Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! Coming soon, folks. And if you don't already, subscribe to my Substack! Link in bio.

We don't talk enough about how Phoebe Cates fucking ATE as Princess Caraboo.

Good morning.

The Prowler (1981) is on Tubi and the white pumps are serving Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent hennies. Also: we did not deserve Vicky Dawson.

Oh, okay. Fuck your birthday, then, I guess.

Bought the no-chafe undies this time.

Made savanyú káposzta—aka sauerkraut. In a couple weeks, it will have stunk up the whole neighborhood and be delicious. 🙌

I need y'all straight guys to stop wearing these fucking shoes with EVERYTHING so the algorithm will stop suggesting them to me. Please. I beg.

Gays—the goddess Cleo Laine has left us.

Reminder that summer in the American South isn't about the heat, it's about the humidity.

I think a lot about that time Jane Fonda couldn't get her red carpet dress off, so she just slept in it.

Watching The Studio, and it is *chef's kiss* The only thing that would make it better is if Seth Rogen did the entire thing completely naked. I said what I said.

Genevieve O'Reilly didn't get an Emmy nomination for "Andor." I'm calling the police.

May the world treat you the way you treat all those indie authors whose books you never buy, even though you swear up and down that their stories matter. #indieauthors #authorsofbluesky

So, question for some of y'all on here: why is it that you only allow yourselves to interact with self-published authors after you've posted a "Pick me!1!!" post begging them to post the links to their books? Real answers only!1!! 😉

Me, just having fun on Bluesky:

Made #avocadotoast for lunch.

Watching the Queen Mother AND Irene Sharaff's costumes.

Multimillion dollar corporations on May 31 vs June 1. #PrideMonth

Ooops. I totally forgot I had a Bluesky account again.

If I send you this, it means you gon' listen to me next time, ain't you?

The genie that lives in the empty Budweiser bottle you find in a ditch.

Had avocado toast for breakfast.

Me: *finds out there is a queer bookstore in the Atlanta metro* Also Me: *thinks I might see if they would consider stocking my books* Then Me: *checks out their inventory online* Now Me:

Started writing again, so I guess that means I'm true to this.

I made a thing. Because... ear and nose hair.

Amazon really—like, for REAL really—thinks I care what books famous people are reading. 😂

#Treksky Them: What radicalized you? Me:

Good morning to everyone who will always call it the Gulf of Mexico.

Accurate.

If you rolled on Ecstasy, took your shirt off and danced on top of the speakers at a gay bar in the 80s to this song, go see your chiropractor.

Two groundhogs stand before me...

If you have to do a 9,648,720,531 point turn to back into a parking space...? Maybe you should just pull in facing forward.

Today is my first query anniversary. My "queryversary," I guess.

Made Bún Thịt Nướng for dinner and daaaaaaaaaaaamn!

Tevye Shimmele Rosenberg is giving us face this morning, y'all. Is there a #Dogsky on here?

"Evil is always more easily imagined than good, somehow." Gregory Maguire

I don't know who needs to hear this, but we don't need you to review classic literature on Goodreads like you just discovered it and none of us have read or even heard of it.

Atlanta Weather: It's going to snow. Atlanta Weather: Oops. No, it's not. My bad. Atlanta Weather: Okay, no. It IS going to snow. I mean it this time. Atlanta Weather: Wait. No. It definitely is NOT going to sn— Atlanta Weather: Yes. Yes, it is going to snow. Atlanta Weather: Aaaand it's not.

Y'all get ready, because a whole lot of folks who stay silent about things that matter are about to share this quote like it's their job.

Me to me:

New butthole terminology just dropped.

It do be facts, though.

I stand corrected and my apologies to local meteorologists (kinda... because y'all still get it wrong 99% of the time). Snow Day 2025 is in full effect!

Most of these "human interest" stories y'all swoon and fawn over are not really that interesting.

Meteorologists: There is a 98% chance of winter precipitation in the Atlanta metro on Friday. Me: Snow? In Atlanta?

Scrolling social media and seeing all the shitty writing "discourse" like