good morning

a little scared but i'm sleepy and hugging plushie so it's okay~

things always happen too soon and not soon enough

oneechan...

was surprised because some tea smells different than i remember it smelling and then i was like, i don't actually remember smelling this tea at all because usually i don't smell stuff which is how i realised someone else is sharing half of front oops

i tried to do something and, as is typical, got an error that makes absolutely no sense (the lack of an error message at all, in fact) i'll just go sleep and figure this out tomorrow

feel kinda suffocated lately might go somewhere else for a bit

i want to eat not a burger but the idea of a burger, the real one would probably make me feel sick

how do you wear a watch and not just have a watch-shaped indentation in your wrist i don't get it

sometimes it is nice that my subconscious can just tell me things and my brain will translate it to words

open mangadex, chapter posted 40 seconds ago, nice

i'm scared that i'll fall asleep and never wake up again this is not a reasonable thing for me to be scared of but yeah...

i wanna take a train somewhere again...

today i actually spent a decent amount of time drawing something maybe another day i'll finish it and post it maybe i won't

sometimes i'm sitting down for a while and then i stand up and think woa i'm so tall that's cool :o

okay i unfollowed the official account finally, it is useless to have in my feed

trans magical girl in this anime, that's pretty cool

a face i've always known, that is not my own...

the only time i have motivation to do something i then don't have energy to do it...

today is one of those days where i can't imagine myself eating anything, probably not a good sign

okay, weekend plan, come up with a hostname for this new mac mini, set it up at the dc, reinstall the macbook with asahi. cool

why is everyone talking about sports today

there's no way i'm going to grow up like this... just going to keep being the scared little kid i've always been i don't want this but the world isn't giving me much else at least i'm happy that i can do the few things i can~

i don't want to be here but there isn't anywhere better for me to be there doesn't seem anywhere for me to be i want to be here... but it feels sometimes like i'm never really going to be a part of it, just pushing myself to have a glimpse at something

huh this anime has live action EDs, that's cool

anyway i have been deep in my IDE the last couple days doing some stupid but very useful nonsense for work so i forgot to look at this

someone sent me an email written all in lowercase and i'd like to reply to them like that but it was sent to my real-name email and i can't write like this there...

we might not understand ourselves sometimes, our irl friends definitely don't know us well enough to understand us, but they somehow still manage to make us feel safe it's really nice~

kinda dissociating, wonder how tonight will go

building qemu on a VM with 2gb ram wasn't the best idea, oops

i think i'm getting a cold

tried putting my phone in my backpack and not thinking about it for a while and, being consciously irl feels nice, but also it feels like i'm very much alone because the people i love aren't there

as usual i need to be on transit for an hour to get home and my phone battery is dying and i forgot to bring a charger (or it's at the bottom of my backpack maybe)

it's 5am and i have not managed to sleep yet and i'm supposed to wake up at 10 :(

kno.wled.ge is the coolest domain

the next time brain has energy to figure out something new, i want to try to get some pants that are not sweatpants, something more light to wear around the house

true

now i'll do some chores to distract myself from computer and then go to sleep, whatever

welp seems like this board is dead, it won't get past pcie initialisation even with nothing plugged in i'll leave it for the night and if it still doesn't boot tomorrow, it's a coin flip whether i did something dumb or if it's just what i get for buying open box

uh and just as i said that i'm getting i/o errors reading files from dom0's disk wtf

so apparently all the trouble i had setting up VMs on xen is because i typoed vcpus= as cpus= which configured cpu pinning instead of cpu count... so all my vms were getting one single core oops

okay today was a bit much i think i'll go for a walk

it's episode 4 and they already have a new ED???

my brain is trolling me, i woke up with the rickroll song stuck in my head for some reason

started laughing at something on twitter while taking my meds and almost choked on them oops lol

i'd give you everything i have just so you can be okay, but this world doesn't allow me to give you what you need, it's not fair

sometimes i read something and get inspired to make something of my own and then in the middle of doing it i get scared i'm just taking the feelings from the original work

i keep forgetting to treat this as a private account... bsky not actually supporting private accounts makes it kinda hard

oh my tailscale has been turned off for a few hours and i didn't realise, oops

bleh