It is plain as day that Iran is holding a laser pointer and Trump is a cat

#nokings pdx.

Portland #nokings

I've seen enough. The Islamic Republic of Iran defeats the United States. This is a flip.

Got it, will not congratulate . I mean, will not spread.

The DOW! The DOW! The DOW is on fire! We don't need no oil Let the Ayatollah burn Burn mothertrumper burn!

Remember, you are only allowed to say “it’s really x-o’clock” (in reference to the time change) until Tuesday morning. After that, it is strictly prohibited. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES, don’t blame me!

Let’s do some war crimes again! It’s just a feint to the left And a leap to the right-ight-ight

For the record, the only Supreme Leader I recognize is Diana Ross

Seem only fair that there should be a Spring Olympics and an Autumn Olympics

Winter Olympics primer: Luge - sliding down ice on your back Skelton - sliding down ice on your front Bobsled- sliding down ice on your ass

If this is the future of AI, we're doomed

Takeaway: Backstreet’s back. All night.

At this point, even fortune cookie writers are phoning it in

In restaurants, I’m hesitant to order anything billed as a creative take on bagels, cream cheese & low because bagels, cream cheese & lox is perfect just as it is.

Where will you be next weekend when the Melonball movie is in theaters? (I assume not a theater). I will be drying figs. Anyone know where I can get figs?

The analysis is that we should treat Trump not has a politician but as a reality TV star means… January 6 was his “Season 1 Reunion Special”.

Trump signs executive order renaming German Measles to "The Measles of America"

Seems like the EU should suggest to FIFA that maybe having the World Cup in the USA in 2026 would be like having the Olympics in the Soviet Union in 1980

Seems like Trump has a persistent issue overestimating size He see a map using the Mercator projection and he thinks Greenland is huge. That’s Greenland. He also has the same issue with Groinland.

Let's put together a DJ playlist for the convict's team once that new ballroom goes up. #MAGAPlaylist Steve Witkoff youtu.be/GGo_NTk5dGw?...

Let's put together a DJ playlist for the convict's team once that new ballroom goes up. #MAGAPlaylist Steve Witkoff youtu.be/GGo_NTk5dGw?...

Prediction: if the fat man is still alive in 2027, the GOP will depose him after a series of foreign policy, economic and (most importantly) electoral disasters. But President Eyeliner will declare current administration opponents as "Premature Anti-Trump", and will continue political war on us.

Netflix can make a sequel series to Stranger Things where the kids are now 40 and on their 3rd marriages. They can do it next year without recasting.

Excitement is building because clocks are functioning as clocks do!

My first 2026 psychic prediction is that Ice Barbie will adopt a new dog, whom she will name “Toast”. My second 2026 psychic prediction is that Toast will very closely resemble the dog in the Target department store ads.

My Spotify Age is “listens to vinyl records”

Health care costs are soaring, but all I care about is the day the Epstein White House Ballroom is completed is the day we finally we can be proud to have a worthy venue for oligarchs and billionaires — our betters.

News for shoppers, Trump admin is accusing Black Friday of being DEI. Executive order will be to rename the day Gulf of America Friday. Have a very, very white Christmas.

Today’s vocabulary verb: Regris (ree-greye); v. The act of replacing a consumed bottle of Pinot Gris in the fridge with a new bottle of Pinot Gris. I regris, You regris, He/she/it regris We regis, You regris, they regris

After WWII, no German named their boy Adolph. In 2025, no American names their boy Donald. www.babycenter.com/baby-names/m...

Pretty sure I'll wind up in Hell for this.

Old enough to remember running around the house changing clocks before the time change. As the song goes, digital killed the analog clock.

It's Halloween and I'm not wearing a costume because I'm over 10 years old and not currently in the act of protesting outside the ICE office.

Quick question: What is the IQ of someone who thinks a cognitive test for dementia is an IQ test?

Pretty comprehensive look at every reason but the obvious one: they really are racists and Nazis. www.politico.com/news/magazin...

My double-sided sign from #NoKingsPDX #nokings

#nokings Portland

All bus and transit lines toward downtown Portland are packed to capacity #nokings

I'm attending No Kings's event, “Portland Indivisible and 50501. We Say NO KINGS!” - sign up now to join me! www.mobilize.us/nokings/even...

Don't tell Kristi Gnome, but we snuck behind enemy lines to wine country in order to procure much needed provisions for war-torn Portland

Taco Dumbbell’s Epstein assertion that “it was the 90s, it was a different time, everyone was raping children” is just the kind of thing he needs to say to energize his sociopathic base.

$3.50 per avocado at Safeway. The TACO is anti-guacamole.

Saturday Afternoon Humor 🤪😜🤣

If I don't drink my two large teas every morning, I get teahydrated

This is a new one. Biblical?

Always astonished by politicians who think we are all totally invested in their fundraising and reporting deadlines.

Propose an Amendment To Delay and Disrupt the Reconciliation Bill act.indivisible.org/letter/amend...