"Before I was president, most you could do is four. That's it. No more than four christmases per family. Now you can do 5, 9, 15 however many christmases you want. Vince Vaughn, he supports me. Reese too, Legally Blonde, how bout that. Eight Christmases minimum, from now on. That's affordability."

Faherty men's clothes are comfy but I worry they'll get me canceled for appropriating "open marriage in Santa Fe" culture

Brass instruments have entered the chat

"Goodbye To All That" by Bill Ackman

Eat shit Cuomo! (Cuddle your little fuzzy buddies Sliwa!)

As far as some of these elections go, it’s anybody’s game

Confession: Remember that “It’s Negroni Season” post on Gawker? I never got why that was a weird thing to say. He was an alcoholic and she should’ve left him, sure. But also, it WAS Negroni season.

Phanatic phorever

HOW DID THIS NOT WORK

If New Yorkers seem unsettled for a while, we're adjusting to the idea of a mayor who doesn't think his job is to just say the weirdest shit you ever heard in your life and do every single crime

Just a couple of cool dudes

Better get started on my re-listen of the series before the finale

New McLusky! It is good! (This has been today’s edition of Middle Aged Man Excitements)

Saw the new Jason Statham movie and it just reaffirmed some things for me. Im sorry if you feel differently about this but my mind is made up. Russian mafia guys are just not good guys! (Don’t @ me)

So many questions to answer. Like did someone lift Scott Glenn's chair back up? And... no that's it I guess

Goddammit I love you NY Times

Going to be so weirded out if I ever meet someone who watched "The Electric State"

If I was a serial killer I would just stop and try to find something to do that's less toxic

They're onto me

Bro do you even support free markets and personal liberties?

I have a new post up on my substack. Please read it and subscribe to it and whatever else you want to do with it it's all yours

My single straight guy friends are feeling pretty despondent about dating. On the apps women are all saying they want a "manly, macho Mark Zuckerberg type." They're blowing thousands on spaghetti thin gold chains, bushy hair extensions, spray-on rosacea tinting, and pectoral liposuction

Juror #2 (2024)

I’ve been told by most parents that this has replaced ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas as the story their kids demand to hear at Xmas eve bedtime so here’s the link again

Stay in the place whose owner forces his every moronic thought in front of your face to avoid “echo chambers”

All the Ethicist Qs for the past month have been like "I saw a house on fire and it was full of children but there was a trump sign on the lawn so I let them burn, am I bad?

Hi. If you don't already, please subscribe to my substack. Here's a new post, it is festive.

Got kicked out of Bingo night for shouting "I didn't have that on my bingo card!" every time they said a number that wasn't on my bingo card [this site's for 2013 tweets right?]

Not trying to ruin the positive vibe here but I think we should storm the capitol who's in