It's funny how I start with one thing and share, and then my brain remembers a time years ago, so I share that time, and then I keep going and going and now here I am ❤️

Unfortunately, that whole experienced has fucked me up, because now, as I have autism and possibly other things (need to be diagnosed), thanks to that fucker, I now feel for me, having "help" is a disservice to me. My mom forced me to qualify for disability because she believed I couldn't be-

my then shitty therapist at that time also realized she fucked up and changed her tune super fast 💀

I never wanted to stay at my dad's, but I'm so glad I did it, even though it ended with me eventually moving out and going NC with him. BUT my mom saw how happy I was the first few weeks, and from there, she realized she fucked up. She changed since then.

when I think back on my past, I know I do not regret what I did. Yes, airing the dirty laundry on FB does not sound mature, BUT I know, I tried everything reasonable, I tried talking to my family, many times, I tried to do what I felt were smart choices but didn't go through...

I also was at one point, anti-therapy / counseling due to a terrible therapy experience, basically my family made me see a therapist that constantly dehumanized me and tried to tell me I'll never be capable in life, and my family just... assuming I was the problem 🫠

I started counseling around the same time I started my current job because my last two jobs have destroyed my mental health 🫠

realizing now I forgot to ask my counselor on her thoughts on a topic, oops I guess work and family is still more important lol

just eating chocolate instead of being productive on this Saturday morning / early afternoon

From what my mom told me, her cousin was being buried today, and my mom's aunt (my great-aunt) was overwhelmed with grief from losing her son. My mom guided her to the grave of great aunt's husband, who died 12 years ago, so great-aunt could talk to her deceased husband.

found out the Boy and the Heron is rated pt-13 my nephews were with me + watching the film they previously refused to watch The Mummy because of the age rating 🫠

I currently believe the boy in the movie was either hallucinating or daydreaming as a result of coping with multiple things (death of his mom, moving to a new home, his aunt is his stepmom). The movie did kinda make it clear the fantasy was also reality, but still 😅

saw The Boy and the Heron last night, I can say proudly I did not fall asleep (worked about 10 hours then went straight to a movie lol). Anyways SIL fell asleep midway, then she woke up and the credits were rolling 😅

another day on FB where we argue over the meaning of gentle parenting, again 🫠 Gentle parenting is authoritative parenting, not permissive parenting, but there are people who do confuse gentle parenting with permissive parenting, it happens...

gonna try to see The Boy and the Heron after work today, idk how well that'll go cuz I sleep early like an old lady 😴

Final Fantasy Adventure (aka Mana 1): I fought Medusa, and insert the very sad event that came right after...

Peak was an experience. As I struggle with first person POV, ofc I struggled hard lmao

There was a showing for Spirited Away last month and unfortunately, it was a day that I had a migraine so I refused to go 🥲

there is an opportunity to see The Boy and the Heron in theaters in either tomorrow or the day after. I just need to be in good health (physically and mentally) to pull through and make it to actually being there 😅

Thought today was gonna be absolutely crazy but... we came out fine ❤️

I was gifted an iced cap so now I'm awake past my bedtime 🌈

I also think too, because no one who knows me personally knows my bsky (as far as I know), I also feel safer in sharing my most vulnerable moments without the judgy von judgy comments from family who just don't get it.

Bluesky: my personal journal where I share the worst of myself and hopefully I can look back and see how far I've grown.

Refused to be on BC cuz I didn't wanna lessen any chance of conceiving, regardless of if I was trying or not Went on BC as of last month cuz I couldn't deal with my period cramps anymore 🙃

The chemical pregnancy I had in 2021 had effectively destroyed me and my rational thinking. It took until last month to finally begin to get my shit together.

a new habit I developed on SM, anytime I see a post use a pic and I recognize the pic as AI, I immediately press "not interested." Like it will not matter to me what the message of the post is, even if I do like it, AI image is an instant turn off for me lately.

I had to check the ByHeart formula I had at work before returning it to the parents due to the recall. Now I see all ByHeart has been recalled. Dang.

Then the backpain started so I made food to eat, so I can take meds with it 🫠

I took my BC off last night, how it's going rn: mild cramping very slow start to bleedening decent start, okay 😅

a few months, FB would show me Fortnite clips with the then added Sabrina Carpenter skins, and I vibed while jokingly going "I should play Fortnite lol" Today, FB is showing me Fortnite clips with everything the Simpsons, and I'm enjoying this and again going "I should play Fortnite lol"

this whole week: I've gone to bed and asleep around 8:30pm and wake up between 5 and 6am. Even last night, I went to bed at 8:30pm and woke up around 5:40am. It's Saturday, the first of my 3 day weekend 🫠

seeing kids wear their Halloween sweaters this week, along with a mom wearing hers, makes me feel good about my choice to wear my new Halloween shirts this week, the shirts that came one day after Halloween 🙃

we are struggling to adapt my new schedule, it seems, but we will keep going. we will get used to it lol I keep getting so tired by 7pm 🙃

me, buying clothes for children that aren't mine (but they are my work kids) cuz it makes me happy. Or it's a trauma response from a bad moment of my life years ago. But it still makes me happy

Busy day today! Candle making and wine sipping in the afternoon (except I don't drink wine) babysitting at night 👻

do I want a switch 2 just for Animal Crossing now? Yeah

My job is my passion. This year, I've really been noticing who I can comfortably talk about my love and joy to and who to stop talking to

I was thinking about replaying AC eventually (wanted to try to recreate my FLi island in AC). The upcoming update is one more reason to go back

sees news about NJ pretends to be shocked

thinking about dramatically narrating my gaming adventures, for no reason but fun lol

What game I'm playing rn (assuming irl is not too much cuz it is the holidays): Final Fantasy Adventure, the switch port for the first time.

I did not want to go on birth control, but I also got so sick and tired of trying to make my painful cramps less painful, with no success. So I went on BC. And already, I was sent home from work one day cuz apparently abdominal pain is a side effect 🙃

to be totally honest: when content creators I like are pregnant or having kids, I'm jealous because it's been what I wanted for years. But hopefully soon, but not now cuz I'm now on BC thx to my cramps 🙃

spent 100$ on Rainbow Brite stationary. I regret nothing ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤍

today: doing lots of painting just a day

babysitting adventure last night: child loves play-doh, loves Teletubbies, she even says bye bye to play doh when it's time to eat, and bye bye to each teletubbie when it's bed time 🥹

Growing up to me I guess is accepting that grandma was hella toxic, my mom failed to break the cycle when it came to me, and it's only after I left that my mom kinda figured out she too can break the cycle with her other kids. Grandma can break the cycle, but... she thinks she's too old 🙃

a tiktok I saw yesterday of a cat enjoying one of her last meals before her passing has destroyed me.

seeing an obgyn in 8 hours 🙃 my reproductive organs hate me

Revisiting a childhood memory: I was 11 and having extreme pain from cramps while at a beach with family. Family gave me a safe place for me to rest. Grandma complained at the end of the day cuz I wasn't "social enough" even though I was still recovering 🙃