nl/events/works... 23 - Mad Cow Comedy madcowcomedy.nl/tickets/ 24 - Monday Night Laughs mnl.eventbrite.com 25 - Griffioen Comedy Club griffioen.vu.nl/voorstelling...

When a company gets too large and powerful, many places call for it to be broken down into smaller sections. Maybe this is what should happen to US so the ‘sensible states’ can break free from the insanity?

In a moment of nostalgia I fired up the 3D software I used to use many years ago. Still remember how to make things, can’t remember how to texture properly though. Maybe in another 15 years I’ll paint it!

Just listened to Prime Ministers Questions for the first time in a while. What is the point of it? No real questions asked, no real answers given, nothing at all achieved. Absolute waste of time.

I’m not saying I’m excited to be back in the Netherlands in a few weeks but I’ve already started packing! :-)

Mourning America

Excited to be back in Netherlands next month. If you are too it’ll be lovely to see you. 22 Feb ImproAmsterdam impro-amsterdam.nl/events/works... 23 Feb Mad Cow Comedy madcowcomedy.nl/tickets/ 24 Feb Monday Night Laughs mnl.eventbrite.com 25 Feb Griffioen Comedy Club griffioen.vu.nl/voorstelling...

Ooh, Nadine Dories is on Question Time. This’ll be fun… for all the wrong reasons.

This should be funny but it’s probably close to the truth

Watching the insanity being reported from the US today from the incoming Felon, the X madman and the Meta boss. Mix in the insanity of Putin and World War III is looking more likely with every passing day :-(

Right, how does this work?