Part 1/8: The full story of what is happening with this page: My page got listed as a spam account a couple of days ago. I contacted Bluesky to find out why, and apparently it happened because they feel that I am following too many people, and apparently they consider

Well, I've been listed as a spam account for some reason. I'm currently appealing, but if it doesn't get lifted in a few days I will have to end the page. No point posting if nobody can see. If I do leave, know that I value your advice and will follow it moving forward ❤ Thanks you guys.

So apparently someone reported my page as spam. Was it because I blocked scammers and they are retaliating? Who knows?? 🤷

Talking with people and getting advice on here is helping. I hope that others feel comfortable posting their own feelings here as well. Maybe we can all help each other.

In keeping with my determination to distract myself with positivity today, I have to say that nobody, and I mean NOBODY, makes me laugh like Conan O'Brien. Time to go down the rabbit hole 😆 Who is your favorite comedian? www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-Bk...

Part 1/4: I'm trying to strike a balance between facing my demons and avoiding them, and both of these strategies are for the sake of my own growth and mental health. When I started all this, I spent two solid months writing, just getting everything off my chest.

I've been going for walks. I'd be lying if I said it is completely solving my mental health problem, but I'd also be lying if I said it didn't help at all. Exercise euphoria is a thing, and a temporary boost is helping me get through the day. It is only one piece of the puzzle, but an important one.

I'm getting a lot of great advice from you guys. I've already taken the first steps of writing, and doing things I enjoy, but I'm also getting a lot of good book recommendations from you as well as tips like volunteering, and asking around at universities for affordable mental health care. Thanks :)

Every single one of these points applies to me.

Part 1/2: A big part of why nobody in my real life knows how bad my mental health is, is because I don't want to be a burden on anyone. An unexpected effect of posting my feelings on the internet is that people can choose to read what I write, or not. Nobody is going to feel obligated to listen, or

Part 1/3: My emotions have been under lockdown for literal decades. All I have been capable of feeling is anxiety and anger. My emotions have been starting to come to the surface more. I've been laughing a lot more and a lot easier recently, but I

The state of the world is horrific. I always knew there were evil people out there, we get warned about it starting from early childhood, but until the last few years I honestly didn't know that the rot ran this deep. It makes you want to throw in the towel.

The last few months have been daily intense stress and grief. As time passes it is lessening. I'm still going to be feeling it a lot going forward, but I'm doing better than before. I'm at least having days here and there where I'm okay. To preserve that I won't turn on the news today either.

Some days I wish I had valium.

Part 1/2: In my effort to improve my mental health, I'm reading books, analyzing, trying to learn, but this is a double edged sword. That level of attention to my mental health problem is important to growth and healing, but it

Part 1/2: Something interesting happened the other day. I suffer from chronic health problems, and I was having a couple of really bad days. I felt extremely unwell, and my resting heart rate which is normally 60 bpm was at 112. When I posted honestly about how I was feeling suicidal, within an hour

I guess anxiety doesn't always have to be linked to negativity. I just made my first book sale, and am feeling super anxious (Will they hate it? Do I suck?? OH MY GOD WILL EVERYONE HATE ME???), but I'm also feeling excited and hopeful and happy it happened!

Part 1/2: Although this page is supposed to acknowledge the parts of my life that I can't talk about in the real world, it is still only one piece of the puzzle to my failing mental health. It is also important to acknowledge the state of the world. The rise of fascism and the sudden awareness

I can already feel I'm holding back on this page. The point was to have an outlet to express myself, but I'm already censoring myself because I'm worried people are going to think I'm being dramatic or whatever. So I'm just going to say it. I struggle with suicidal thoughts daily.

This. It's not like I don't have friends. It is just that there is literally not one single person that I can really talk to about my life. People can't deal, for a variety of reasons. Loneliness isn't that people aren't physically there, it's that I can't share my emotional burden with anyone.

It's been nearly four months since estrangement with my mother. It feels like someone died. Every day I wake up she is the first thing I think of, and the pain of that loss sits with me all day. Today it took nearly an hour after waking until I thought of her, so I guess that is progress?

Some days it is just hard to keep going.

Pretty much the reason I wrote my story and started this page. It helps.

I learned a new word today: enmeshment. Apparently this is a phenomenon, originally to describe parent-child relationships, where there is such a lack of boundaries that it becomes difficult to be your own person. I feel like I fall into this category with my mother.

Part 1 of 2: I just watched a very interesting documentary called "Join or Die", which is an extremely alarming name, but is actually about the importance of joining clubs and socially interacting with a community of people. They talk about it in the context of its effect on democracy as a whole

I have to continually remind myself of this.

Looking for ways to improve my mental health. Therapy is out of my reach, but I'm trying to exercise more, eat better, journal, spend time with friends. I've been told about psychedelics and CBT, but I'm also open to any other suggestions people might have that I haven't thought of.

My name is Melissa Brooks. As a way of dealing with my past, I have written a memoir in an attempt to heal and cope. My story is true. I hope telling it helps me. You can read my book here: www.amazon.com/dp/B0GMNXSFW3