My gift wrapping skills are truly something to behold.

Merry Christmas cuties!!!

Hear me out. A pup mask, but the wearer also sports a zoot suit. (See, Jim Carrey's "The Mask")

Ready for the family holiday function

This is 90-ish minutes of sheer insanity. I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Genuinely incredible Christmas movie.

Company holiday party with a plus 1 hits sooooooo different!

Trim and a snip and a shine.

I mean, come on. Just look at em!

I'd look SNATCHED if I didn't order mozzarella sticks every time I saw them on a menu.

We realized an hour into our date that we were both wearing flannels. 😘

And if the Coca-Cola Polar Bear is on my "Hear Me Out" cake, what then?!

Broke out my favorite sweats for the last day off.

Cum.

Good morning, im still full of pie, but alas, not full of guy.

And now.....PieFest 2025.

ITS PIKAAAAACHU!

Happy Thanksgiving ya filthy animals. May you too be stuffed, covered in cool whip, baked at 350, and eaten.

Update: It is incredible.

And, I wonder when we are ever gonna change, change Living under the fear, 'til nothing else remains All the children say We don't need another hero We don't need to know the way home All we want is life beyond Thunderdome

I don't claim to have the best Mashed Potatoes in Whiterun. Earland Grey-Mane has that title. Man's spuds are legendary, all I ask is a fair shake.

Got out of work early, so im off to get empanadas and play video games 😊

Baby's first cavity search!

Crammed a week's worth of magic into one and a half days. Standby for my rough transition back to reality.

So we make lemonade...

Found out that my team misread an email about a conference this weekend, so we booked flights for today (Friday morning) only to find out that the conference itself starts tomorrow.....

And yes, the windows are open. Snuggle up!!!

Traded my body pillow for a body.

Oldest selfie on your phone. 2013. I plugged my phone into my computer to upload this as a Facebook profile picture.

No one's home. It's just you and me now, kitten.

Forever bothered by the fact that the corporate way to wear a sweater is with a WHOLE COLLARED SHIRT underneath it.

Slooooooow start to Friday

Free will is a hell of a drug.

We saw you from across the bar and really liked your vibe.

I am colorful.

Sweatpant season is finally hereeeeeeee

Absolutely delicious 6-month anniversary spread, and then I passed on them playing Pokémon 🥹 life is good

Mid-morning soak 😊

When I say "bussin'", this is what I'm thinking of.

AND I'M GETTING A NEW ONE FOR CHRISTMAS, BITCH!

*ZA SPOILERS* Who needs arms when you have legs like these?

ChatGPT, but all of the prompts are answered by a 🚬, call it ChatGPTea.

THEY RAN OUT OF WHAT?!

It is officially colorblock sweater season.

Slept in 😊😊

We should be referring to fake Labubu's as Lafubus. *I don't have any, I just like causing chaos.

This full moon has properly ruined my sleep schedule.

She's here!!!!!

If theres one thing ive learned about myself this locktober, it's that my nuts are huge.

WAIT A SECOND. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT THE 🫠 EMOJI ISNT THE EMOJI HEAD LAYING ON THEIR ARMS?! THEY'RE MELTING?!

Hows locktober going, fellow subs?