Honey I Shrunk The Carters

The thing everyone needs to understand about Tylenol is that Trump is a useless cunt.

Hold up. So the dude who has raped women and children is now concerned about women and children? Getthefuckouttahere.

Since the Moron-In-Chief has outlawed Antifa we will now be called The Resistance. Cool?

My mom took a bottle of Tylenol everyday when she was pregnant with me and I grew up to hate Donald Trump.

Finally decided what to wear to my first rapture. I'm not sure what to expect.

If this administration cared about all people who are victims of gun violence as they do.....oh nevermind

And also I'm tired of feeling angry all the time.

I just came from that cesspool twitter. Can you smell it on me?

The person who will earn my vote for President is the one who can make television commercials the same volume as the program I'm watching.

I hate Trump and I will not mourn Kirk and nobody can make me do otherwise.

I've ended wars too. The war of ass vs. couch cushion. I got up and did the dishes.

"I wish, that for only one day, Republicans couldn't tell a lie"

Instead of touching grass I smoked grass and heyyyyyyyyyyy

Is this where everyone is hanging out?

This week had been all about learning things about white supremacist assholes that you never cared to know.

What a trip.

I haven't smoked for 18 months today. Aren't I pretty.

I may have lost the will to live but the will to eat a pint of ice cream for breakfast has taken it's place so I'm doing ok.

I envisioned the end more like a sudden explosion instead of this slow motion car wreck we're living through.

* feeling it with my whole being * I will never forgive the monsters responsible for voting that orange bastard into the oval office

50 years ago. Summer before starting junior high. Standing in line over and over again to see it. The birth of the Summer box office movies. You had to be there.

You don't "win" if I block you. I cut your horseshit out of my life and go on without thinking about you ever again.

If you're reading this, congratulations on surviving 10 years of putting up with that piece of shit trump and his garbage family.

We could have had this parade

..... And the worst part of this is we get to wake up to this nonsense every day for the next three and a half years....

NOT tackled and handcuffed

In the recent past both Newsome and Whitmer were "nice" to trump so he quickly figured out ways to fuck them over. I hope the rest of the Democrat governors are paying attention.

News Headline Today: Donald Trump Accused Of Inciting Violence With Chilling New Rhyme Jake Tapper Today: But Joe Biden.....

This is what the skin between your anus and genitals looks like

That piece of shit Donald Trump got away with the Jan 6th insurrection and is responsible for the chaos in California. How is that MOTHERFUCKER not in prison???

It looks like it's time again to remind people that there are Democrats living in red states. People like to say shit about red states as if blue people don't matter. Keep it up motherfuckers. I'll never vote for a Republican but the way some of y'all like to insult us is wearing real thin.

Zero drama. Zero felonies. Zero convictions. 100% living rent free in trumps brain.

I'm suffering from Oligarchy Spat Withdrawal. I need more spatting.

I have a new refrigerator being delivered today which means I have to put a bra on. The little acts of kindness I perform.

Everybody saw the musk-trump dust up coming. Calm down. You're not psychic.

Elon over at that other place....

I mean, even if they remove his name Harvey Milk will always be remembered as a great man where Pete Hegseth will not.

I just sneezed six times in a row without peeing my pants so that means I am now your Queen.

Just got done praying and Jesus said Joni Ernst is a dick.

TACO is cute and all but I'm just gonna keep calling him MOTHERFUCKER if that's okay with you.

....and then I said "if that motherfucker were dead I'd probably be able to sleep again". It was a good talk.

If you're a piece of shit you're a trump supporter and if you're a trump supporter you're a piece of shit. My math maths.

It was so obvious he was sick as fuck.

I'm not mad. I'm jealous that I didn't think about becoming President so I could get a free jet & have America pay for it to be modified. I'm also upset that I could have been a legalized criminal if only I had dreamed bigger.

An insurance adjuster is coming to look at my bathroom floor damage due to a leak. I have combed my hair & brushed my teeth before noon. Please clap.

The thing you need to remember if you feel compelled to criticize Joe Bidens cancer diagnosis is, at the end of the day, it's none of your fucking business.

I was just at the other place and Jake Tapper has retweeted other people's well wishes to Biden but hasn't himself wished Biden well. Bury that motherfucker in bad press.

Sometimes it doesn't look like there's any movement or impact on current affairs going on in social media. But I know a lot of you bitches are like me and you take notes and hold grudges for just the right moment. This is a warning to those people who are being dicks.