Holy fucking shit.

[Aradia doesn't really-- wanna talk about it, but she knows she can trust Hank. A sigh, as she gives a nod.] Yeah, maybe tea and talking about it would help. . . I just. I'm emotionally strung out, more-so than physically. [She ditches the cold coffee down the drain of the sink.]

[She's none the wiser.]

[She checks any for being tampered with or any with bites taken out.] ...Thanks, Victor. For returning them. Genuinely.

I'm. . . surviving. Yeah. That's a good way to put it. Luce put himself to sleep by eating all the Hostess Cupcakes again. So, an addendum to my previous statement of burgers putting to sleep. A lot of food in general does. [She quietly slams back her 3rd cup of coffee this evening.]

Of course, Hank. . . I just-- it's hard to do a lot of food based thing without Luce eating things. It's-- hard. [Voice cracks like she's about to burst into tears, but she keeps herself together.] I'm glad you like it. Since it's basically strawberry season, I bought a bunch of strawberry snacks.

Ben, Jesus CHRIST.

[Luce sleepily waves a tentacle, and an always-exasperated Aradia offers a weak smile.] Good evening, Hank. . . How are you tonight?

[Warbling to Luce, just to see if he'd respond.]

Luce'll probably spit acid on you if you bite his tentacles, so I wouldn't advise it.

[A TENTACLE OR TWO COME OUT TO RESTRAIN HIM, MAKING HIM DROP THE BOXES. They tighten hard.] VICTOR.

With the halo and the wings and the eye on it, yes.

[She feels instantly like a chimney sweep or a paperboy from the 20s.] Peepaw-- can you get my hat back from Victor?

Hank, can you get Victor to give back the chocolate I got for everyone, not just him? I just tried to give him one and he stole four.

ONE, VICTOR. [Takes three out of his hands.]

He's stronger than he appears. He drags me places in my sleep sometimes. . . [She shrugs, scratching her surprisingly hatless head. Victor stole her hat.] It saves me the trip from bed to the kitchen, so I guess it's fine.

[Takes TWO out of his hand.] One, Victor.

Yeah, I've been eating. So has Luce, but he's been kinda sleepy today. Think he got into some sweets when I fell asleep. I woke up in the kitchen, so... y'know.

You literally cannot steal one, I got you one just for you.

[. . . Adapting is a way to put it. She slides him a small easter chick made of chocolate and full of peanutbutter creme.] Here, happy late easter, Peepaw.

Oh, uh-- that'd be great, but you don't have to. . . I feel bad that I was only able to manage store bought stuff this year. I wanted to bake, but Luce kept eating the pastry dough. So I just got something that would flummox Luce; stuff in simple boxes or bags. He hates boxes and bags.

Wait, Hank. I got you a big one. [Slides over one milk chocolate egg with strawberry creme.] I hope you like strawberry...

Happy Easter, guys. I bought everyone a chocolate egg. Grab 'em before Luce gets to 'em.

𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙄𝘼𝙉𝘼 𝙅𝙊𝙉𝙀𝙎. . .

...Kinda. The phrase always drilled into my head was... "It's just business". And I realize that. But-- it's still cruel and unusual how shit works in those kinds of places.

Hell. Especially with a rowdy parasite in my back, it was hell trying to like. . . make people think I was just a normal human. I got let go after a while, Luce threw a desk at my manager.

[She takes a seat next to him, and shrugs.] I mean, I don't like to remember that part of my life, but-- I was... a stripper. I had to shapeshift an entirely new identity. My face scarring had to be covered up while I was dancin'. [She can't make eye contact.]

[She looks at the batter cup, signifying that this was only the FIRST waffle of many. Hopefully the rest aren't as tough. Luce snatches the hot, slightly burnt and misshapen with a tentacle, pulling it into Aradia's back. Crunch.] He's been beaming waffle images into my mind all morning, ++

If only you knew. . . [A laugh, full of embarassment and awkwardness.] Yeah, it sucked ass. Getting to this point is definitely difficult. Do you wanna borrow some of mine? I have an unopened unisex deodorant.

We've read the back of the book, we know what's going to happen. The fields burned, the land destroyed, the lovers left broken in the brown dirt.

Secretive, it's a little embarrassing, you know? [She takes the box, but takes no more from it.] I was a star barista at a little cafe, and-- yeah. Two jobs to make sure I could pay rent and eat. . .

Barista, and...I had...a night job. Let's just put it at that. [Oh??]

Yeah. I've lost so many paychecks to burger-time.

. . .I don't get that, but Luce gets it. Sometimes he beams an image of what he wants into my brain and I have to get it in supple amounts. . .

[Grabbing a few more.] His metabolism is way different than mine, and we have two different stomachs. I'm just glad he's not eating human flesh, and is instead addicted to burgers. Your colon is going to kill you, dude. Do you want something else to eat? I could make you something.

It's never usually this quiet. He ate an entire box of Hostess cupcakes and then passed out halfway falling out of my back. I had to like, have someone lift him and put him back in. [Crunch.]

[Taking a handful.] Thanks. I've been dealing with a motherfucker all day and I'm exhausted.

[Are they warm?]

Will he allow visitors to stop by?

[Exhausted from training and dealing with Luce, so they're at least in the same boat.]

. . . Mmmgh.

[She steps away from the waffle-maker, allowing him full access to get that abhorrent waffle out of the maker. Luce is chittering loudly from behind her.] Luce, I know you're hungry, gimme a sec... [Turns to Hank.] He's been like this all morning.

[Slow blink.]

bsky.app/profile/beau... casually drops a fuckin alien on y'all and leaves ))

. . . Then why bring in the word "skibidi" in there?