Cursed with a chatty uber driver this morning

I’ve been in the woods all day, who can check me for ticks?

Oh no! I hope your Artemis 2 doesn’t land in my Pacifussy

Finally got some food after becoming incredibly bitchy and I can feel my temper leveling out

My pussy hurts and I’m tired or whatever the saying is

Every time I have to fly back to Missouri for a weekend I start stressing that I’ll suddenly read the next 900 pages of my book and that I’ll need to bring another just in case.

Things that make you go hmmmmm

These dark circles?? Yeah, they’re ancestral.

Gee, I sure hope my ninja blender doesn’t sound like a Boeing 747 and wake up my husband this morning

Just posted a **** pic on my private story and a few minutes later I just got the urge to check that it was the correct story…. It WASNT!! It was my public story omfg

Stuck somewhere between “I should read at a coffee shop” and “I want to stay home and look at fcf posts”

Marry a man that knows how to whip up a pie crust in no time at all

Gorgeous gorgeous boys 🙂‍↕️

And why shouldn’t I start another Elden Ring play through that will consume my free time and captivate me for a month and a half?

I have this problem where every book I want to read is 1,000 pages long

@hippobottomus.bsky.social that’s my sister

Going to get margaritas with some gay boys for my birthday! Feeling blessed and highly favored

I’m sorry but if you haven’t had gooseberry pie then you’re not from the Midwest

Shocking my barber today by asking him if he realized that today will be my second official funeral haircut by him

My mom said she could drop us off at the white tower if your mom can pick us up

Okay I’m not allowed to unlock my phone again until I finish this survey

Sometimes having ADHD means proving to your brain that an activity won’t take the projected 2 hours. (I averaged the time it takes me to do one page and it will actually only take me 12 minutes. I spent more time finding my average and drafting this post.)

“He doesn’t like his name, he doesn’t like commands, he just likes *kiss kiss*”

Guess who has two thumbs and took a half day today

Just responding “oh that makes sense” when someone tells me their zodiac. Girl idk what all that means!!

Nothing bad can happen it can only good happen *I say as lots of bad things happen*

The wheel weaves as the wheel wills but why can’t it just will the way I want?

Sometimes I feel the urge to be messy on here but with my pure heart and my unwavering belief in all things good I am able to resist

My cat allergy final boss: going over to our friends house who has 5 felines with boundary problems

It’s still so crazy to me that I have to go work for someone else just to live my life. YUCK

Mason held up this shirt for me at the thrift store and asked, “does this have anything to do with Pokémon?”

Cutting the sleeves off of all of my shirts as we speak

The **** pic I just took…..

Getting to watch broad city with someone who has never seen it is such a religious experience

The plural of gooch is geech

My pronouns are ma/mer/mers

Happy Friday! Run your fingers through your bush for me 💋

Aries girls, our time has come

ngl Amish people have literally no drip 💀💀

Soooo when is Elden Ring Tarnished Edition coming out because I’m so sick of waiting

The demon has left my body, I am free

Meeting mutuals in person is so stressful because what’s going to happen when they realize that I’m even better in person

This is how I feel when I scroll this app

Brb, making corned beef for my Irish husband. He’s dancing a jig whilst I find a way to shove all of this corn inside some beef.

Yesterday I was running errands in shorts and a cut off and today it’s snowing.

Less interaction than I would have liked. It makes me think yall have really never heard of Gondobar as it’s called or Gondothlimbar, City of Stone and City of the Dwellers in Stone; Gondolin the Stone of Song or Gwarestrin it is named, the Tower of Guard.

Yeah yeah yeah, but what do you know about what ‘tis said and 'tis sung? Recite the seven names of Gondolin, quickly.

Never let your straight friends follow you. Wish I could say this was the only time she’s sent me a message like this…

Nearly 10 hours of sleep last night? Maybe god DOESNT hate f*gs

Lonely with a capital H