Social media rule #1: The moment you figure out how a platform works, it changes.

Them: "Hey, I'm not a social media expert, but..." Social media manager:

There's nothing louder than a silent truth. WWF didn't overload you with stats. They made you look twice at cocoa, tuna, noodles, coffee... and see what lies beneath. The face of a species that disappears with every purchase. Your snack has a side effect. Your habits have a habitat cost.

You haven't really worked in social media until a client says "just make it go viral" with a straight face.

Marketing and Legal when it's time to "align" on the campaign.

POV: Client approves the social content with no revisions.

The unofficial social media mantra: "No, the link in the Instagram caption doesn't work. Yes, I know. Yes, still."

Without a doubt, the best thing about working in social media is that no one (absolutely no one) ever tells you how to do your job.

Actual footage of a social media manager reviewing yesterday's metrics.

Me after responding 'Sounds good' to an email that ruined my day.

The 5 stages of every marketing launch: 1️⃣ Denial: "We have months. No stress." 2️⃣ Procrastination: "Let's circle back next week." 3️⃣ Chaos: "Wait... why isn't anything done?" 4️⃣ Panic: "WE NEED MORE TIME!" 5️⃣ Launch day magic: "We did it. We are geniuses!" Relatable? 👀

"We need this to go viral." Of course you do, Steve. Because nothing gets people talking like… a product roadmap update.

Being a social media manager means thinking in memes before words. Yes, this is a skill. Yes, I'm proud of it.

You haven't really worked in social media until you've scheduled a post for the wrong client... and realized it five minutes too late.

"Working in marketing must be so much fun."

Why did the SEO expert break up with PPC? Because he wanted something organic and long-term.

What happens when a pencil brand borrows from Apple's playbook? Faber-Castell hijacked one of Apple's most iconic campaigns (Shot on iPhone) and somehow made it even better. Shot on Faber-Castell features hyperrealistic pencil drawings that, at first glance, look like high-resolution photographs.

Repeat after me: B2B marketing doesn't have to be boring.

Ever wonder what corporate speak really means? Here's your translation guide. "Let's align on this" = You have to agree with me. "It's a stretch goal" = This will never happen, but thanks for the effort. "Let's circle back" = This will never be discussed again.

Me waiting to be let into the Zoom meeting.

When Legal approves the caption of your social post without a single edit.

From now on this will be my new email intro: "I hope this email dramatically changes the course of your day."

That black slice? Yes, it should have been smaller. Viral posts are built on insights, not instincts.

You share the 13th version of a social asset. The feedback you get from your client:

Want an SEO joke? I've got a high-ranking one for you. An SEO marketer walks into a restaurant, diner, café, bistro, eatery, food joint, fine dining, casual dining, best restaurants near me...

You open your LinkedIn DMs: "Hi! I wanted to reach out because I just drank water and I'm guessing you hydrate too. Got 30 min to chat today?"

Focus beats FOMO. Social media success isn't about being everywhere—it's about being in the right place with the right content. Just because a platform exists doesn't mean you have to be on it. If you're posting everywhere and getting nowhere, here's why:

The five stages of "Can we hop on a quick call?" panic. 1️⃣ Denial: It's fine. It's just a quick call... right? 2️⃣ Dread: Frantically checks emails, Slack and soul for any mistakes. 3️⃣ Bargaining: Maybe it's good news? Maybe I'll get a raise?

Born to move at the speed of culture, forced to watch social trends die in legal limbo.

Things a social media manager loves to hear: - It's perfect. No edits needed. - Surprise! There will never be another algorithm update. - I'd love to be featured on your TikTok. - Adam Mosseri has officially quit. - You're the expert. Do what you think is best. What else?

6 months out: "Plenty of time!" 5 months out: "Still good." 4 months out: "No rush." 3 months out: "We should start thinking about this." 2 months out: "Okay, let's get moving." 1 month out: "Oh, no." 2 weeks out: "Full panic mode." 1 week out: "Nobody sleep." Launch day: "We are marketing gods."

Marketing launches are 10% strategy, 90% surviving last-minute "tiny tweaks" that change everything.

Marketing, Day 1: "This job is so much fun!" Marketing, Year 3: "If one more person asks me to 'make it pop'..."

Social media in 2025: If your post doesn't have a hook, a list, a mildly unhinged take and at least one ✨ completely unnecessary emoji ✨—did you even post?

"We trust your expertise. Do what you think is best." The compliment every marketer dreams of receiving. Okay, maybe a little unrealistic. But hey, it's World Compliment Day. We can dream.

When a post from six months ago suddenly goes viral for no reason.

Donrjvejadsñlvsnnb obxntiscbnpe riolaaddv cecanxcvdv vfaibsebsc No, my cat didn't walk across my keyboard. That's how your social media sounds when you're just posting for the sake of posting. No strategy. No plan. Just vibes. Hope your audience enjoys decoding gibberish.

Marketing is just sprinting from deadlines while budget cuts and last-minute changes chase you. 🏃💨

Nothing haunts a PR pro more than: 👻 "Just a couple of small tweaks..." 👻 "Legal had a few minor edits." 👻 "Can we rework the angle slightly?" And just when you think it's done… "Attaching a new version with some additional thoughts." 💀💀💀

Nothing screams "I work in marketing" like saying "I have capacity" and then finding yourself proofreading a 47-slide deck at 11 PM on a Sunday.

McDonald's didn't need a product shot to make a great ad. They just needed one insight: hungry drivers = impatient drivers. 🚗 "Drive safe. Never hungry." Sell the feeling, not just the food. Because great branding isn't about showing your product, it's about owning a moment.

🚨 PSA: "Because our competitors are doing it" is not a marketing strategy.

Weeks of planning. Endless approvals. Marketing campaign launches. Client: "Okay, but what if…" Ah yes, the sacred tradition of post-launch creative genius.

That brand that's always first with the memes but goes silent during the Super Bowl. Someone check on them!

No, social media managers don't "just" post. They: 📢 Shape your brand's entire personality—yes, even the CEO's "thought leadership" posts 📈 Turn likes and shares into actual revenue (while dodging every algorithm change) 👀 Read customer sentiment like a mind reader (but with better data)

Oh, absolutely! I was really hoping for a last-minute panic attack before happy hour. 🍹🍹

A brand marketer sees a narrative. A B2C marketer sees an experience. A B2B marketer sees a pipeline. A PPC marketer sees a conversion. A CMO sees projections. Too many marketers see a moving target. A CEO just wants to see the money.

Saying "We need better collaboration " is like saying "We need world peace." It's true, but... what does it mean? Saying "Right now, we’re an orchestra where everyone’s playing a different song"? Now that's felt. Don't just write. Paint a vivid picture.

Want to write copy that converts? Say something only you can say. If your competitor could copy-paste your tagline, it's weak. ❌ "We make the best software solutions for businesses." (Yawn!) ✅ "Slack replaced email. We're replacing Slack." (Now that's bold!) Great copy stands out.

Hearing 'What do you think?' on Zoom while you're deep in a WhatsApp chat.