I love that mental health awareness is mainly targeted at the working class and not the demented people running things and making it awful here.

I love when men yawn like a little kitten. They don’t even know they’re doing it.

Ever spill something you organized like, well this is the world I’ve created for myself.

When I was little my dad would drive into Boston to help his mother and auntie visit the cemetery. I was little and clueless but now I realize my nonna was visiting her daughter and her husband there. Watching her youngest grandchild pray over them with her. Dad was sweet to do that for us. 🖤

In America sperm health can only good happen.

Make Meemaw & Peepaw hate fascism again.

Some of you haven’t seen those episodes of saved by the bell when one character recalls the conflict and then the other character does as well like with the wavy transition and everything, and it shows.

A very weird thing is how yt people like indigenous culture when it’s a native Hawaiian singing somewhere over the rainbow with a ukulele.

Maybe the real Halloween was the neo nazis we unfriended along the way.

Hey man you okay? You’re being very sheeple rn and I thought you said that was me. You good?

A witch bragging to a conservative that she saw a bald eagle. Just for funsies.

Lots of you are unwilling to handle the midlife crisis allegations and it shows.

Christian conspiracy theorist that hasn’t come full circle yet lol

Awww male lonely? Male maybe not mistreat generations of women??

I know what I sound like but That ain’t the letter lol

Love so much that Christians have Fckd it up so bad that Halloween is more important than the meaning of Christmas.

Oh to be paid attention to like it’s 4th and 1.

Raising my boys as lesbians 💫

Sometimes I remember I was out there just giving away vampire sex to people like y’all don’t know how I’ve done my part.

If nobody got me I know the gas station validation got me can I get an amen.

My Aquarius son (8) recently confessed to me on a bike ride that he never really wanted to go to anyone’s birthday parties he just wanted cake.

Spreadsheet of products I will not be buying because of white women vocal fry advertising.

Don’t flirt with me I’m in my 40’s and that shit is like crack to me.

My fave thing about the corporate workplace is that it’s always so obvious who isn’t getting laid.

Autocorrect changing it from duck tales to fuck tales.

All I know is the witches are working hard y’all. You tease us when shit don’t happen but we’re workin baby I promise.

Okay do I wear this outfit the mommy way or the mid life crisis way?

Idk we could have some drinks and karaoke puremoods?

If you’re complaining about how hard it is to get women off you’re admitting you’re bad in bed which we all fucking knew the whole time anyway, also go get a guy off 💫

Love how we are slowly desensitizing intelligence with these propaganda reality tv debates on straight forward concepts. Should be fine.

Reading to the trees to thank them for the pages.

I don’t even know how to begin to explain to an “alpha” that not only did the vagina monologues exist, partly as a result of inequality, they were very successful. You can’t fucking escape feminine power.

[Five minutes into girls night] okay we should be married.

Got a lash lift just to force myself to stop crying for a few days.

When someone says to me, “I never thought of it like that” I don’t feel smart I actually feel like they are smart and don’t know how to think dumb like me.

Sometimes I think about how my skeleton is moving underneath my tissue, but yeah how are things with you?

My favorite part about makeup is hiding the lines that prove I have smiled.

Celebrities “revealing” stuff is not just manipulative it’s lil baby bitch energy.

[forehead to forehead] I don’t know how to fix this.

It’s so weird here we all could simply log off for a day and create change but some people are like, “I WILL NOT!”

All I know is that last month’s luteal phase can never happen again.

Craving consistency from others? Be consistent then.

I don’t want attention, I want you to pay attention.

Cocaine ass administration.

It’s too bad y’all are pumpkin spice addicts because the August air is so special, magical and real. The beginning of harvest season isn’t an end to summer to me at all. It just smells, idk, delicious. Makes me feel, idk, grateful.

Today's vibe is shipwreck.

Old twitter was so fun around the full moon, I’ll never forget it tbh.

Supah sun, normal moon, nothin tuh worry about rising.

Don’t call me “loser” I’m an elder millenial and it will devastate me completely.

Scheduling crying time so I can effectively thug it out most of the time.