Best film adaptation of The Odyssey, wrong answers only

I think this is part of the reaction where the US spun so wildly from Obama to the orange twat. They saw a black man being competent to the extreme, that a lot of white people with fragile egos couldn’t take it. They wanted a racist to show ‘em white supremacy is based on summat. So that’s gone well

Pros and cons to being self employed as your main job but deciding to put the world on hold for a bit whilst you eat your lunch by a pond, with your bestest dog, watching ewes with new lambs is a definite pro.

Being an adult doesn’t mean you have to outgrow joy. Play the game. Buy the console. Get excited about the trailer. Spend your night saving a fictional kingdom if that’s what gets you through. Life takes enough from people. Don’t hand it the things that still make you feel like yourself.

One of the kids speed running the Scientology buildings looks a lot like Jesus. So the universe does still have a sense of humour.

Life hack based in no way on something I’ve just done. To put off delivery companies leaving your neighbours parcels at your house: store an unwanted Lush product near a radiator for a year. Discover and open it during a tidy up it so that a discoloured liquid mush coats your hands.

#CestTresTresConMaisCaMeVa 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤣🤣🤣

I do slightly feel for councils sometimes. Not the ones who twat around spending tens of thousands on flags. But, our roads were getting silly with all the fixing they needed. Now the council is doing it, everyone is complaining about roadworks everywhere. It is a bit annoying but what can they do?

I was sitting in on CPD yesterday where we were speaking about the conditions which can cause the most physical pain. The main thing I learnt was excitedly going ‘omg it’s me! I have that!’ to seeing your condition on the list, like you’re playing Bingo, makes others give you weird looks.

Visual representation of what dopamine chasing activities do to your mental health, before you get that ADHD diagnosis.

I feel like we had a similar thing with msn messenger where the equivalent of the 😋 smiley (as it was then) was massively over used and was a way to avoid causing offence or confusion cos you were being light hearted. That msn lil guy didn’t really crossover very well onto current social media.

Someone had set up an ‘I’m voting Reform’ placard near where I walk the dog. It wasn’t outside anyone’s house, just getting in the way of pedestrians. On the return journey ~40mins later, saw someone had taken it down. There’s a metaphor in there somewhere. Good on whoever shoved it in the bin!

Just so you know, however you expressed your free will today, I think I beat ya cos I used my free will to buy a mint green fat dinosaur.

Have a bee butt.

Love to see it Mexico 🇲🇽 🥳

I have an adorable but daft friend who is evidence men shouldn’t be in charge of women’s bodies. He noticed my vitamin D and contraceptive tablets look identical so "to save space" why didn’t I put them all in one jar. I said I need to take both. He advised I just take two pills out the jar.

Ride it to the job interview. You gonna take the risk to tell someone they don’t have the job when they’re on an elephant?

Slightly diminish a book The Stick Figure of Dorian Gray

He’s so round and fluffy I told him to fuck off cos he’s just too adorable! Look at him!!! Look!!!

A guy stopped me when I was walking the dog to excitedly explain that he spends his lunch hour sitting on a log in the woods with an app which tells him what all the different birds are from birdsong. He’d just got a personal best at 16 birds. Less flag hanging and more of whatever that is.

My dog is definitely overconfident in my basic survival skills.

I have a terrible habit of trying so desperately hard to not say certain turns of phrase around patients who are amputees, I inevitably end up saying them. Highlights include: -telling a guy with no legs he’d be back on his feet soon -asking a guy with only one arm if he’d like a hand.

Someone has changed it to make it so that every time anyone mentions one of the colleges I work for on social media, all staff get an email alert. Which we can do nothing about cos most of us don’t have access to the SM account for the college. This is in no way an irritating waste of time.🫥

Looks like an NFT.

Evil bastards.

I just found a pink sparkly M stuck to my arse wth

Apparently several years ago I gave my horse a bath. So naturally when he got back to his field he rolled in the nearest mud and was ✨thrilled✨ with himself. I always loved him being a goofball. He deserved it after the abuse he endured.

The progress made in medicine regarding HIV/AIDs is remarkable. Cures are (tentatively) being found. But for now: -get tested regularly -use barrier contraception if you’re not sure about someone’s status -take your meds -stay healthy and keep others healthy. This applies to everyone not just lgbt+

On the one hand, I am trying to save as much money as possible and I’m trying to lose a little weight so I’m not buying many clothes. However… I have also just seen a full length cardigan which is very Stevie Nicks so god obviously wants me to buy it.

Imagine being that fancy. All the time. What a legend.

Reading a book which is a biography of this particular aristocratic families fall from grace. Got to the bit which is in the early 20th century. All the super rich are kicking off cos a Labour government are introducing a tax on mass land ownership. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Some parents do love learned helplessness. Mum literally just has to speak to an internet provider to start a new contract. “Well can’t you do that for me?” Yea I can obviously phone up someone and say “well the bank account owner won’t speak to you but she doesn’t mind me spending her money.”

Ukrainian artist, Ivan Chernov

Think I might need to get some new jim-jams as at half past six morning, when I stood up, my bottoms fell down.

Am I the only one who thinks that Everybody Wants to Rule the World sounds like the theme to Fireman Sam?

I'm brave enough to admit that I would, in fact, buy this the day it goes on sale or see it opening night. Yes, I would.

Yeah it really is just recycled homophobia. I wouldn’t want a kid to grow up to be trans in a society which is hateful to them. When society hates on a group there is a change which is vital but it ain’t ever the group that’s just trying to exist.

Every single time I take my dog to the vet cos she’s lame, she’s turns into Lindford Christie when we get through the surgery doors. Fortunately the vet believed me and we did get her pain relief.

Habemus Papam 🔊

- I have an anxiety disorder. There are things which - illogically - send my flight/fight response soaring. - I am very good in an emergency. I will stay calm and work methodically without any issue at all. I’m more at ease doing A&E shifts than I am in life generally.

They have a point…

Could also be a journalist issue.

Burlesque dancer bird

However much written feedback I give, I don’t ever get past worrying positive comments sound like I’m being sarcastic.

So like the first incel/alphabro hissy fit was over Vikings?

Interesting development. I only ever wear the watch which tracks my BMP/footsteps etc when I’m walking the dog & exercising. But the watch has still had readings overnight. So I guess I have a ghost in the house who is also trying to improve their fitness. Who knew ghosts still have worry about that

Klaus McForkface, a lifting robot developed by German manufacturer Linde AG, performed a stunning 1200-kilogram (2646 lb) overhead lift in Hamburg, beating the human world record by more than 300%