1 single I love you. 1 I miss you. 1 I wish you'd come home. And my mood has changed completely. It'd like a weight off my chest. Like I can breath again.

i FUCKING HATE IT HERE. I HATE MY SIBLINGS. I HATE THIS HOUSE. i just want to go home. i dont wanna be here. i hate it. im tired of it. i dont want to exist. im so fucking done. im tired. im exhausted of even existing.

I can't go back to sleep but I slept so little. I'm crying again. I really am worth nothing. Sometimes I want to just delete everything. All social media. Even discord. Tell no one and just go find a spot and disappear from the world. I want to just die.. I'm tired of existing. I'm tired of hurting

Im having another one of those days where i think if i disappeared certain peoples lives would just be happier.

Some days are okay. and then some are just really hard. Where I hate my mere existence. Im tired of bedrotting but i cant get myself up. What did i ever do so wrong in life where i must go thru the same pains over and over again. Did i ask for too much? I just wanted love. why is life so cruel.

its fun to dirnk the bad brain wolrms awjay. cant be depresdsed if everythings a lil spihnny

I think the suicidal ideation has gone farther than just ideation at this point.

Every day. More and more. I start to believe youd be happier if i just didnt exist. That you would be happier if I was dead. That you wouldnt feel anything for my death but a moment of guilt. But then youd be happy.. And thats all i want is ur happiness.. So sometimes i really think i should..

I am apparently worth.. so little. God im tired of crying.

When u just want to be there for them during them obviously going thru some stuff. But they deny they are even going thru something.

god im down so bad sometimes

I'm so tired of emotions. And caring. I wish I could just turn my feelings off. But for some stupid reason i cant. I just keep loving and caring. Being a human sucks. I feel like I'm slowly dieing man.

I wish there was a way to just turn off feelings and emotions. I wish i could just make myself not care about anything anymore. Life would be much easier if I could. Instead i care and love too much. I try too hard. And its slowly killing me and eating away at me.

Ugh when u try and masturbate the depression away. But now I'm just tired, sore and depressed.

You want me emotionless? Tou want me to stop 'trying so hard'? Fine ill hide my care. Like it doesnt exist ill hide it from your eyes.

I'm tired.. so so tired.

I don't know if I was ever really loved.

I think I've started to shut down. I don't want to be around friends. I've started self isolating. I'm growing numb but in a bad way.

When u lay in bed thinking about what good bye messages you'd leave everyone someday.

apparently im just a sad lost puppy man. feel pathetic. just beggin for scraps.

At what point does suicidal ideation just become 'pre planning'?

Going to sleep. Have to play YouTube video of a man snoring so I can even fall asleep anymore lol

Tonight is just a horrible night.

Im making this bluesky where is just my venting area now. So if you dont like depressing messages or mention of negative topics please unfollow. I need some sort of venting place before i implode catastrophically

my selfharm marks have almost healed and almost gone... and yet sometimes i wish to add more.. to feel something other than what ive been stuck feeling.

My brain went really bad earlier.. i hadnt cried in a few weeks. But i was left laying there in a very wet cold pillow.. I stopped crying now.. But the bad thoughts havent left..

if i were to disappear tomorrow would you even mourn for me? Or would you feel freeing with me finally gone?

Sometimes i just sit here staring at a wall wishing everything was a nightmare that id just wake up from it. I want it to all go back to normal.

It sucks when u feel like u put so much effort and end up feeling like you get nothing in return.

Sometimes I feel like im not needed in anyones life.

That weird moment when u have to go searching for white noise of a man snoring to help u fall asleep lol

Cant tell if im losing a lot of hair rn because im stressed, depressed or cuz i rarely eat anymore lol..

Some days existing is really hard. Some times just wish i could disappear from the world.