Sorry, boys. You’re gonna have to wait until you’re 12 for that circumcision now. We are living in the #DumbestTimeline

If DJT gets a Nobel tomorrow after bombing Venezuelan boats (x4!) and “taking away a freedom of speech” then, (IMO) any living recipients should return theirs. #NoNobelforFascists

Even a little drunk I know that this administration wants to harm regular Americans. But ta the fucking little weirdos in chicken costumes that will save us and yall should be ASHAMED. PS I love weirdos

Hold on, is Pete Davidson (whose dad died on 9/11) performing at the Riyadh Comedy Fest? In Saudi Arabia? Dude, wtf?

Hey quick question, do we just not hear anything about the CIA anymore? It’s all DOJ FBI ICE bullshit these days.

Feeling a little hopeless about everything happening to this country. I need to see some positive stories and wins from the resistance to the fascist regime. Anyone wanna share?

So Pamela Bondi is boasting about their work stopping one Guatemalan man from sexually abusing a little girl but nothing on the Epstein files. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

Being fiscally responsible isn’t a conservative policy. You can be “fiscally responsible” by funding social programs through responsible taxation and accountability in military spending since they have never had a successful audit. It’s what Jesus would do.

R’s keep saying it would only be a 7 week extension for ACA tax credits why are Dems fighting for something so minimal? So why not grant them for 7 more weeks and.. Reopen the fucking government.

They shutdown the government and DJT hasn’t been seen since Tuesday. Suspicious.

Capitalists making money off of resistance movements is just peak American and we should not buy mass produced shit no matter how “aww fer cute” or slogan: relevant it is. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

This wasn’t exactly what I expected the end of US hegemony to look like but I’m here for it.

For the Jimmy Fallons of the moment.

Remember when the administration forced businesses to stop DEI programs? Damn, that was like 1,000 gray hairs ago.

The old Lie: "It is sweet and fitting to die for the homeland." I don’t know if there is a more appropriate poem for this moment we are in.

Decorum is weaponized by authoritarians; who in turn, exhibit none.

Interesting to see the Right start using they/them pronouns.

@jimmykimmel.com I doubt the admin expected your monologue would be magnified 10x over. Now everyone is repeating what you said. Awesome.

If men could have multiple orgasms the world might have been a much more chill place.

If this kids’ dad didn’t turn him in the FBI would still be holding their dicks and looking lost.

Charlie Kirk was shot at an event? But what I want to know is - what did you have for lunch today? I had a baked potato.

The #Epsteinfiles are a democratic HOAX, nothing to see here!! Also, innocent civilian DJT was informing on Epstein for the FBI. So stop asking questions, peasant.

Someone do @governorwalz.mn.gov next. I clearly suck at this 🤣

Didn’t expect #DemonSlayer to make my cry like that but here we are.

I definitely had “being gaslit by the Israeli ambassador” on my 2025 bingo card. Try being less of a cunt.

@mcuban.bsky.social can you pass it along to Kevin O’Leary that I absolutely fucking care about a child rape trafficking ring being covered up by 47? I can sit around my kitchen table, as a pleb, paying bills and fiercely want justice at the same time.

Tick tock, assholes.

Well, that’s an unsurprisingly long list.

Raise your hand if you were ever dumb enough to fall for Pootin’s ‘beautiful words’. Just Trump? Mmkay then.

Power resides where men believe it resides. It’s a trick. A shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow. Trump is no Tyrion, but he is a different kind of small man. And the shadow on the wall is shrinking. Epstein will be his undoing. One can hope.

Ohhh so he is GUILTY guilty. Got it.

I’ll never understand the families of the flood survivors thanking god for saving their relatives meanwhile 104 people (so far) died, including innocent children. You’re more special, I guess.

He’s a weak man’s idea of a strong man, a poor man’s idea of a rich man, a dumb man’s idea of a smart man, and a coward’s idea of a brave man.

This is it. This is the move.

#Brainerd Lakes Area friends: Operation Sandwich is live for summer take advantage of this wonderful program!

“We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us”. Epic.

The chaotic bit of whimsy I needed tonight. Credit: Sam Pink

#DiveCuyuna Went diving here (6/7), doesn’t look like much but it’s 170’ deep. Saw a beaver cut and some fishies.

Is it going to escalate to this? I sure hope so. Somewhere, Elon has the receipts. Let his dumbass be goaded into releasing them 🤣

This. We don’t want him and I hope they both destroy each other.

Confirming what we already knew. Still, you love to see it.

This is more visually pleasing to me than the FCC version. Anyone else?

If I say “hey girl, hey“ when I see you it’s totally because I forgot your name.

@booker.senate.gov Charles Kushner? Damn wtf

The news cycle focusing on Joe Biden and how the Dems could’ve handled his decline differently ✨is moronic✨ when a) the media was complicit and b) they’re doing it again 🥭

It’s exactly that