My debut was going to be next week on my birthday. But im wondering if i should delay it a bit. I havent gotten to post much about it and my model isnt finished till right before debut so i cant make teasing videos to attract more attention. Should i delay it a lil?

I need more puppy girl friends around here. WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER PUPPY GIRLS?!

This is 10000% me and @lizmurmur.vtubers.social She was flirting with rainn while I was trying to hit on him. I straight up called her a bitch too. And now we are BEST friends xD I wouldn't give up that bitch for the world. LOVE U BISH

Cupcake is judging you

BIRTHDAY REDEBUT SUBATHON ANNOUNCEMENT!~~ JANAURY 23 6pm CST! Who would have guessed Id bring this back. You thought skipping one year would stop me from rebranding on my birthday ever again? WRONG! The tradition continues cuz i have adhd. My body will be ready for you birthday AND NO SOONER >:O

Me once again rebranding on a birthday month? Who would have guessed?!?

Ya know ive asked twitter a few times and no ones answered me. Whats the best way to record your game play and model seperately for long form editing while also streaming on twitch. Like theres gotta be a way to do all that same time? I just dont know how?

New Year New Me~... Literally Princess Atrocity --> 🦴Puptrocity🦴 Your succubus has chosen a new form. Gone are the days of just SAYING i have puppy energy. Here it is loud and clear. Redebut tba later this month for my birthday, returning tradition of birthday rebranding xD

I know my husband did not just partially wake up beside me and continually claim I'm grumpy and that's why cupcake wouldn't cuddle him on the bed and then go back to sleep.... this lil shit.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Me and @rainningdeath.bsky.social wish you both lovely holidays. If you are lonely during the celebrations, don't worry. We will take over the role as your parents! Hugs and love for everyone! 🎨: BuiChuba

I am @rainningdeath.bsky.social 's Christmas present again this year. But its okay. He's giving me MY favorite christmas present too 😉😜

Omfg hubby got me a Japanese cheesecake at the mall. ITS SO YUMMY. He spoiling me on my diet cheat days.

Went on a fun little date with the hubby to the mall. I hadn't dressed up in a long time but 30 pounds down and dressed all goth made me feel cuuuuute. He kept coooomplimenting me

Do you guys like me and @rainningdeath.bsky.social new sweaters? He a lil pouty having to wear the sweater instead of DOING what it says 😋Dont worry he will be rewarded later for wearing it 😉😜

I'm tired.. so tired of trying...

I just want to be held by you again. And hold that handsome face of yours again. Distance is so hard.

god i just want to be held. i want to cuddle into his big arms and feel his warmth.

1 single I love you. 1 I miss you. 1 I wish you'd come home. And my mood has changed completely. It'd like a weight off my chest. Like I can breath again.

i FUCKING HATE IT HERE. I HATE MY SIBLINGS. I HATE THIS HOUSE. i just want to go home. i dont wanna be here. i hate it. im tired of it. i dont want to exist. im so fucking done. im tired. im exhausted of even existing.

I can't go back to sleep but I slept so little. I'm crying again. I really am worth nothing. Sometimes I want to just delete everything. All social media. Even discord. Tell no one and just go find a spot and disappear from the world. I want to just die.. I'm tired of existing. I'm tired of hurting

Im having another one of those days where i think if i disappeared certain peoples lives would just be happier.

Some days are okay. and then some are just really hard. Where I hate my mere existence. Im tired of bedrotting but i cant get myself up. What did i ever do so wrong in life where i must go thru the same pains over and over again. Did i ask for too much? I just wanted love. why is life so cruel.

its fun to dirnk the bad brain wolrms awjay. cant be depresdsed if everythings a lil spihnny

I think the suicidal ideation has gone farther than just ideation at this point.

Every day. More and more. I start to believe youd be happier if i just didnt exist. That you would be happier if I was dead. That you wouldnt feel anything for my death but a moment of guilt. But then youd be happy.. And thats all i want is ur happiness.. So sometimes i really think i should..

I am apparently worth.. so little. God im tired of crying.

When u just want to be there for them during them obviously going thru some stuff. But they deny they are even going thru something.

god im down so bad sometimes

I'm so tired of emotions. And caring. I wish I could just turn my feelings off. But for some stupid reason i cant. I just keep loving and caring. Being a human sucks. I feel like I'm slowly dieing man.

I wish there was a way to just turn off feelings and emotions. I wish i could just make myself not care about anything anymore. Life would be much easier if I could. Instead i care and love too much. I try too hard. And its slowly killing me and eating away at me.

Ugh when u try and masturbate the depression away. But now I'm just tired, sore and depressed.

You want me emotionless? Tou want me to stop 'trying so hard'? Fine ill hide my care. Like it doesnt exist ill hide it from your eyes.

I'm tired.. so so tired.

I don't know if I was ever really loved.

I think I've started to shut down. I don't want to be around friends. I've started self isolating. I'm growing numb but in a bad way.

When u lay in bed thinking about what good bye messages you'd leave everyone someday.

apparently im just a sad lost puppy man. feel pathetic. just beggin for scraps.

At what point does suicidal ideation just become 'pre planning'?

Going to sleep. Have to play YouTube video of a man snoring so I can even fall asleep anymore lol

Tonight is just a horrible night.

Im making this bluesky where is just my venting area now. So if you dont like depressing messages or mention of negative topics please unfollow. I need some sort of venting place before i implode catastrophically

my selfharm marks have almost healed and almost gone... and yet sometimes i wish to add more.. to feel something other than what ive been stuck feeling.

My brain went really bad earlier.. i hadnt cried in a few weeks. But i was left laying there in a very wet cold pillow.. I stopped crying now.. But the bad thoughts havent left..

if i were to disappear tomorrow would you even mourn for me? Or would you feel freeing with me finally gone?

Sometimes i just sit here staring at a wall wishing everything was a nightmare that id just wake up from it. I want it to all go back to normal.

It sucks when u feel like u put so much effort and end up feeling like you get nothing in return.