Instagram should have a mandatory quarterly review of your close friends

Luigi Mangione is at the Winter Olympics opening ceremony

blinding lights by the weeknd is public domain

Bruno Mars is the real rizzler

there should be a separate red carpet at the Grammys for producers

it ain’t my birthday party if I’m not going back to the bar the next day

“i think i understood the song northern attitude for the first time today”

I’m legit losing sleep over how bad Shane Hollander’s taste in music would be

Legos is the guy version of crafting

the day chatgpt dropped Jimmy Fallon lost half his staff

weaponized incontinence

I’ve never heard a good subway order

holy shit remember ballin flossin

Catholicism was kinda the original MLM

idris elba is in the waiting room of the Pitt

ghost kitchen for dogs

“is that a love your melon hat?” okayyyy piotr reading me to filth (it wasn’t)

CATIE AND I JUST DISCOVERED WE WENT ON A DATE WITH RHE SAME GUY AHXHUABDH HAHAHAHAHHA

my company gets Presidents’ Day off. like am I republican?

cringe is out but shame is in

Jimmy Fallon SNL Christmas monologue

all my friends are unreliable narrators

are you free this weekend? we’re gonna conceal and carry at PF changs

I see football on the tv in my home and I start acting like professor umbridge

wouldn’t be thanksgiving without my brother describing scenes from family guy to me on the drive back to the suburbs

hate when a man wins dancing w the stars. like don’t you have enough

ya I served. in the fail army.

questlove follows david dobrik on instagram

if we got kate sanchez in a suit and tie, she would be our first she/they president

we shouldn’t have ever let this garbage slide

any time I don’t sleep well I’m like damn what if I get kidnapped tomorrow and I’m too tired to fight them off

I live life like my blood type b negative

whoever invented a button fly on jeans should stand trial

the idea of hooking up with Joe Keery is immediately ruined by the thought of having to text him after

addicted to deleting and redownloading the MLB ballpark app

shoot, can’t tonight. have to review my large attachments

I don’t believe in using a bay leaf

twice baked potato is basically just a deviled egg

who is keeping the lights on at the kendra scott on southport

my apologies to the cvs pharmacist who I trauma dumped on and used the phrase “crashing out”. y’all are the real heroes ✊🏼

there should be a "no tesla" option on uber

lime why does it have to be a public humiliation ritual when I’m in the no ride zone. lime doesn’t have a bluesky or I’d tag them to yell at them. guess they aren’t woke like that #boycottlime

it would be so nice if go cubs go was like 70% less awful

i need everyone to know i’m not joking when i say this: boys should not be allowed to do karaoke

I can’t believe Jimmy Kimmel got censored before the Skechers porn ads on the el

kel just referred to a guy wearing a ton of makeup as “caked up”

wtf is wrong with Jimmy Fallon. what disease does he have

every presenter at the emmys: “I am also famous”

we used to get down with skinny love

I dare you to show me a company that doesn’t list “integrity” as a core value