When confronted with a very low bar, Donald Trump endeavors to remove the bar entirely.

The universe is a scam!

Wikipedia should come in hardcopy.

This would be a great opportunity to revote on Independence.

Trump is lucky all those payments to Epstein got it caught up in his audit. He'll release the files as soon as the IRS determines if human trafficking qualifies as a business expense.

It sure seems like Andrew Tate inherited Epstein's network.

We're really trying not to murder journalists, but you know... old habits.

We would be better served putting ICE agents to work in the fields.

This probably would have gone better if the Saudi Prince had Dave Chappelle open for them.

Home Depot should have a Release The Files sales event where all profits on wood files go to the survivors of human trafficking. And tie-in with a medical supplier to donate profits from their motorized wheelchairs towards giving Donald the electric chair. That's called synergy... and justice.

BlueSky let me down not forcing this to the top of my feed for 4 days. And I let myself down not having all the money in the world for every piece For the one person who sees this, noted Thrizzler, Michael Kupperman is offering a bunch of great originals. Hurry! michaelkupperman.com/shop/edison-...

I'll tell you one thing, if a cow can march 3,000 miles over rugged terrain for a better life, I'd be willing to eat that cow.

I've started using this entire video as a GIF.

Creationists are okay with AI because they think humans are the original artificial intelligence.

MUSIC HISTORY: Tame Impala released their debut album, InnerSpeaker, on this day 15 years, 5 months and 24 days ago.

BlueSky feels like I moved into a house with a bad foundation they forgot to mention. And now I know I have to move again, but the thought of moving is the only thing that keeps me stuck here. Anyone have leads on a better house?

Are you telling me the next big medical breakthrough is super boogers? Eat that, RFK!

There's a reason the only place Mark Halperin could get a job was on Megyn Kelly's media channel.

Successful p̶e̶d̶o̶p̶h̶i̶l̶e̶s̶ save t̶i̶m̶e̶ by s̶k̶i̶p̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ every o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ word. If you can read this, you might be successful... or a pedophile.

"I honestly expected the serial pedoohile to be more refined," is not a sentence you will hear from serious people.

Demanding back pay now implies Democrats didn't think current law fully covered federal employees, putting federal employees and courts in uncertain territory for future shutdowns. This wasn't just surrender, it was future surrender.

Does it say anything that once liberals get holes in their brains, they go republican?

It's so cute when traditional reporters think this Supreme Court needs a "clean vehicle" to impose their political agenda.

Remember when James Comey had FBI files that showed Trump was an explicit pedophile and Hillary lost emails, but felt he couldn't appear biased on the emails? He deserves nothing.

We should pay for our military the same way Facebook does, by doing ads. That way, it's the people who are into it that pay for it.

It's so weird there are anonymous donors for the military, but food?, no way.

This is proof Capitalism has failed. I would have done it for half that. www.nytimes.com/2025/11/06/b...

Trump looks like he thinks it's his body and he's preparing to be falling very suddenly.

Subway has an opportunity to totally redeem their mascot image right now.

This is looking to be the biggest shutdown of airports since the Revolution. time.com/5620936/dona...

This would be a great opportunity to buy importer stocks. That's going to be free profits for them, because there's no way it's making its way back to the pockets of the customers who actually paid the money to cover those tariffs.

Honestly, you don't even want to be friends with someone who owns a boat. There's a reason they needed a boat to make friends.

Technically, there are enough victims per killing that is serial mass murder.

How far America has fallen. In my day, the CIA would have tricked Venezuela into attacking Nigeria for us.

I hope you enjoyed your trip to the Colosseum while Rome burns, you heathens! Go Mariners!

Having a gambling addiction is like saying you have a chocolate addiction. Trust me, I have both.

The only realistic thing about House of Dynamite is now that the we don't have a Constitution, a British person can be President.

If they do this, move the procession to the 3 intersections a block away. There are more of us than there are of them. They will run out of storm troopers.

Oh, that money's gone.

Donald Trump never got past The Great Gatsby's title.

I go as a sea anemone for Halloween and then pretend whoever asks can't provide pronounce it correctly.

It's so weird that JD Vance's wife's religion is only an issue for him now that he wants to bang Charlie Kirk's widow. It's almost like it's what God wants too. www.nytimes.com/2025/10/31/u...

There is no amount of grief that will justify letting JD Vance feel you up.

However Charlie Kirk's widow chooses to grieve her loss is none of my ... WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING?

House of ...

If we're going to conduct open-air nuclear testing, we should do it in Florida since no people live there.

Science is so astonishing to me. Biologists were able to determine homosapiens had interbred with neanderthals just by going to one Trump rally.

republicans make their ex-Presidents not seem atrocious by electing someone even more atrocious the next time, but they are going to be hard pressed to find someone worse than Trump.

Just a reminder to dyslexics this Halloween, this year it falls on Dayfri the 31th.

For me, the bigger offense is that Mamdani actually pronounces it "aunt" instead of "ant." Where are we, a tea party?