sorry. just hits too close to home, literally. i dont want to believe that one day i'll have to Choose. im not the most pious person but my faith is still important to me

it just shatters me, yknow? bcs i want to believe the religion isnt that bad. but then i hear about cases like that and. well. its difficult

the news of that artist's suicide even reached my grandparents circles apparently. theyre flabbergasted that "cyberbullying" couldve caused it, and i just, aha. yknow. whole other side to that story i cant explain to them bcs they would take the family's side if they knew

anger issues banri

...?

whenever brain comes up with shippy fic idea it defaults to either shhy or mstz first before i can think about other pairs

sorry for thinking about juban so much. it will keep happening

saturday morning wet market fish so fresh they were still flopping around in the ice boxes. graphic media'd just in case ppl dont wanna see that

my fingertip is sooo red. you might think its bleeding or injured. but no ☝️ the food colouring gel

ive been mostly passive in my haterism but (redacted) actually made me mad enough to wonder if i can write a character bashing fic about him lmao

maybe today i will make icing and decorate some of the gingerbread

i wonder..... good intentions and all but you probably shouldnt bring up fan tl sites in, uh. the official server

eh　yaba.. hmhs only and antholo

something something the mistranslation telephone that resulted in c-ta's catchphrase going from 性がないな、A弥 → "You're so helpless A-ya" is kinda impressive if you think about it, in that it does keep the exasperated overprotective vibes C-ta has for him

yay 🥰

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hoping my energy levels go back up a bit once fasting month over... might need to pull allnighters the last few days before eid for all the food prep for the feast

okay so i just. slept most of the day

my sleep sched now is such that i get 3 hrs after midnight and then 3 hrs after dawnbreak. and steal whatever naps i can during the rest of the day

did smth happen in crk? i open twtx and see ppl angy over a new upd8 idk

sometimes i hitoshiz song pops up in my head and i wish i could just scrub all memory of it. i dont enjoy their songs anymore

sunset and i immediately drank two mugs of basilseed mango punch lmao

ive never been as impatient for sunset as today

oweaugh

oh god. sun is hot so sink water is hot and i. think i scalded my hands washing the dishes

i dont have energy to make icing for them so they will be Naked and Plain

attempting gingerbread cookies again

why is my stomach complaining. is it because of the entire litre of water i drank in five minutes. nooo that cant possibly be it

ive been bingewatching jp and eng playthrus of pkpia recently so thats what my mental state is at. also working on next chapter of the omegaverse fic

sorry shuuen for never hyphening the names. im too lazy

sorry im not coherent fully. am now thinking of half-reluctant accomplice eki to culprit bka

nameless shuuenposting so im also gonna drop a thought ive been having in the back of my head: if (assuming bka murderer theory true) someone suspects bka and names him as the culprit, Would eki come to his defense?

youd think since our national flower is the hibiscus i'd be more attached to kazunari. sadly that is not the case 😔

my spine hurt now

cookie wip

hmm. mayhaps drinkiing a lIter of hot malt choco drink wasnt the best idea

i have not had a crash this bad in a while.

masumi always being in some form of love with izumi is important to his character i think. its easy to cut that bit out or have him grow out of it but i think its far more interesting if a non-msiz masumi ship integrates it into the exploration of their dynamics, romantic or otherwise

please. i dont want to fall into another depressjve spiral can you jusT get up and do somethigm

trying to throw myself into new projects immediately after completing a finished one so i dont feel the accursed Emptiness in between

new masusaku in the pxv tag after so long yayyy

i wanna practice writing esuri stuff other than my comfort zone (shhy and haru) but i cant think of anyfin in particular...

sakuya omedet~

another tsuzumasu canon event has hit the feya #a3fanfic archiveofourown.org/works/80847556

...how do dates end. sorry i just realized the stuff i write tends to lead to the ship being horny and going for it but thats not my goal atm

??? so instead of making me cry, chopping onions make me sneeze now

wegh

huh. does yt not let you filter search queries by upload date anymore? lame

one of the cosplayers i follow is 40 and still cosplaying and one of my fav utaite is like, 50y/o iirc. never too old to not have fun with your hobbies