I really hope all of the pretty boys in my phone have a good day

No one held me accountable and I got nothing done

I have worked with my best friend for the last 6+ years and our last day together is this Friday :(

So so so so much to get done today. I need someone to follow me around with a stick and hit me if I sit down

Time for book 6!

And just like a gentle breeze I have the inclination to start yet another Elden Ring play-through

Now Vivacious… the John Deere??

If it walks like a cow and talks like a cow then it’s probably a cow

Recently my big thing is saying “don’t I know it” when someone tells me something

Bush bush bush

Bloomf knew me well enough to predict the reels I’d get in order

“If all my hot friends are jumping off a bridge then I’m going with them”

Typed and deleted the same post a million times. Guess you’ll never know!

Little does she know that I once held onto a very active grudge for over a year

Everybody wants to be a cowboy

I need to have a sign on my back today that says “don’t interact with me, I WILL be negative”

Every gay couple in Denver is at Costco rn. Gonna start calling it Cockco

Hearing someone chew their food makes my skin crawl

Call me George W the way I got that Bush

She’s a little weird, I’m a little weird, we’re both a little weird

One second he’s the hug monster and the next he’s the flower boy ❤️

One fun fact about me is that I can make a clover with my tongue and another fun fact is that sometimes the music playing in my head is so loud that I can’t sleep because it’s all I hear

One thing they don’t warn you about when it comes to getting really good at your job is just how much your coworkers will piss you off for not doing theirs.

I went ahead and ordered books 6-9 preemptively

My book FINALLY came in the mail (I ordered it on Friday)

I woke up before my alarm. Off to a great start

I’m going to have a bad day tomorrow, just planning ahead!

“Sorry I’m sweaty” …and when has that ever been an issue?

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a

Something fishy is afoot

“But yeah I used to shoot skeet”

Dude I hurt my wrist while I was hanging a planter on my patio and it was the hand I color with dude

Full frontal and backle

Neighbor bloomf told me to check my front porch (there was nothing there) just for it to be his way of asking to play rivals.

It really is quite soft 😌

I bring my book with me to work so I can talk all day about how I just wish I was reading my book and then the moment I get some time to read I’ll find something else to do so later I can say that I had no time to read my book :)

My week has been soooo long and sooooo hard

I hope that the woman stuck next to me in traffic double fisting a cig and a coffee has a good day

Wait, show me your bush really quick! I just need to see something!

The creator of Earth Day’s name was Gaylord?? Earth is soooo f*ggy

Same haircut, same me

Today tested me but you’ll be pleased to know that I failed!!

As a society we need to retire the yellow bell peppers

But can I hold it?

Haircut ✅ Will to live ✅

Deep down im just a country boy

“What that tongue do?” So so much, actually

I prefer The Beast before he turned back into a human

Cursed with a chatty uber driver this morning

I’ve been in the woods all day, who can check me for ticks?